Humiliated

[G12345]

I feel emotionally humiliated because of my history of sexual abuse and I sometimes feel like I deserved what happened to me as an innocent child why I wasn't believed is why I blame i don't understand what I did to deserve a life where I don't feel free can anybody relate.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear G12345,

Im deeply sorry that you went through childhood sexual abuse....Like you I also went through it with my eldest brother for 3 years...I was an innocent child and it destroyed my self...terribly..

One thing that is most important is to stop blaming you..you didn’t ask for it..you couldn’t stop it..and most definitely you didn’t deserve it....There is no reason at all Lovely G12345 that you should feel pain or embarrassment...I understand how hard it is not feel these things...A lovely counsellor help me to to get over all those feeling associated with my childhood sexual abuse...I’m wondering if you are seeing professionals to help you?...Please G12345..if your not I really do urge you to reach out to your GP...for help..so he/she can get some professional help for you..usually a mental health Care Plan, will be started for you...Please try hard to reach out to your GP..for help...

I went from childhood sexual assault onto DV and sexual assault...I had a full life of it...since my husband has passed away..I have reached out for help to my GP..who was so understanding and started up a mhcp for me....it really does help to talk to a professional about your fears, thoughts, feeling etc....I am still under counselling for DV..and starting to realise..that it was not my fault...I stayed married for 38 years..to afraid to leave him....

The pain and hurt....embarrassment and shame stays deep in our soul and needs to be released...By talking to a professional who is trained in these sorts of things can be a big help....

When those horrible thoughts come back to you..Please try to distract them by talking to someone..we have a fantastic 24/7 phone counselling line here..1300 22 4636...there are very caring trained counsellors , that can help you talk through your fears, feeling and thoughts...If you can..lovely G12345..I gently urge you to give them a ring...if you need to...

Here for you dear G12345, Talk here anytime you feel like it..

My kindest and most caring thoughts...

Grandy..

[G12345]

I still feel like I deserved it because I let it happen to me

[Ggrand]

Hello G12345,

You’re not at fault,,lovely G...You are the victim..You are innocent...It’s your abuser who is at fault...

If a friend of yours came and told you that she was abused when younger...What would you say to her?...

No one deserves to be sexually abused...

As you said in your previous post..you were an innocent child...and the abuser knew that and possible that he/she would get away with it....My abuser did..as I wasn’t believed also....I hurt many years believing that it was my fault...How could it be..I didn’t ask to be abused..I was a small child and was not strong enough to stop someone that was much stronger and older then me....

Please lovely G12345...It took me over 50 years to reach out for help...until I did it kept festering in my soul...Are you able to reach out to your GP..or a close family member or friend? ...

My kindest and most caring thoughts....always lovely G..

Grandy..

[G12345]

I have a support team a sexual assault consular I see once a month I perhaps needs to tell her how I’m feeling and they can help me I spent 2 years going through the repetitive crime at school until year 9 where I was protected a gang of boys were bullying 5 boys in 1 girl I was protected from them I didn’t understand why they couldn’t protect me from the real criminals I was sent to a mental health service for children and adolescents I was telling others professionals that I was afraid to be alone in the school during break times they are lucky my mental didn’t get so bad that trauma would take over my brain and I no longer would be able to concentrate that happened later

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear G12345,

Thank you for getting back here..

Yes Please let your Counsellor know how your feeling and thinking..as well as your repetitive thoughts..it’s very important that they know..They only know what you tell them..and can’t properly help you until you can fully open up about how your feeling and thinking...

I had those repetitive thoughts for a long time..I never got help for my childhood sexual assault....and it stayed with me for over 50 years..Now I’m under a trauma counsellor for CPTSD, due to DV....it came out during a counselling session...Now we are also trying to process the effect it had on me...

G12345...Please try hard to be completely honest with your thoughts, feeling your going through now..It really is so important for your journey back to wellness ...

Here for you..if you feel up to posting..

I hope your next counselling session is helpful for you lively G12345..

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy..

[Not_Batman]

G12345 & Grandy.

if i could jump through the internet and give you a hug, i would. I was moved, and brought to tears by your Story and courage. Nobody should have to endure sexual abuse, DV, or a combination thereof.

I had a near miss in a situation as a child, but thankfully nothing happened. But i cannot even begin to think of the effects.

All i can say is, Its not your fault! You did not deserve it!

Know that there are people out there who do understand, and please reach out to them for assistance.

Not_Batman

[G12345]

I feel like I did something to deserve all this pain and negative attention

[Ggrand]

Dear G12345.

No way do you deserve the pain and negative attention your thinking off...

You were an innocent child who was hurt badly by a monster...Who was too young to defend yourself properly...

G...honey, If you could have stopped them you would have...Please believe us when we say you are not to blame..you did nothing wrong...You did not and never will deserve what happened to you...You deserve to be treated with respect and care regardless of your age...

Please lovely G12345, don’t blame yourself nor be hard on you...Be as gentle and caring towards you as you can be..

My kindest and most caring thoughts...

Grandy..

[geoff]

Hello G12345, thanks Grandy and Not_Batman for being so attentive with your lovely replies because it's such an awful situation that should never have happened and you certainly did not deserve it, no matter how you look at it, you were taken advantage of.

Those 'gang of boys' may not have been able to help you, simply because sexual abuse wouldn't happen in front of other people to witness what has happened, but I'm sure they would have done anything to stop it from happening.

The person who has carried all of this out needs to be punished, and this will only happen once you are able to tell someone, your counsellor or other professionals to begin the healing you so long for and that's a reasonable request.

No one deserves this and I say this as I have, along with many others a certificate for WWCC (working with children check) which the Victorian Government introduced a checking system to help protect children under 18 years of age from physical or sexual harm.

Let the courts deal with this person while we hope you come back to us.

Geoff.