I am haunted from a past childhood experience of being made to feel excluded, who do I talk to?

[Jan_D]

Lately I have been haunted by a repressed childhood memory of me being made to feel excluded  where  I was forced to stay home while parents took my siblings somewhere at night one time. It has undermined my trust with my parents and siblings, the love I had for them. It now haunts me to this day and I have nowhere to talk about it. Being the 2nd child I also noticed my mum always treated me differently from my siblings where she clearly didn’t love me which also hurts me to this day. I cannot put it out in words to show how much this has hurt me recently.

i have also been giving my own mum the silent treatment for over 3 years now which was something I did not want to do but did because keeping the relationship would only hurt more me more if I kept up with the relationship.

[Croix]

Dear Jan_D~

Welcome here to the Forum, I hpe you can find others here that have had to cope the the same favoritism. It is a pretty devastating one and obviously you still feel deeply about it. Parents  have a huge influence for good or ill.

The Relationships area might be a good starting point to look for others.

While I can quote understand you keeping away from your mum, it seems a good thing to do on the  face of it. I guess there might be two problems wiht that strategy though.

The first is you are still hurting after three years, so separation probably has not been as effective as you hoped.

The other thing is it leaves things 'frozen in time' with no possibility of change. While it might be a very difficult thing to do could you break the ice and talk to your mother about the problem? Things could work out badly that's true, however they may lead to a better understanding between the two of you.

Do you think this might be an option?

Croix

[Blackberry_rose]

Hey,

I'm 18 I have been trying to cut off my mother for the same reason plus many other reasons, 

I know it hurts. I don't wanna Compare our pasts but you have every right to give her silent treatment her being your parent doesn't excuse the neglect and hurt you have been and are pulling through, and I support you unconditionally, I hope your ok. You got this, I know it's rough but your gonna be ok. 🖤 Please pull through