Hi Pip ... welcome to the Forums and I too thank you for trusting us enough to share your story with us. The Forums are a secure place for you to discuss issues with fellow MH sufferers. The Forums are moderated to ensure our continued safety and anonymity.
I am quite frankly astounded that your psychiatrist has tried to compare you to other clients, and by so doing making you feel guilty for her own failings. Of course it is not your fault if you are not progressing at a rate that she considers is appropriate. No two people react the same way to a certain medication or treatments. She definitely shows a distinct lack of professionalism, to say the least!
On the other hand, are you happy with and feel comfortable with your psychologist? Perhaps in the short term you may be better off just seeing the psychologist and next time you need a medication review, ask your GP for a referral to a new psychiatrist.
Have you undergone any specific PTSD therapy with your psychologist yet? If not, has it been discussed for the future? As you would be aware there are a number of different therapies which are known to be very successful in treating PTSD - namely CBT, Exposure Therapy and EMDR. Perhaps you could ask your psychologist about them if you havent already, and ask if they would be appropriate for you.
I feel sure that you are not doing anything wrong Pip. With PTSD there are deep seated issues and emotions which are incredibly hard to overcome. I also am diagnosed with PTSD, resulting from a sexual assault some years ago. I also experience the trauma of ongoing Domestic Abuse. These things take a toll on us, there is no question about that.
I still experience nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks, but to a lesser extent since I've had some targeted therapy. Try to identify what your main triggers are. Has your psychologist explained any methods of helping you get through them? If not, can I suggest you google "grounding techniques". It is a method I personally find very helpful when waking from nightmares or experiencing flashbacks. Grounding helps to bring you back to the present and to keep you in touch with reality. I could explain a few examples of how, but its probably best you look it up, or ask your psychologist for advice.
No two people are the same Pip, so please dont compare yourself to anybody else. It was very wrong of your psychiatrist to do so. You have the desire to recover, and you can. Happy to talk more.
Taurus
