I’m a victim of image based abuse and I feel really upset and alone.

[PinkDiamonds25]

I’m a female in my mid 30s.

I have children of my own.

I was in an unhealthy relationship for many years.

I had children with this person.

During the relationship there were a lot of red flags that I should have payed more attention to but somehow ignored. A year or two into the relationship he had sexual intercourse with me whilst I was asleep. He didn’t physically hurt me but there definitely wasn’t consent.

a year or so later I woke up to him a similar incident involving my face.

Near the end of the relationship I woke up to him taking photos of me and touching me whilst I was sleeping.

I was upset after each of these situations, we broke up shortly after the last one.

A few years after we broke up (so fairly recently) I was looking at some digital photos he had given me and found a folder full of photos and videos he had taken of me whilst sleeping without consent.

In some of them he’s touching me intimately.
min some of them he’s moved my clothing to get a better “shot”. He’s also recorded us having sex without my knowledge or consent. Even though these photos were taken a few years ago and we have since broken up, I still feel really upset about it and violated. 
Some of these photos were taken at the beginning of the relationship and others were taken at the end of it so this has happened on a lot of occasions and has occurred over a long time.

Ive searched online to see if I could connect with someone else who has been through a similar experience but can’t seem to find anyone?

surely I’m not the only person this has happened to? I know that it’s illegal to take photos like this without someone’s consent but most of the info I can find focuses on the nonconsensual “sharing” of intimate images and says nothing about nonconsensual “taking of photos”.

The ex and I did sometimes send consensual nudes to each other throughout the relationship but this feels completely different due to the violation of trust and privacy surrounding these photos/videos.

I feel really hurt. My self esteem is affected. I feel like this has affected my self value negatively.

I don’t know what to do about it from here. I don’t know if I would be taken seriously if I reported it? I’m worried that my ex would just lie and say that they were consensual if I report it?

I feel so betrayed and disgusting.

[Finding_Courage]

Thanks for being strong, brave women and speaking up. There’s a disgusting website I’ve come across recently in my own case of image-based abuse. Gold members can share files across other hosting platforms so once a picture or video is out there, it can go anywhere. This behaviour needs to stop! There’s a culture of men out there who secretly share private images of their girlfriends, wives, colleagues and strangers on this page and it breaks my heart how many victims there are out there. 
Women do not deserve to be disrespected and used like this! I am beyond angry that our government can block us citizens from accessing a vape website, or a sex offender register, but stuff like this is not blocked. Something needs to be done because this is blatantly available abuse for free viewing by anyone. 
Once I’m over my trauma and grief, and hopefully when my filth of an ex is in jail I am going to campaign to fight for change.