Hi Everyone. Want some advice please. My husband (my second marriage) of 16 years has depression. It has probably always been there but we both just didn't see it or want to see it.
We have moved about a fair bit to make new starts, even emigrated. About 6 months ago he decided again that he could not cope where we were living (rural australia), hates his job, hates everyone at work or anyone he meets, has nothing positive to say about anyone or anything. Just wants to stay at home. I told him I had enough, I can't do this anymore, we keep repeating the same story of him thinking the grass is always greener. I told him if he had to go see someone about this as I think he has a problem coping. He broke down, got angry but we hugged and I told him I wasn't going to leave as I love him.
He saw a GP who gave him antidepressants. He went to see a counsellor once but decided he/she didn't seem that interested and didn't go again. Things got a bit better Then about a month ago he went away for a bucks weekend and came home very distant. Didn't reply to my texts, stopped being cuddly and wanting sex (he is normally the opposite). Was always going to the gym. I let it all go thinking he will come round eventually. Then this weekend he takes him self of into the spare bedroom under the pretence his back is sore (he does have issues with this neck which stops him from doing his favourite sports). I let this go too, for a day or two thinking he will come back to me. He hasn't, he says he needs space to sort out his issues, that I haven't done anything wrong, there is no one else (I genuinely don t think there is), he says he doesn't know what he wants. One minute he says we have just become mates and lost our spark then tells me not to read to much into it. he rejects any form of affection from me, doesn't want any physical attention at all.
I ve never seen him this bad before and I just dont know what to do. Im crying all the time, not eating , sleeping trying to understand how he can just suddenly feel this way. Just when I get my hopes up that he is feeling better he pushes me away. I feel so devastated that he doesn't need me. Im scared Im the reason he feels this way and that all is lost. I don't want to loose him and our home. We are so isolated here, I have no family or close friends. what do i do? I don't want to push him but feel if i keep my distance like he says we will drift apart. Ive always been a positive bright supportive person up now I feel lost.
