Crumbling

[Loulou57]

So I don’t even know where to begin basically my life has been one messed up shit show.. because of a work related incident. I was employed by a fast food restaurant had been working there for just over 3 years I was really happy there then one night on night shift we got robbed by an armed gang.. no one was hurt physically but mentally it’s taken it’s toll... I had counseling and returned to work 4 days after the incident had happened (too soon I know) all of the crew that were on that night but 3 left...I only stayed because at the time I was a mum of 2 and I say was because now I’m a mum of 3.. I have children to support I had to be working I didn’t have a choice I tried returning the 4th day and i was uncontrollably shaking and was beginning to have a panic attack so got my shift covered and this kept happening before, during and after a shift. I haven’t felt safe since the whole ordeal I check doors and windows literally multiple times before I got to bed and if I feel like I’ve missed one I’ll do it all over again..I look my car doors before I go anywhere I can’t help it. I am on depression medication currently and still struggling with the anxiety when anything is bought up about the incident. I’m still not feeling safe two years on as I haven’t really dealt with it yet I’ve had a lot of events happen those two years I left my husband, started from scratch literally hence why I stayed employed I tried looking for other jobs got interview but my anxiety ruined it for me as I know I wasn’t ok. So anyways I’m dealing with work cover now and I’m due to sit an assesment in the coming weeks to maybe be paid out and everytime it’s been bought up I really struggle. Financially it’s destroying me as I’m still not ok in myself to be working... I barely leave the house... I’ve lost myself, who I am as a person and I don’t know want to do career wise I was working towards managent before all this happened but that’s in the toilet. I feel like I’m failing my children I just want to feel better and be myself again...and financially be ok..

[Recuperandi]

Dear Loulou57,

Thank you for your post and it sounds like you have had a tough time of late. You will find these forums very helpful with many posts from members with lived experiences. Are you continuing to have counselling? Your reactions are a completely normal trauma response, but if you aren't having ongoing counselling I would suggest you consider speaking to a trauma specialist and having regular ongoing counselling. If you're in the workcover system, these should be paid for by the Workcover insurer. From my own experience of trauma I have found a holistic approach very helpful for me. A combination of trauma counselling, medication, meditation, mindfulness, aromatherapy, relaxing music, exercise and also reading about human trauma responses has helped me understand and accept my PTSD. One book in particular helped me greatly which is called "Waking the Tiger"by Dr. Peter Lavine. I say this helped me but we are all different and what worked for me may not work for you. Good luck with your treatment and feel free to reach out anytime for further help.

[Croix]

Dear Loulou57~

I'd like to join Recuperandi in welcoming you here to the Forum. As you can see there are many who have similar problems - which is why there is a special section just for them.

You sound as if not only was the original incident a complete horror, but circumstances have not been kind to you and you have had to force yourself to work extremely early, no matter what. As I found out not taking the right action and not getting proper treatmentquickly makes for a much more difficult problem to deal with.

You have my admiration for keeping on going and being a mum to three, this is a huge feat, and there is no way you are letting anyone down, quite the reverse, you are a hero.

I am not sure that in every case work-cover is the only thing you need to listen too. There may be vested interests involved and any medical professional that works for them is not your professional, it is theirs.

Can I suggest that if at all possible you get assessed and maybe even treated by someone you select who deals with trauma specifically?

In my own case I had my own psychiatrist plus my GP, and they were extremely helpful in putting my condition in a an accurate and dispassionate light. As a result my invalidity went as smoothly as one could reasonable expect with my examinations by the employer's experts being fair and not overly taxing.

Reactions such as yours do require specialist help, particularly therapy as well as selection of medications, and while not a quick process these can be very effective. I now live a pretty reasonable life, and have come to deal with the past reactions in a practical manner. They do get far less strong and much less frequent as time goes on. My medication suits me, has little side effects, and works.

Pleas let us know how you are going, you are not alone

Croix