My daughter told me she has been sexually abused by her Father

[Motorhome]

My world changed on the 20th May when my daughter told me she has been sexually abused by her Father from 10 to 16. The man who was my world. He had a breakdown 10 years ago and can't remember anything about the abuse when I confronted him. He attempted suicide, was unsuccessful, now has brain damage, as yet not known how much. I am with my daughter continuously while the man who meant everything to me sits alone in hospital. The mixed feelings are a nightmare.

[citizen]

Dear Motorhome, I just read your post and am so sorry to hear news, Its been a horrible experience for all of you.rest assured now you posted this. exprerienced people here will respond to your post very very soon with suggestion and information and referral to expert service that available should you wish to go that. there are people through their unfortunate experiences will able guide and support. I will say the important thing is the safety and well being of both you and your daughter. i now from personal experience that the beyond blue telephone service is 24hr and confidential. for me I will not attempt to guide getting in such tragic matters. your message will unnoticed. there are many good and confidetnial services available to help you process this tragedy.be gentle with yourself and your daughter I wish well. Citizen

[Croix]

Dear Motorhome~

I'm terribly sorry to hear of your plight. I could not imagine anything worse.

The first thing to ask is how you and your daughter are doing? It is really too big a thing to process or react to all at once. I'm concerned that the two of you, plus any other family members are being supported and looked after right now. At the person al level do you have anybody? Family, parents, friends?

You do not have to go into any detail here, I would imagine you would have had to talk to doctors, at least in relation to your husband trying to take his life. On a practical level he is under care at the moment and you and your daughter are very vulnerable and at risk. You basically need professional care.This is both for your physical and mental well-being.

Such matters are right outside our normal experiences, we have no guide or past to help us cope, or even to know what to think.

As a first step may I ask you to ring out 24/7 help line on 1300 22 4636 please and talk to our competent and caring professionals there. My apologies if you have already done this or similar.

With something as life-shattering as this all anyone can do is take each thing one step at a time, leaning on more experienced professionals to help you though.

Please seek support and let us know how you go.

Croix

[white knight]

Hi motorhome

Citizen and Criox have responded with information and support.

Life, it can hurt and crumble your safety zone in an instant. What is going to help you get thru this period? Faith?

Faith in yourself is a start. A diffucult thing to project is to imagine life in 3,5,10 years from now. To look back and say to yourself and living family members "I got thru it with faith in myself "

Many of us have been confronted by huge events that have rocked us. Each are unique and devastating. We have to dig really deep to pull out our endurance that will be tested. In the end it will be worth your effort.

At the same time the unique position you find yourself does, as Criox pointed out, demands professional help and care. Many of us need a helping hand to clarify our feelings, to help us make our decisions and to figure out how we can help others effected.

I hope that help. We are a friendly bunch hete. Post anytime.

Ps. Here is a few threads that might help woth your determination I'm hoping you'll find. Use google

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: what life can be like at the end of the tunnel- beyondblue

Topic: planning a healthier mind- beyondblue

Tony WK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Motorhome,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here.

I appreciate you reaching out to us and it sounds like it's an incredibly hard time for you. I can only imagine the mixed feelings and I'm sorry you're in that situation. I am glad though that your husband is safe (and alive) and that your daughter did trust and have the courage to reach out to you.

As you know we are a community of support; so while we can be here to chat I'm wondering how helpful we can be for you. You have a big weight on your shoulders right now and I can see that; but I think in order to try and process and work through it it might be helpful to go and see a therapist. That way you're seeing a trained professional who can really try and work through these feelings and make a plan step by step. I hope that you'll consider seeing one.

[Starwolf]

Good to meet you, Motorhome though I wish it would be in easier circumstances.

You are coping with many issues happening on different fronts. No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed...my heart goes out to you.

As victim of abuse myself (physical, emotional, sexual), I am well aware it is a trauma that shakes the very foundations of someone's inner world. Particularly when it has been ongoing over a period of years. Your daughter will need to be monitored by a therapist who specializes in the aftermath of abuse. We are not in a position to refer you to anyone in particular but you will find useful info top left of this page in the Get Support section.

It seems that your husband is now being looked after and in the best place for him at this point in time.

I can't begin to imagine the chaos of conflicting feelings and emotions assailing you. Please make sure your own needs are taken care of too. You would benefit from professional advice and support. There is a lot resting on your shoulders. Leaving your own concerns on the back burner too long could easily cause burn out to set in. I'd suggest you check the Caring from someone section (top left of this page too), including the Looking after yourself part.

Carers Australia would be helpful (1800 242 636). Copying this link into your browser will access online contact :

https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/

I'm here for you if you wish to talk.

[Motorhome]

Thankyou so much for your support

[Motorhome]

Thankyou so much for your thoughts, I am at the moment helping my daughter through this, she is getting councilling and once I have got her back on track I will seek some help as you advise. Thankyou for thoughts.

[Motorhome]

I'm so sorry I should have said also I have good friends supporting me, I am very blessed in that department.

[Motorhome]

Thankyou so much for this information.