I’m Happy but I want to be left alone.

[worldcitizen1919]

I want advice on how to cut contact with family members (in name only) for their cruel treatment and I want nothing to do anymore with them and have told them not to visit or call. Yet they don’t respect my wish and keep contacting me. How do I get it through to them? I suffer from post traumatic stress and they are deliberately cruel to me emotionally so I want to distance myself and disassociate from them as it only makes my pst flare up. It’s not about forgiveness but justice.

How to best get rid of these people with the least fuss? Thanks for any ideas in advance. I’m all for family unity if the intentions are sincere and both ways but in this case its one way traffic.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It is obvious you have considered these family members as toxic for some time so I won’t pressurise you to justify your decision. Indeed I got rid of my hurtful mother 10 years ago

ok, if you find these people too disruptive and cruel, you can obtain a court order stopping all contact. That, in most cases is extreme (eg my mother threatened to ruin my second wedding in 2011 having ruined the first in 1985.) Attend a court for an application. You’ll need to fill it out, it is then sent to the person and a date for a hearing is set. If successful you’ll be asked how long the order length is wanted, often 12 months.

So common methods is - don’t answer their door knock, send them a nice but firm letter, send them a solicitors letter outlining boundaries, block them on social media etc

Reply anytime

TonyWK

[worldcitizen1919]

Thanks Tony. I thank you for your advice. I’ll take all suggestions into consideration. This is a useful suggestion should worse come to worse. Of course good relations is far preferable but not always possible.

[SarahZ]

Hi worldcitizen1919,

Thanks for the reaching out. It definitely sounds like a distressing and complicated situation to be in. Often we associate family members as the ones promoting our mental health; however, sometimes they can also be the instigators of our poor health. I can't confidently say I can give much solid advice here, but have you thought about a mutual person (who both sides are somewhat close with) who can relay this information to them? Maybe having someone act as a mediator to get both parties sentiments across with minimal fuss might work? that way you don't have to directly deal with any attacks.

Just know that we are here to talk if you feel up to it.

Wishing you all the best.

[Tangney]

Hi worldcitizen1919, in the past, when I was trying to cut someone off, I changed my phone number and got a new email address. This also allowed me to give the new details only to those that I chose to give them to. It worked for me.

[Pete66]

Turn on the lawn sprinklers

[josh1245]

hey worldcitzen1919 I would like to welcome you to this wonderful online community and I would also like to applaud your strength and courage in asking for help. removing yourself from a negative environment and people is really hard especially if their family but I believe its the right thing to do. I have had similar experiences removing myself from my negative father it was hard but it was worth it.

hope all is well in the future

regards josh

[worldcitizen1919]

Thanks for everyone’s support and comments. I’m happy with the way things are progressing. We lead different lives so our paths don’t cross all that much which works out very well. I graduated on Saturday and had a lot of my friends attend. Thank you all for being there when I needed support.