As far back as I can remember I've been judged by others; parents, relatives, neighbors, teachers etc. Criticized about the way I talk, dress, behave and most importantly the way I think! I often offend people.
How many times daily you judge someone and their appearance even if you are silent about it? In the bus, the train or down the street. We all talk about diversity but the reality is we don't like to be different, to stand out. Racism and discrimination and bulling is based on this principle: someone is in some way different to us and we dislike it. It makes us uncomfortable. So we have a problem, an issue.
We live in a judgmental world and a society that talks about tolerance but hates to act upon it. I'm not going to elaborate on this - you all watch the news. Our society, no matter what your background, kills all the creativity we have within us. Why is that? Simply because humans are good at following trends and do not want to be bothered thinking actively and critically.
There are judgmental tendencies in marriages, in workplaces, in religious and sport institutions, in politics etc. We marry a person having an idea of how they should look like, act etc, and then we somehow refuse to accept the differences they have. So we basically start to judge our partner and even try to change them. I have seen this on thousands of clients through my family and relationships work the last decade. All backgrounds, ages, genders exhibit the same trends. It's a human thing...and I am not an exception.
Of course this impacts on mental health and increases the levels of self-doubt, anxiety and distress in people. However, as grown ups, instead of letting judgmental words affect us, we can learn to cope with them and avoid worrying too much about the way other people perceive us.
Remind yourself that the judgement says nothing about you but everything about the person who judges you. When I say this to people many think I am rude, self-centered and even intimidating. However, a real kindness lies behind this superficial perception.- I always speak the truth, I am open-minded and willing to do new things, I create solutions in innovative ways, I am direct and straight to the point, I am strong-willed, I hate complainers, I am kind, I don't make small talk, I am wise, and I don't tolerate willful ignorance. - This is why I am not the flavor of the day and have no real friends around me. That's how I am happy.
