Experiencing reputation fallout following a false allegation from a client

[asianaussie]

4 weeks ago, a massage client publicly accused me of indecent assault. I completely deny the allegation and am confident that I acted as professional and modest as possible. I had consulted with him thoroughly throughout the massage and never touched private areas and any areas he wasn't comfortable with. I had encouraged feedback multiple times, before, during and after the massage. Not once did he express discomfort or any negative reaction, said he 'felt nice.' However following the massage he complained to reception and posted a negative review accusing me of assaulting him, that I was behaving in a 'sexual and inappropriate manner' (My boss asked him to delete this review, but it's still up). As a result, I was suspended from working for 2 weeks. I submitted my client treatment notes (which I always do after a treatment) and explained my side. A police report was also submitted. 2 weeks later, police dropped the report citing 'lack of evidence' and HR cleared me to return working.  I released a statement stressing my innocence and the negative impact it has had on me. Unfortunately the fallout was huge. Many regular clients have dropped me, therapists and staff have ignored and excluded me. The business page has had abusive comments about me, and I've had to turn my social media account private. Worse yet, this client is still allowed to turn up (given he sees someone else) and he is angry that I'm still hired, airing his grievances to staff behind my back. Thankfully my boss and the assistant manager have been supportive throughout all this and have defended me.

What was once a workplace I'd been proud of and happy to be working at, has all crumbled. My reputation, confidence and ability to interact has been destroyed, and I just now hate seeing people, especially the accuser. I have become more paranoid and people pleasing, always fearing I've done something wrong. This has caused some clients to get annoyed at me 'repeatedly asking them questions and saying sorry.' Some other clients have even questioned about me on it ('wait, is she the masseuse who molested a client?') I've called in sick a few times (when I see he has booked on the day). I feel very alone that I'm not allowed to talk about it, while he's still allowed to turn up and talk. I'm expected to smile and 'just keep my head high.' People I've had good working relationships with, gone. Because of a completely false allegation. 

Personally, I've been in a terrible mess. I've barely slept, I've cried out of nowhere, I'm always watching my back in public. I keep replaying and ruminating the events, and have barely left the house except when I have to work.

As a therapist working for 10 years, I have NEVER had anyone accuse me on this level. When I work with clients, safety, comfort and trust is paramount, and I drill that into every treatment. While I can't impress everyone, I will always try my best to listen to the client, to genuinely help and improve their wellbeing. If someone doesn't like something, I encourage them to tell me upfront so that I can improve. Despite this, I will never even imagine, let alone want to harm someone. To be accused of this is beyond humiliating, damaging and upsetting. I am also furious and outraged beyond words and really want to make the client pay for what he did. Everyone needs to hear the truth about what happened, which thankfully some people still believe me (like my sister, partner, boss and assistant).

I understand this is a heavy post, and I have been seeking therapy for it. I do appreciate support and empathy though, regardless.

[LotusAfterRain]

Hi asianaussie,

A warm welcome to the forum! I’m here to listen and support you. 💙

Regarding the Google reviews, I think there may be a way to report the thread through Google if you believe the comments are inappropriate or lack sufficient evidence. Have you looked into this option?

Regarding the abusive comments on your business page, do you know who is posting them? Or are they mainly from the client who reported you?

Have you ever tried contacting a free legal aid service? It might be helpful to share your experience with them and see what kind of support or advice they can provide.

Although this is not your fault, I’m also concerned about your mental wellbeing, especially as you mentioned feeling ignored and excluded. Do you think moving to another workplace might be a good option for you, if the situation continues to affect your wellbeing?

Warm regards,

LotusafterRain

[Croix]

Dear Asianaussie~

Welcome back. I quite believe you. I'm so sorry that you a placed in this situation  where there does not seem to be any complete way of fixing things. Unfortunately with unsubstantiated allegations it is normally impossible to prove a negative, however the police have gone so far as to say there is no proof (which is as good as you wil ever get from them in these circumstances), HR, your boss and  your sister all believe you. They are the realy important ones.

It is part of the horrible side of life that people do say things that are untrue, maybe you might take legal action for defamation as mentioned by Lotusafterrain though proving the statements untrue can be hard, it can turn into a mess more stressful than doing nothing and simply prolong the matter.

If you don't mind me saying so you have had very opinionated parents who have been very controlling and frankly have belittled you with money and overriding your wishes. It may well be that as a result you may not be defending yourself as strongly as you might and accept the situation, rather than questioning what actually happened. Here I'm going to assume from your name here you are of Asian extraction (my apologies if I'm wrong).

Perhaps the man involved had a completely untrue fixed idea about Asian people giving massages and did not get what he actually  expected and wanted and then turned sour as a result. This is simply one possibility among many. Also he my have seen you as an easy target. There are all sorts of scenarios one can think of.

Now I'm not saying the above is fact, I am saying it as as reasonable a supposition as the one you have been accused of.

Once having made the allegation he would naturally keep up the pretense with your colleagues and the firm, with  unfortunate results as many are prone to believe salacious rumors and tales.

Sadly it will take time to time over this as it has deeply upset you and changed a portion of your life for a while. Please don't let it make you change what you do, it is an excellent profession, you are skilled in it, and things, with I guess the occasional hiccup, will quieten down.

Therapy to gain confidence in yourself and help you cope is a good idea, and will help not only now, but with whatever life throws at you in the future.

Lotusafterrain has offered some sensible alternatives. I had an unfounded serious allegation against me many years ago by a temporary boss in an organisation with which I had been for many years. Fortunately my regular boss, and HR decided it was untrue, however the bad taste lingered for a long time, and colleagues did not know what to think. I was very cross and upset I could not wipe out the slur completely but persevered as normal and eventually the whole fuss died away. 

If you decided to work elsewhere that would be understandable, either staying or going has advantages and disadvantages for you to decide.

I'm glad you are getting support from those that matter, and of course you are always welcome here.

Croix

[audiology]

Wow - what a crappy situation to have been put in my friend, I am truly sorry to read about your situation. I would suggest your best option - at least in the interim - would be to potentially look for work elsewhere, and here's why; The solo fact that the accusatory client is still welcome at the establishment with open arms tells me they care more about their bottom line than the wellbeing of their staff.

Yes I know you've mentiond that HR and management appear to be on your side, but I almost guarantee that is purely due to the fact that the police dropped the report due to 'lack of evidence', which means that it rules out HR's (alleged) plans to ultimately sack you if there had been any substance to the entire accustaion. Remember this - HR is rarely the individual workers friend, and is there to protect the company itself, not it's staff. 

Anyway - sorry again you're being put through the ringer like this, and I genuinely hope things begin to look up for you!

[asianaussie]

Hi LotusafterRain,

Thank you for your response. Regarding the Google Review, the boss did come back to me and said he's reported it, but at this stage there is no progress, so I don't know. 

The abusive comments coming from the page is from 1 user, who has gone under a different username (implied to be the man or someone connected to him). The business has blocked this user, and for now it's stopped. The comments have been reported for spam, but Instagram declined to remove them for some reason. I have not been on social media since the incident happened, the boss had told me this. He did though send out a post discouraging bullying and harrassing staff members, though did not address the specific reason.

The massage business I work in is a franchise, so there is a possibly I can transfer to a different location, as the easiest option. However there is a possibility that word of mouth would pass around and it may follow me wherever I go. But yes, I have been considering going somewhere else, but to be honest, I wanted to take a break first before going job hunting again. 

I am arranging to seek legal aid already. Some legal aids do have limits on what they can and can't help with. However though, with taking legal action this is likely that I am going to have to leave my job as this can further torpedo the situation.

Thank you once again for your support, much appreciated.

[asianaussie]

Hi Croix,

Thank you again for your support. On regarding my parents, I have actually moved out now and am living with my partner. So this is not too much of a problem now. My relationship with J has reconciled following the incident, and we've been in regular contact.

As I mentioned to LotusafterRain, I have arranged for legal aid, however whether I choose to take legal action or not, I have to be prepared to leave for sure, it doesn't look good to be a current employee and be suing the client. It may even extend out further publicly, and may even have his family members and friends involved. It's already hard enough as it is.

I'm sorry you went through a similar situation with the allegation. People can be cruel and low, and bully people to make themselves believable. The thing is, I actually did enjoy this workplace and have a good relationship with my boss, I have been here for 5 years. I've had a few ups and downs of course, but yeah, I'm not sure if I could stay this time. Job seeking is stressful, and my partner already doesn't have a secure job (he's trying to run his own business in the meantime). It's hard.

To be honest, I'm looking for an extended work break, because I want to work on improving my mental health and massage skills before going back in. Unfortunately as a contractor (as many therapists are) I don't get paid for breaks.

Thank you again for your advice, much appreciated.

[asianaussie]

Hi audiology,

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it greatly.

As mentioned to LotusafterRain, the business I'm in is part of a franchise, so I maybe able to move location, that's one option. But with the reputation potentially trailing behind me, this may not be a viable option. So maybe moving to a different business entirely could be an idea.

However, job seeking is stressful and can be long. My partner additionally does not have a secure job. I've been considering taking a break from working entirely, but financially, it is a bit of a hard situation. I have arranged to seek legal aid and looking through what can be done. 

You're right though about the business, I think they are trying to please the client rather than caring about me, and it's sad, because I thought they had been loyal and nice to me prior to this. I wish I had seen this earlier. So yeah, maybe leaving and taking a break, before trying to find another job, hope things work out well.

Thank you again for your response, much appreciated.

[Croix]

Dear Asianaussie~

You may well be thinking along the most practical lines already. However I did want to mention a lot of the reason I stayed with htat organization for a fair while after the incident was I felt if I left it could be regarded by some as an admission of guilt. This of course was just my thinking and may have been completely wrong. However I stayed a year and got a good reference. 

I'm not rying to push you to stay, I agree there are problems if you did and the place may never be the same. I'm simply talking about one alternative among many that happened to work for me.

I'm sure whatever you decide will work out well

Croix

[asianaussie]

Hi Croix,

I am at this stage still planning to stay, even despite the tough situation. I am on great working terms with my boss, and he has done his best to defend me publicly, and also the assistant manager. 1 client has spoken in support of me online. Hopefully this is a one off, and that things will improve. What would be best for me though is a break still.

Thank you for your response, appreciated.

[Croix]

Dear Aisianaussie~

That sounds a pretty good plan and I'm glad you have at least one client sticking up for you, there are probably more that never post and may not even know there was any trouble.

Will your boss give you the time off you need?

Croix