Workplace Bullying & PTSD

[Kayla_K]

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to workplace bullying. Over the last 20 years, I have experienced a LOT to the point where I have had one minor nervous breakdown, borderline having a second and now living with anxiety due to my current manager & an account manager.

I know many will say 'get another job' but that isn't so easy when you're almost 50, have no formal qualifications & I can't sell myself as I no longer have any kind of faith in me.

Every morning I sit in my car talking myself into just backing out the drive, then when get there, I have to talk myself out of the car. I know that I am getting to the stage where I need to go as my anxiety is now affecting me on the weekend. Just the thought of going to work makes my stomach churn and the nausea starts. My sleep is shattered most nights with work related dreams.

I am already seeing a psychologist through work EAP but that is going to run out shortly & there is no end in sight.

I am in a thankless job, spoken to like I am no more than dirt, paid poorly & I do the most work (work admits that there is too much for one person but will no do anything about it). Yes, I am looking for another job but it is going to take time.

Yes, I have approached upper management about this & I have no idea what they are doing but it seems like nothing.

I am doubting my abilities to the point where I am double and triple checking my work & even more. I make a mistake I will know about it & I will be berated from both the manager and account manager as to how any why I made the mistake, how disappointed they are in me, how peed off the client is, how much money it will cost us/the client etc etc. i am not the only person the manger does this to, but I have the manger and her lap dog at my heels every day. The woman who was in this role before me left after 3 weeks, I have manged to barely survive 10 months.

I cry almost every day because I feel like I cannot do anything right. I feel stupid and useless & I am right back emotionally where I was when I was unemployed. I have little enjoyment anymore and the only thing that makes me smile is my little black furry terror of a dog. I want to stop crying but I feel like I am being beaten back down every day. It seems like this will be my 6th year in a row from hell where nothing goes right and the universe is throwing so much negativity at me that I am being crushed under the weight.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I think when you are berated by the accounts manager it is fair to say "hey, that issue has already been addressed I don't think I need to be chastised twice thankyou." That might halve the number of people telling you off which would be a step forward to handling work better. Alternatively, when you are told off can you ask your manager to do so in future with the accounts manager present? When she asks why say "I cant see the fairness in being told off twice about the same thing, there is no need for a gang to address one mistake".

With people with mental illness I often suggest they get two or even three part time jobs rather than one full time one. The reason is that 3-4 hours is enough in one environment with the same toxic people. If you were to lose one job you still have partial income to help out. Having one full time job that requires 150% effort to produce the work of two people isn't likely sustainable...you will not likely be there in 12 months time, just like those before you.

I don't have much else to offer except if you read the first post of the following thread.

Good luck.

Use google

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

TonyWK

[WhiteBear]

Hi Kayla,
Ultimately you can’t control other peoples behaviours, the only thing you can control is how you react. Dominant people enjoy pushing others around. Worst of all they always seem to get put into managerial positions. They’re basically addicted to the emotion of aggression and anger. Somebody who acts weaker is like a lamb to the slaughter.
So how does that help you? Don’t be the lamb. Don’t act weaker.
Aggressive people are not going away in life. This sort of instinctive emotion is built into our genetics over millions of years.
Negative thoughts and fearful emotions will unfortunately make you a target for bullies.
Luckily there are many techniques to over come this situation, and any future situation involving limited emotive people. I would recommend looking into the following:

Amy Cuddy: Your body language may shape who you are.
Amy suggests that power posing or standing in a confident posture can massively boost our confidence and change the way others perceive us.

Dr Joe Dispenza: Breaking the Habit of being yourself.
Dr Joe provides scientific evidence that our thinking ultimately shapes our lives.

Meditation and Hypnosis: I cannot recommend this more. Using a hypnosis technique to identify a limited emotion like fear and giving it up to a higher being. Dr Joe’s meditation techniques show you how.

Finally the Angel wings technique. This is a favourite of mine, but extremely difficult to do when people are pressing your buttons. Visualise everyone in your life with Angel wings. We are all equal, and connected with one another. Thoughts and body language are easily read. Being grateful and appreciating others will result in you being appreciated.

Trust me the results are truely amazing when you try these techniques.

Don’t give them any fuel, and the fire will burn out.

[Guest_093]

hi, i know what you are going through exactly kayla k at the moment as I am going through the same thing at work and in life! And I love the advice posts following I am going to research them in the morning, unsure though where to start looking exactly, maybe google search engine to start? Each shift I go to work and I am bullied by the manager when she is there or by some of the workers when working, constantly told by manager that she is 'over hearing 'about me, me, me and what about her, her , her, so she does not want to hear from from me and the problems i am having with other's @ work, anyway the saga does continue further, i would love to just do my job and remember that just to do my job for i seem to go into another world as i am not staying in the real world mentally, so if i can keep moving and do the tasks with work i think the boss and workers will leave me alone, i would like that very much, too much dribble for now!~!! happy days Spitfire1

[WhiteBear]

A google search will provide the results. Alternatively, some links below are worth a start.

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

Amy Cuddy also has a book called Presence

https://www.amazon.com.au/Presence-Bringing-Boldest-Biggest-Challenges-ebook/dp/B00YAKIX9G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1551212365&sr=8-1&keywords=amy+cuddy

Dr Joe Dispenza's has several books. I recommend stating with breaking the habit of being yourself.

https://www.amazon.com.au/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1551212420&sr=8-4&keywords=dr+joe

[grt123]

*Make notes everyday about the way you're treated - you can't take too many notes.

*Keep evidence.

*Tell a GP.

*Speak to a specialist employment lawyer. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, I think it will empower you.

[Summer Rose]

Hi kayla

Bullying in the workplace is not acceptable and there are laws to protect you.

It sounds as though you have grounds for a WorkCover claim and an external complaint, perhaps to your state's Human Rights and Equal Opportunity commission.

I say this because I think you need to get out of that workplace and put your health first now and WorkCover can help with the financial side of that process. WC itself is somewhat stressful to navigate but it is a worker friendly system and there are many law firms that specialize in this area that can help.

All the best to you