I have complex PTSD. The last few months I seem to be stuck in 'fight or flight' mode.

[Relic_Girl]

I have complex PTSD. The last few months I seem to be stuck in 'fight or flight' mode. Many flashbacks, visual, emotional, physical. The littlest things are difficult to cope with. I start the day with what feels like my cup 90% full. Not wanting to go on is a common feeling/thought. Lonely place to be. I do have a mental health worker and have seen a trauma counsellor once - waiting on further appointments to be scheduled. Had a good GP but he's left and no-one else is available in my small town. I am rambling. I am very proactive and compliant doing all sorts of techniques - grounding, mindfulness, breathing, distraction etc etc. I'm still working and fulfilling what needs to be done in my life. But it's getting harder and harder and I'm getting tired and more tired and more hopeless and feel as if I try and try and nothing is changing. I don't know what I'm asking. I'm doing all the "things". I enact my safety plan - call suicide call back service, lifeline. Come away feeling more hopeless. It's hard to get through 5 minutes sometimes. Again I don't know what I'm asking. I seek assistance and there seems no more answers and I'm stuck in this place that is dark and dangerous and lonely. Sorry for such a negative post. It's really normally not me and I normally don't share or put myself out there. 

[Eagle Ray]

That is so true Relic Girl. It can be hard to see an end to an emotional state when in it, but they do pass at some point. Being able to sit with and ‘be’ with the emotion is often what finally allows the emotion to rest, so to speak. I remember being at a talk by a Buddhist monk where he spoke of everything always being in flux, that idea of impermanence. It helps to accept the ups and downs of life.

Take good care,

ER

[Juniensein]

I can totally relate to feeling stuck in a rut sometimes, but remember, even the smallest steps forward count. Have you considered reaching out to a therapist or counselor for some extra support? They can provide coping strategies and a safe space to process your emotions.

[Fiatlux]

Hi Relic_girl,

ER’s last post reminded me of a wonderful website that I would read for help and guidance called 'lionsroar'

There are some wonderful articles about healing trauma.

There are articles and lessons on just about everything. Give it a look at as it has helped me.

Fiatlux 🙏🏼

[Relic_Girl]

Thank you so much for thinking of me. I have saved it. It looks wonderful. I'll slowly digest over the next little while. 

[Fiatlux]

You are very welcome…

The Dalai Lama famously said, “My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” If kindness is so radical that it can define someone’s entire spirituality, then it has to be more than a good deed.