PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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startingnew carers guilt and grief
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone So i was a carer for my nan for about 2 yrs maybe more and we were really close ans when i began caring for her became closer who passed away two years ago now. . I wasnt really able to grieve at the time as i was tyring to hold my pop wh... View more

Hi everyone So i was a carer for my nan for about 2 yrs maybe more and we were really close ans when i began caring for her became closer who passed away two years ago now. . I wasnt really able to grieve at the time as i was tyring to hold my pop whom im now a carer for my mum together and making sure everyone needs were met. im having so many regrets about what i should have done whati should have said what i should have changed. I feel selfish alot of the time because every now and then i would go out with a friend and i really regret it now. My nan had many illnesses including cancer so i went to all of her appointments and made sure she was ok. It hurts me everyday. I miss her so much. I get alot of flash back esp of the year before like Christmas and birthdays easter and all the rest of the occasions. She was in a wheelchair and home oxygen 24/7 as she had bad lungs from copd. So it did make it hard for her to go out when she was getting worse I get flashbacks of the night i stayed at their house and i heard my pop completley break down and found my nan slumped in the wheelchair in the bathroom as thats how she got around She was so weak and couldnt even hold herself up so i had to while calling am ambulance calling my who was 10 min drive away and help pop keep it together. It hurts me every single day. I also have the last memory of my nan in the hospital amd as i was leaving she gave me a little smile and a wave and off we went. She died 2am that next morning.

Clare2 I need help, please
  • replies: 3

Hi, I need help.. i don't no what to do ive had depression since I was in year 7, trying to find who I was was really hard, I had learning difficulties but I didn't have a select group, I was friends with everyone in my year. then year 9 came and I s... View more

Hi, I need help.. i don't no what to do ive had depression since I was in year 7, trying to find who I was was really hard, I had learning difficulties but I didn't have a select group, I was friends with everyone in my year. then year 9 came and I saw myself being more rebellious and would lie heaps with my mum. year 11 and 12 came and I did VCAL because I couldn't see myself getting through VCE. I mixed in with the wrong group and started doing drugs and drinking heaps, I lost all of my friends because of one night I took drugs and ended up on the bathroom floor of a club unconscious. after school I hung out with my sister because I had no one I met one of her friends and I then had a boyfriend for 4 years so I wasn't lonely but then I was because he mentally abused me by cheating on me constantly so I had self doubt because I didn't think I was good enough. we broke up got back together broke up and then finally I cut him out of my life I went over seas to America and it was amazing I loved it I met so many people and then I came home poor and back to how things where before. I worked so hard and then had enough and moved for the snow season, loved that and met a girl that I liked she was seeing someone while seeing me and chose her over me when we left to go back to our life's. I met one her friends and her friend liked me we where best friends but I couldn't give her what she wanted I had depression again and went on medication for it I joined the gym and tried to get fit I then worked heaps but always got put down at work so that was bad too then saved up enough and went to Europe was was amazing I loved it met great people found myself and was just loving life.. Then I was raped and my life was over, it was someone I knew that I trusted.. i got a boyfriend for the wrong reasons we never really had sex he didn't get it, but kept saying he did, we broke up I met a girl that I loved and made me happy and had a connection with I felt safe and could actually have sex with, she doesn't want a relationship because she came out of one and didn't want to be tied down to anything..i was broken and now I'm in a rut I don't do anything I just have melt downs and I don't know what to do because everything I try do is to scared to because what happens if I'm noticed by guys if I look to sexual I don't want to be looked at. im on anti depressants and there not helping.. i need help to be happy again

highlysensitivepersonhsp Coming to terms with my life
  • replies: 14

Recently, I had my 54th birthday. I realise that I have reached middle age. It is a far cry from where I had hoped to be by now. It got me thinking, what went wrong with my life? Where do I begin? My sense of self and my ability to concentrate were d... View more

Recently, I had my 54th birthday. I realise that I have reached middle age. It is a far cry from where I had hoped to be by now. It got me thinking, what went wrong with my life? Where do I begin? My sense of self and my ability to concentrate were damaged through child abuse in my youth. I was only an average student at school. My parenting and my education did not prepare me for what I would encounter in the world. I was naive about people and the effects the system can have on you. But I took responsibility for myself and started to work on my mind and my future. After a low level career as a public servant I realised that I wanted to become a psychologist so I enrolled in a course at uni. It proved to be my undoing. While studying I fell victim to intense and intrusive harassment. I was assaulted psychologically. The effects were disastrous. I was unable to continue my studies and was forced from my home. The perpetrators of my demise are still a part of my life. They are authority figures who intimidate me into believing that there is something inherently wrong with me. They imply that they are not trying to harm me, but their treatment has caused me nothing but harm. Every facet of my life has been adversely affected by them. I am now a disabled pensioner without a soul in the world. As I see it, the situation is helpless. They are my enemy, not my ally. I don't want their treatment. I don't want to be their guinea pig. I feel helpless, powerless, and worthless. I do not have what it takes to do battle with them. Meanwhile I continue to suffer while doing what I can to help myself cope. Many of us are victims of a vastly inadequate system. We never reach our potential or have a life that is worthwhile. I will continue to be desperate and lonely. Praying for mercy. For an end to the suffering before my old age. Mine has been a wasted life. Serving no purpose. A loser in a game I cannot win. The perpetrators delude themselves that they are right. I know who is inherently wrong. The truth will die with me one day in the not so distant future. My life has been an injustice, from beginning to end. Sandra

summerdays Family hurts, but I want it so bad
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I am having a bit of a rough time. I've come to realise that I have C-PTSD and I am learning about how this has happened, and why. My attachment with my Mum was screwed. She no doubt had CPTSD when I was growing up due to my dad being vi... View more

Hi everyone, I am having a bit of a rough time. I've come to realise that I have C-PTSD and I am learning about how this has happened, and why. My attachment with my Mum was screwed. She no doubt had CPTSD when I was growing up due to my dad being violent, and then his suicide when I was 8. We still do not have a good relationship and it hurts. I know she wants it, and I want it, but we are both too damaged to let each other into our hearts. One of my brothers died by suicide many years ago, and my remaining brother and I are/were/try to be very close. To cut a long story short, my Mum and brother are triggers for me and I do not enjoy their company. I really really want to, and I love them very much but I am on edge and scared and I can see their pain behind their masks and it cuts me so deep. We are planning on catching up for Xmas and a significant birthday and as much as I want to see them, I don't want to. I feel so sad because I live close to my partners family and they are a close and lovely family but I just feel like such an outsider. I so deeply want a connection with my family and yet I can't see it happening. I am opening up the past because it is controlling me and I need to deal with what happened throughout my childhood (The brother who died was violent and we lived in constant fear). I fear that my Mum and brother will not be supportive or ready to face what has happened and so I feel like I am on my own with this. I am a mother of 2 now, and my C-PTS is going to be passed onto my children, so I need and want to heal and recover. I know it is possible but I feel so alone. And sad. I don't know which treatment will be best for me. I am interested in body based stuff, and art but I feel like I am facing a big mountain trek and I am scared. Thanks for listening

Motorhome My daughter told me she has been sexually abused by her Father 
  • replies: 14

My world changed on the 20th May when my daughter told me she has been sexually abused by her Father from 10 to 16. The man who was my world. He had a breakdown 10 years ago and can't remember anything about the abuse when I confronted him. He attemp... View more

My world changed on the 20th May when my daughter told me she has been sexually abused by her Father from 10 to 16. The man who was my world. He had a breakdown 10 years ago and can't remember anything about the abuse when I confronted him. He attempted suicide, was unsuccessful, now has brain damage, as yet not known how much. I am with my daughter continuously while the man who meant everything to me sits alone in hospital. The mixed feelings are a nightmare.

Odie1981 My blood family is my least support
  • replies: 3

Hey guys. I have been feeling the anxiety really hit me hard lately and I was directed here. Here is my story. Since October I have had so much lOSS it is now finally hitting home. First my father in law pasked away from natural causes and not long a... View more

Hey guys. I have been feeling the anxiety really hit me hard lately and I was directed here. Here is my story. Since October I have had so much lOSS it is now finally hitting home. First my father in law pasked away from natural causes and not long after my mother's partner I have known for twenty years. I separated with my partner of 10 years. Although we still get along well it was a big change. On new years day my 6 year old son accidentally lit a fire in my car (no one was harmed) so I was down to public transport for 5 months. Then the worst of all happened when my 9 1/2 months old son passed away after drowning in a bath tub at my ex partners boyfriends house on the 03/03/2017. The time was 4.50 pm. Ten minutes before he was meant to be coming to my house for the weekend again. As you could understand I was distraught. I had very good help from my co-workers and friends. Even my ex partners family were very supportive towards me. What really killed me even more was when the funeral was meant to happen I was told that my sister may not make it because of a holliday she was booked to go on and my own father might not because he had to work. The date was changed and they did make it but neither wanted to see his body. Which meant in his short life my father never saw his grandson even once. Now I need help most of all but the only time I hear from my family is because of something I have done wrong yet again. Even though I do not touch drugs. Always at work without fail. And I love my other kids dearly. Sorry about the blabbering btw. Just wanted to get ithe off my chest. In no way do I want to harm myself or anyone else but I do know I need help

lisa1987 Anxiety
  • replies: 3

Hi I'm new here just checking it out

Hi I'm new here just checking it out

mof4 Newbie full time single mum
  • replies: 8

Hi Im a full time single mum of 4 (teens, pre teen and under10) I have ADHD, anxiety, depression, ptsd and mild paranoia issues. My kids also have mental health issues #1 ADHD, mild autism, depression and anxiety #2 Aspergers, #3 and #4 depression an... View more

Hi Im a full time single mum of 4 (teens, pre teen and under10) I have ADHD, anxiety, depression, ptsd and mild paranoia issues. My kids also have mental health issues #1 ADHD, mild autism, depression and anxiety #2 Aspergers, #3 and #4 depression and anxiety. A lot of the younger 2 issues are from DV (we are 18m free) and due to the inconsistency of their father in the past and that we are 2-3 years into family court proceedings. Iv been doing it mostly on my own from a young age including being a teen mum. My oldest didn't see his dad mum till he went to live with him for a few years and this has created a lot of issues with him now (moved back home 16m ago). I don't work due to my health (mental and physical injury) I don't have much family that care or help my friends just push me away a lot so I'm alone most of the time other then the kids. I did start having a bit more of a social life till recently now I don't even have my friends to talk too. I don't know what to do anymore my boys are abusive to me I have done so many parenting courses and asked for help but nothing has worked. I'm finding my self so angry with everyone and everything ATM as my kids have mentally drained me. I just wish I could pack up my kids and leave all the stress behind and start a new life away from the town that my abusers and ex lives as I know it would help.

Concerned_Sister My brother is in an abusive relationship
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. My brother is in an abusive relationship. His wife hits him and she locks herself in a room for hours refusing to do anything. Last week she threw herself out of a moving car during an argument regarding how she doesn't think she is good... View more

Hi everyone. My brother is in an abusive relationship. His wife hits him and she locks herself in a room for hours refusing to do anything. Last week she threw herself out of a moving car during an argument regarding how she doesn't think she is good enough for him. He is trying to handle it privately but it is getting worse because he blames himself for it even though he is utterly doting; he has had to leave work early on numerous occasions to go to her when she "loses it" and I don't think him doing this is actually helping the situation. It stems from insecurities but I think she is suffering from a disorder although she has not been diagnosed. She tells him that if he talks to me (his sister- we are very close just 18 months apart) and his Mother, that he is betraying her and shaming her so he won't contact me or my mum. He rang me secretly to ask me not to message him because she checks his messages. It is so dangerous, I want to help but I don't want to make it worse. Any advice on how to handle the situation? My mum and I have tried messaging him about mundane things like the new plant in the garden but he won't reply for ages and then panic reply while she is out. He believes he is protecting her by not talking to us but this is so unhealthy. We are trying to get him to persuade her to go to a psychiatrist but don't know how to go about it. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.

Buda Grief, not nice
  • replies: 11

Hi there, hello......yeah I'm new. I'm okay just lonely and sad, I don't really have any words, just man tears and a wounded soul. My wife died of cancer 5 weeks ago, we have two teenage daughters, 18 and 14. I use to think grief was something one pa... View more

Hi there, hello......yeah I'm new. I'm okay just lonely and sad, I don't really have any words, just man tears and a wounded soul. My wife died of cancer 5 weeks ago, we have two teenage daughters, 18 and 14. I use to think grief was something one passed through, but I now realise it's part of the new you, it's there forever whether invited or not. I also use to be a pretty normal, happy guy, I just turned 50 on the weekend and have a great bunch of friends. We had the perfect family and the 4 of us did everything together. My friends in the main leave me alone, because I apparently need time and space, but while everyone gets back to normal, I'm still here redefining reality. I get it, this is my bag, nobody elses. She was only diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago, rare, aggressive, untreatable. Small pea lump in saliva gland, which basically spread throughout her body. So yes, we're all devo, the 3 of us in particular, but also our friends. Life sucks sometimes. Like I said, I'm just sad. I'm hear just to talk and share. Please to meet you!