Hi Haunted77
It sounds like you have done an incredible job of raising your boys as well as your self to meet the many incredible potentially soul destroying challenges your husband left you with. He, on the other hand, appears to have risen to little challenge. How easy would it be to not feel challenged by thoughtful responsibility, extra financial expenses or the relationship building and guidance that should be shared between parents and children?! Again, you've done and are doing an incredible job. Your boys must deeply admire you and rightfully so.
A few questions in the way of financial help:
- Is there any family you could seek some support from?
- When you left your ex, was there property involved?
- Have you spoken with perhaps a local neighbourhood support centre or an establishment such as the Salvos?
- I imagine you've already spoken with Centrelink. If so, have you discussed all possible options (including the less obvious ones) in the way of financial support?
- Are the boys entitled to any government support in the way of study?
This may sound a little challenging, but if you haven't already asked for board from your kids who work, now would be the time. If you're struggling with paying for groceries, I believe they'll need to step up a bit here. This may be only temporary, until new financial opportunities come along further down the line in the future. With your ex no longer a part of the family unit, it's worth considering how the existing family unit is going to support each other. This may prove to be a part of their challenge in life, where they can look back with pride and say 'I stepped up for my mum'.
As a mum myself, we acknowledge that we never stop raising our kids, no matter their age. There is no cut off point (such as 18). Whatever issues come to challenge them, we are there - rising to help them rise above and beyond. I find it works both ways. Sometimes the challenges we face as mums is to get our kids to do the same for us. Allowing them to raise us offers them deep rewards in the way of self esteem - for they have helped raise the person who means the world to them. There is not much that is more rewarding in life than this.
Your boys are truly blessed to have you as their mum, they really are. They may not fully understand what you face until they are a bit older but when they do come to understand the magnitude of your challenges, their love and respect for you will be overwhelming (whereas your ex may be left facing Karma).
🙂
