Home invasion

[Mel_72]

At 2am sunday morning, someone broke into my home. I panicked and started screaming. They ran and i called the police. Police attended. They have 1 person in custody, pending court, and i dont think they are even looking for the 2nd...

Anyway, here we are a few days after the event, not sleeping properly, jumping at every sound, hypervigilant, unable to face going to work as MH nurse, struggling to get started with any of the jobs around the house. I feel like i cant even get enough air into my lungs. Im exhausted. I cry at nothing. Have spent a small fortune on cameras and extra locks and chains for around the house. I know all the the things to do- eat well, sleep, exercise, talk to people, but it doesnt seem to help yet.

I hate that this person has made me feel like this. Im usually strong and independent and can manage most things. I know this person is a career criminal, and magistrates keep granting bail. I have no idea if him or his mates will come back and try again. I keep thinking, what if they were already inside when i woke up. (I know i should flip this thought to im glad i woke up when i did and scared them off.. easier said than done.

Not sure if i want advice or what from here, hopefully just writing it out will help me move on

[Mel_72]

Thanks on the road,

Totally agree with what you say about effect on victims. I do think this should be part of determining any punishment for the perpetrators of these offences. As it stands he probs gets a slap on the wrist and will continue offending 😞

[Mel_72]

Well he got jail time and made the paper. Can apply for parole in june. I should feel better but i dont. I am pleased he got something more than a slap on the wrist

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Mel.72,

Oh that's terrifying! I'm so sorry. I can completely see why you wouldn't be sleeping and feeling hypervigiliant.

I want to try and remind you though that these responses aren't about no longer being strong or independent. These are trauma responses, where your brain is trying to keep you safe, even though you are safe now.

I hope there's some comfort in knowing that this man is in jail; I imagine that he got spooked by you being in the house and doesn't sound like he'd really thought that through.

Practically, it sounds like you've done everything that you can. A sign out the front warning of a dog can also be helpful even if you're not able to get a dog as it's just one more deterrent.

While it may sound a little strange, one other option I'd recommend thinking about is redecorating a little. I say this because it gives you something else to look at/smell/touch as a sensory way to ground you when getting jumpy and hypervigiliant, and helps convince your brain that this is a safe space now.

Do you have supports around you? Maybe you could chat with friends/family/colleagues, or your employer could hook you up with an EAP counsellor? Or even if you have the capacity, to stay somewhere else for a night or two so you can recharge?

I hope this helps.

Take care,

rt