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Was this sexual assault? 

Community Member
I went on 3 dates with a guy and on the 3rd date he came back to my flat. I agreed to consensual protected sex. Out of nowhere, he hurt me. He didn't ask for consent. I was really scared. He then asked it if was ok, I was so scared and in shock I kind of mumbled yes. Then he hurt me again. I gasped and he said sorry.

Was this sexual assault?
2 Replies 2

Hey Jane-w,

You've shown so much strength in reaching out here tonight and sharing your story with the community. We are so sorry to hear about what you've been through and can hear how scared and shocked you must have felt. Please know that you don't deserve to be treated this way, and our community are here for you to help you during this overwhelming time.

We'd also strongly urge you to reach out to the kind and understanding counsellors at 1800RESPECT, who offer confidential information, counselling and support 24/7 for people impacted by sexual assault, and family and domestic violence. The lovely, supportive counsellors have a lot of experience offering advice and support to those who have been through experiences like this. You can contact them anytime on 1800 737 732 or also through their online chat at: https://www.1800respect.org.au/ ​​​​​​​ You can also talk these feelings through with the caring counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service who are also available anytime on 1300 22 4636 or you can get in touch through Webchat (1pm-12am AEST) at: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 

We hope that you can find some comfort in the kind words from our community, and please feel free to keep us updated on how you're going, whenever you feel ready.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Jane W

yes it sounds like sexual assault

i can hear you were scared and found it unpredictable and unsafe.
That is traumatic and violating.
I would encourage u to tell someone who you think could understand and empathise - a friend etc....

Ur mumbling yes doesn't change anything - there was no enthusiastic conscent and u felt unsafe. Perhaps scared to say no as it might've thrown this person off, when u felt uncomfortable. I hope ur okay.