I was here around 12 months ago as”cdtofi”

[Chezza]

Hi

Well I thought I would introduce myself, as it was last year when I was here.

Not sure if anyone remembers me or if some of the old members are still here

i joined last time as cdtofi

I would like to come back & write my traumatic history if anyone is interested

But It’s a bit late for me to be writing now, I think it’s time to sleep

I usually only write it in my notes on my iPad.

.i feel if I can continually get it out I would feel better about myself 

But I’m also an emotional eater. i just can’t stop.

I am 74 in a month

I now see a psychologist

Good night 😴 

‘But I don’t feel like we are getting anywhere, I started last September 

[DesertSchmezert]

Hi Chezza,

I'm sure a lot of people online are willing to hear what you would like to offload. I'm glad that you are seeing a psychologist now. Just remember that I am not a professional, just a fellow Australian online, so I can't give professional advice.

[mmMekitty]

Hello Chezza,

I have found it is helpful to write. I did a lot of writing it all out when (more than 30 years ago - I'm almost 67),  my strategy of denying every memory & emotion I could suddenly began to fail me. I felt forced to deal with my past. But then, I didn't trust anyone until I'd been with a psychiatrist for 2.5 years & was surpised when he said he was leaving for another city interstate. I realised I had begun to trust him & understood I needed to talk, to have someone to respond to what i said. Writing things down for only me to see didn't do that.

I've been talking with this latest psychiatrist for more than a decade. I have eventually trusted myself & him to treat everything I talk about with respect. HE respects professional boundaries, too. Still, it's not always easy, nor comfortable. In the end, when I have finally said things i've been holding back I feel better for having taken the risk of opening up.

You are certainly welcome to write here, on BB, & if you want, to akk for the kind of response you would feel most comfortable with. If it's an ear, or words of encouragement, advice, or answers to questions - members may be able to help you. & oddly enough, I found trying to answer some posts here has helped me to think about my own stuff. It's like when I write to someone else, I'm also writing back to myself, but from another perspective.

One thing I can say right now is that over the years of dealing with my own past, is that even the years of dealing has changed my perspective on my past. I'm also more able to stop & review what I'm thinking & feeling now. I have thought my simply being so much older now has helped me with that. & also necessary was my accepting that what happened did happen & no amount of wishing it away will make the events of my past not to have happened. 

I'm not getting around the forums so much now, but I did want to reach out & say "Hello", because I didn't come across your posts of last year. If you've reading what member say here on BB, all over BB, you may have noticed the good will & generous support members offer to other members.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty    

[mmMekitty]

Oh, I forgot - the emotional eating... I know I do that too.  Very many people do that. I know that doesn't help you with your own emotional eating. & I still don't have a good strategy for dealing with my own. Mostly, i try to remind myself about my goal of eating more healthily, primarally for the sake of my own health. It's in my own best interest, it's a healthy sort of selfishness, to look after yourself. The risks to my own health increase with every unhealthy choice i make. It's tough, & I don't always succeed. &, importantly, going crook on myself won't help me either. So, being kind, but firm, always encouraging & looking for other changes I can make when food shopping or out having lunc, is a priority for me.

As is getting exercise. Not so easy either. 

But as it's said in the L'oriel ads "Because you're worth it". 

I feel I'm still learning that.

Good night with hugzies,

mmMekitty