Hi Ez_22,
I’m deeply sorry for your loss, your heartbreak & grief. I can’t even imagine the enormity & complexity of your grief to lose your partner like that. That must have been devastating...
I admittedly have never been in a similar situation, but I would still like to try to support you...I hope that’s okay...
I think you’re very brave, as I feel it’s a huge step that you’re thinking about dating again. But I also realise it comes with a lot of heavy & conflicted emotions...
Personally, I think when it comes to dating, especially after something so traumatic, I would gently suggest making sure you feel emotionally ready, understand the reasons for why you want to date now & that you put in place some strong support systems beforehand.
For example, if you’re not already seeing a psychologist or counsellor, I would suggest looking into this by making an appointment with your GP first to discuss. Also, I would suggest that you keep in touch with your support network, whatever that might be e.g. friends/family/community/neighbours/etc as well.
I think it helps to understand what is motivating your desire to date now too, as opposed to 2 months ago. Just to use me as an example. I know it’s not the same, but I haven’t dated in a while, because I have my own issues to work through. I know if I were to date now, it would be for reasons that I’m not comfortable with personally...
In my case, it’s self avoidance, using someone else to help fill a void & mostly to combat my own loneliness rather than seeking a genuine connection. I’m absolutely not saying you’re the same as me of course, but what I’m getting at is trying to understand what is motivating your desire to date now.
It’s just that I feel dating can be an emotional time, especially after trauma. So I think it helps to work on ourselves, & be surrounded by professional and personal support if a person decides to put themselves out there again.
But, as I said, I think you’re very brave to want to try again. Please feel free to reach out any time to vent, ask questions or chat (no pressure of course).
kindness & care,
Pepper
