I need help, please

[Clare2]

Hi, I need help..

i don't no what to do

ive had depression since I was in year 7, trying to find who I was was really hard, I had learning difficulties but I didn't have a select group, I was friends with everyone in my year.

then year 9 came and I saw myself being more rebellious and would lie heaps with my mum.

year 11 and 12 came and I did VCAL because I couldn't see myself getting through VCE. I mixed in with the wrong group and started doing drugs and drinking heaps, I lost all of my friends because of one night I took drugs and ended up on the bathroom floor of a club unconscious.

after school I hung out with my sister because I had no one I met one of her friends and I then had a boyfriend for 4 years so I wasn't lonely but then I was because he mentally abused me by cheating on me constantly so I had self doubt because I didn't think I was good enough.

we broke up got back together broke up and then finally I cut him out of my life I went over seas to America and it was amazing I loved it I met so many people and then I came home poor and back to how things where before.

I worked so hard and then had enough and moved for the snow season, loved that and met a girl that I liked she was seeing someone while seeing me and chose her over me when we left to go back to our life's. I met one her friends and her friend liked me we where best friends but I couldn't give her what she wanted I had depression again and went on medication for it I joined the gym and tried to get fit I then worked heaps but always got put down at work so that was bad too then saved up enough and went to Europe was was amazing I loved it met great people found myself and was just loving life..

Then I was raped and my life was over, it was someone I knew that I trusted..

i got a boyfriend for the wrong reasons we never really had sex he didn't get it, but kept saying he did, we broke up I met a girl that I loved and made me happy and had a connection with I felt safe and could actually have sex with, she doesn't want a relationship because she came out of one and didn't want to be tied down to anything..i was broken and now I'm in a rut I don't do anything I just have melt downs and I don't know what to do because everything I try do is to scared to because what happens if I'm noticed by guys if I look to sexual I don't want to be looked at.

im on anti depressants and there not helping..

i need help to be happy again

[MarkJT]

Clare, firstly i have to say that you one seriously tough and resilient person. To be what you have been through and still marching on, wow. So much respect and admiration.

I can relate to some of what you have posted about being a PTSD, depression and anxiety sufferer but could not fathom what it is like to be raped.

I am so super impressed that you cut the ex boyfriend out of your life. As human beings are very much like sheep and follow the same thing time and time again, you made a decision that was really healthy for you. Do you actually know and feel just how much courage and strength it takes to make a decision like that? You put yourself first and that was simply brilliant. Toxic relationships are exactly that, toxic and you took care of it. Well done.

You have accomplished so many great things in your life (not everyone does that) that are surrounded by some poor decisions (everyone does that) and some illegal acts against you. You could easily take the decision to stay in bed all day, neglect yourself and waste away your life, BUT you have not done that. You have have made the excellent decision to come to the forums and tell us your story and open up - again monstrous amounts of courage. Well done, again taking control of your life. Love it.

Okay so, the meds are not working. Have you gone back to the GP or psych and discussed this? If not, get this done. Finding the right type and dosage of meds can sometimes take a few goes so find that one that is good for you.

How is your diet?

Do you exercise much?

Do you practise mindfulness?

I think that is enough questions for now. Please post back and lets see if we can get you smiling and living again.

Again, you may not recognise this but you are one seriously tough woman, use that inner strength, you have heaps of it.

Mark.

[MsPurple]

Hi Clare and welcome to the BB forums and community 🙂

Wow MarkJT has offered some great advice. What a gem 🙂

I just wanted to add onto parts of what Mark already touched on. In terms of medication I was in a similar boat. I felt like I was doing all the right things (such as not drinking much or often, doing self care, going to therapy etc) but it wasn't really working. At the time I had to see a new psych because I moved states and I discussed how I was concerned the medications weren't working. I told her how I had been feeling and how i felt like meds were better then ground zero, but if this was happiness and 'normality' then it still sucked. She finally listened and together we decided to give another medication a try. I had to come off my old meds and on no medication for around 2 weeks before starting my new ones (not going into brands or types but they both had a common ingredient in them so couldn't do them at the same time and needed a washout period). That was a tough time for me, but I had support of my psychologist, psychiatrist and family (and I was still able to work). But once we changed the meds, it did take some time to get the dosage right. But I am glad I stuck with it. I feel better and like I am on the right path. I don't think that it sucks anymore. Yes it does take time to swap meds and get it right but it is worth it if that is what you and the doctor thinks it is best.

As for healthy eating, it is very important for maintaining mental and physical health. If you don't feel well physically (you know what I mean, remember a time you had too much junk food and you felt sluggish and yuck) then you won't feel well mentally. I try follow the Australian dietary guidelines. You can visit a government website called eatforhealth. It is made by professionals who follow nutritional best practice. You can also see a dietitian if you have any concerns regarding you eating and nutrition (can also ask for a referral from your doctor or for their opinion on it).

As Mark said resilient and courageous.

MP

[startingnew]

HI clare

firslty welcome to the forums

youve had it quite
rough I can see that from what you have written here.

I was raped and it
went on for months so I get how your feeling about all of this. Im
here to talk about anything you like too.

The others here have
offered some great advice.

I too would really
recommend you seeing your gp and discuss with them that you feel your
medications arent working.





Do you have a
psychiatrist- these speacilaise in these sorts of medications so
maybe you could ask to be refferred to one ?




Also do you see a
psychologist to help discuss your emotions and thoughts? If not id
recommend you seeing one too. Your gp can refer you to one and also
give you a mental health care plan