How to move on

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

I've not been around for a while. It has been quite an interesting year since May last year. I've struggled quite a bit with Complex PTSD, BPD Depression, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks and grief.

Where to from here? I have been stuck for a while with little energy to move on and not much of an idea how to move on anyway. It is hard when my mind decides it wants to disconnect as that feels safer and then I wander through each day like a person in a movie set, just pretending. Empty. Distant.

Anyone else have trouble getting from one day to the next, waking up in the morning and wondering what on earth you are going to do with that day? At least at work I know I need to be there and have a rough idea what I am supposed to be doing!

I wrote more here and deleted it. I have reached out for help in so many places. Maybe I am just too broken to be fixed. Maybe this is as good as it gets. Maybe I just need to be more grateful for all I do have and continue to stuff my issues down inside of me hoping they don't find a way to the surface anymore.

The last psychologist I saw told me I need to buy new curtains for the house, a comfortable chair to sit in and new pictures for the walls! Oh yes, that will certainly help with the CPTSD, BPD, Suicidal thoughts, past traumas and unresolved grief that all come uninvited to attack my mind. Why didn't I think of doing that earlier! I don't need a psychologist I need thousands of dollars and an interior designer!

How to move on? I am open to suggestions!

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Dools,

I was and still so upset that a psychologist can say those words to you or any else for that matter...She is not at all acting professional or not caring out her duty of care..,I’m so sorry she said that to you...Honestly she needs to be woken up of the duties she is suppose to be administering to her patients....I don’t know if their is a place that you can email to report her unprofessional and rude comments to you...

Definitely you are no nutter and you so much do deserve to be helped....This is so unfair and not acceptable behaviour for a psychologist....

Please Dools...write her words on a piece of paper...then rip it up and burn it if you can if not soak them in water and throw them out...her words are not at all worth your time, effort or the further decline of your mental health...

The words spoken to you here by your friends and supporters are the words for you to take into your heart and soul, because although we are not professional we care and love you a great deal...our words are the truth...not hers...,

Maybe it would be better to try in the next town for a better Dr...and ask that Dr, for an appointment with a psychiatrist and talk your mind out to him/her about what’s been said and happening to you....just a thought Dools...idk if that’s possible...but maybe worth a try...

I think a lot of psychologist have gotten their degree by Internet, with no people skills, compassion or knowledge of how much depression, anxiety and PTSD can effect and hurt our souls....

I wish so much that you can get the help you so desperately need and deserve...

My kindest wishes precious lady, with my love, care and a gentle hug or two..🤗🤗..

I really am deeply sorry that was said to you...and how badly she treated you..

Grandy..

[Doolhof]

Hi Grandy and Hanna,

Thank you for your kind thoughts and your care.

I drove almost an hour to see this lady, in the country you can travel a long way in an hour. The next option will be retuning to someone in the city.

I will admit some of what she has said is helpful. She is very blunt and quite rude at times though. Unfortunately her hurtful words are the ones that stick in my mind.

Today at work I was very busy so had little time to think about her, so will try not to recall her words.

Tomorrow I am catching up with people so that will keep me busy for a while.

I need to let her words go!

Thanks again, cheers from Dools

[Mum Chris]

Hi Doolhofs

When I read what the psychologist said to you I laughed. I mean was she he actually a proper fully trained person. Yep of course what we say is self focused. Of course we are super sensitive and everything is hyper affecting us.
sorry that happened to you. Be strong keep getting help don’t give up.
im newly back trying to actually get some mental health care.
scramble emotions and brain needs introspection. Eventually I hope to be less hyper aware and introspective. It’s ok for me to be good to me It’s ok to be good to you too. Maybe keep searching and seeking help. The truth is we need to get to a place that we are more outward looking and less hyper sensitive. It’s a process.
im sad that happened to you. Therapy should help not hurt.

[quirkywords]

Mrs. Dool,

I agree with mum Chris , therapy should help not hurt.

Dools, let the psychs words go and believe all the words people on this thread have said to you.

[Hanna3]

Hi Dools

I hope you feel better after a day of doing other things.

An hour is a long drive to then be made to feel upset!

You've got friends here Dools!

Hugs!

🙂🐮🐈🐀🐥🐕🦢👍🐦🥀

[Doolhof]

Hi Hanna,

I don't feel better. Woke up early this morning and all I could think of were her words that I am basically pathetic and self centred.

At work I had been told the HR person was going to talk to me about some of my issues that day. It didn't happen. In my mind that is just confirmation I am nothing and unworthy of anyone's attention or assistance.

If I have absolutely no expectations in life that people give a damn then maybe I will cope better!

How am I supposed to get better when I keep feeling like the people I am asking for help from are kicking me in the head and I no longer trust people to help?

If I could fix myself I would have done it!

[Doolhof]

My mind is really mixed up.

I am struggling

Maybe I just need to disappear for a while and not bother people

[Mum Chris]

Hi doolhofs

must be in the air I’m having a shaky day too. I took a mild pill to help me relax and today I feel bad.
I have been listening to positive affirmations on YouTube it’s supposed to put you to sleep but some days I need it too. There’s calming male or female voices to choose from and lots of topics. My inner voice says some bad stuff to me and it seems like yours does too. In last 2 weeks I’ve listened to soooo many hours of the nice lady telling me how beautiful and special I am and how I’m letting go of fear and becoming strong and healthy caring person. I’m listening to one now. I just put 1 earbud in.
I reached out to this forum because I am not ok and need someone to help and listen to me.
keep posting

[quirkywords]

Doo,s

I am so sorry you are struggling.

everyone who posts here knows how you try very hard and how you are so worthy of being treated well and getting help you ask for.

I sm so shocked that a professional would treat you so well

Please remember how appreciated you are.

[Doolhof]

Hi Mum Chris,

Thanks for your responses here. I am sorry that you are a bit shaky as well, as you have expressed it.

I might have to look into some positive affirmations on You Tube as well. I have read some before, I find reading them in my mind does not really help them stick, maybe listening to them being read out might make more of an impact.

You mentioned you are not okay and you want to reach out to others. How can we help you?

Cheers from Dools