Multicultural experiences

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Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

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op1996 Adolescence as a second generation immigrant
  • replies: 4

Hi guys, I will be talking my high school experience in Australia- how I adapted & coped with cultural difference. As an adolescent my mental health was at risk due to social and hormonal change, as well as the high need for a sense of belonging. I f... View more

Hi guys, I will be talking my high school experience in Australia- how I adapted & coped with cultural difference. As an adolescent my mental health was at risk due to social and hormonal change, as well as the high need for a sense of belonging. I first came to Australia when I was 15 year old (year 10) on my own for school. Not going to lie, it was very hard at the beginning as my English was still not proficient and I was one of the few Asians in a mostly caucasians school. I was extremely insecure of my English and that was one of the reason and that was one of the reason why I developed social anxiety & a irrational fear of people. I was too scared to even talk because I feared that my peers would judge my English so I was a very quiet kid. My lack of self esteem led to a whole lot of loneliness, self loathing and eventually it led to other problems as well. My grades started to drop because I could not concentrate in class, I started having insomnia, gained a lot of weight which did not help my crippling teenage insecurity. I did not have any friend whom I could talk to and I did not want to make my parents from Vietnam worry so I would lie and told them that I was having a good time. I also did not seek any sort of professional help. Eventually I started having suicidal thoughts and that was when I realised that my symptoms were more severe than just teenage blues. I researched and educated myself on depression/ anxiety & started to form a list of coping strategies that I forced my self to stick to. I had a journal of all the positive 'to do' things in the list each day and rewarded myself with compliments every time I completed the lists.The strategies consists of improving my overall health such as exercising and having a better diet. It took me about a month to started having better self care habits and the positive reinforcement from accomplishing the every day list made me feel much more confident and better. Towards the end of high school I had a much more positive mentality and my life tended to have an upward spiral from there. I got over my language insecurity & became more assertive, which led me to get out of my shell and experience the positive things in life. I will have another post focusing on my coping strategies and how I shifted my mind set from negativity to positivity. I regretted not seeking professional or social help because I reckoned that It would made my recovery a lot easier.

Daioz My story
  • replies: 3

First of all I would like to say that's a great idea, at the moment I'm in my bed writing this and my heart is beating so fast for some reason, maybe I'm afraid that some one will know my story and I would feel I'm a failure. I'm Australian born citi... View more

First of all I would like to say that's a great idea, at the moment I'm in my bed writing this and my heart is beating so fast for some reason, maybe I'm afraid that some one will know my story and I would feel I'm a failure. I'm Australian born citizen left Australia since I was 6 years old, my family and I went overseas cause my oldest brother used to take drugs, they were afraid that we will fllow his path and left Australia to Syria.My family members couldn't live there so they came back and lived here, our family was lost and separated, since I was the youngest I got used to how people live ther quickly and went to school learnt Arabic and went to uni doing computer science, but unfortunately I stopped and left uni due to the conflict in Syria, was threatened by ISIS members and friends was kidnapped, and some of them died in the army, got papers transfered to Australia and toldy pearnts it's time for us to leave this place, we are the minority community and we are the most targeted people over there.Got accepted in a uni in Melbourne graduated with a bachelor degree in IT, and since then I'm struggling to find a job, I think it's because of my English or maybe my accent, I don't know what's wrong . Didn't give up started to do labouring for a cement rendering company for my cousin . Wasn't happy at all but I needed the money so I can save up and bring my girlfriend from Syria based on a 5 years relationship.She couldn't wait that long and we always used to fight, moved on with my parents, all of my family members are divorced, continued to do rendering and saved up and got engaged to a girl I loved over the social networking from Syria.Now I'm back changing booses and companies cuasue my cousin used to treat me bad, I feel really bad about wasting my time on studying with no experience and no job related to my degree, and now I'm always scared to go to work and meet a new boss and work for him, I'm not happy, I wouldn't say that to my girlfriend cause, last night we had a fight about me not working cause she's waiting for me to apply for her visa so we can live together, all of my best friends are overseas, here I have no one.My dad and mum are separated and swearing at each other over the phone, no help from my brothers. I'm lost and scared of the future, don't know what to do, I'm always afraid to do new things, did a claim on centrelink since I'm unemploymed for three month so far, they rejected it after two months and two weeks of calling them and going to the office, saying I didn't provide all the required documents. My apologies for my English, I just feel no one is there for me, no one can help me.Sorry again for my bad English

Nurhos My wife has split behaviour
  • replies: 2

It is about my wife. I got married about 2 and half yrs back. This is my 2nd marriage and my wife is 25 yrs old. I brought her to Australia from India. Before marriage we had about 20 days to know each other and the marriage was an arranged marriage ... View more

It is about my wife. I got married about 2 and half yrs back. This is my 2nd marriage and my wife is 25 yrs old. I brought her to Australia from India. Before marriage we had about 20 days to know each other and the marriage was an arranged marriage with my wife's full concern. Before I got married to her I told her and her family that I had an incident in my life which was my first marriage. Shortly I described as it is very short marriage and I was a kind of cheated by that family. However, after I sponsored my first wife to come to stay with me in Australia I came to know that she was engaged with somebody and she could not live without him. Eventually after a few months of stay she left and went back to India. Since this after another 4 yrs I got married to my current wife. Before marriage I did not talk about all the details of my first marriage as it is meaningless to me. After marriage the first month I stayed in India and then came back to Australia. After a few days of my departure one of my relative shared with her that my first wife came to Australia. By knowing this my current wife became very angry and burst into anger. She phone me and asked for divorce. I was shocked as to me I was a married person that clarifies everything whether I had slept with her or bought a gift for her. Truly I stayed with my first wife in India for about a week or more. In about 4-5 months time I saw her again when I brought my mom back home in India. My mom came to visit me. Since my current wife came to know that my first wife came to Australia she is restless whenever she has any chance she bullies me for this. She says I am fraud as I did not tell her every bits of my first marriage. I told her that it was my past and I did not find any importance to tell you every details as it was just a past. Beside for very silly things she abused verbally. For example recently she was with me when I went to see my physiotherapist. After we were done with the lady physiotherapist while we were coming out of her office my wife started screaming at me. It was so sudden I could not follow her. However, finally I realized that it was due to the check up and treatment given by the therapist. In other words, my wife was trying to tell me that I am not a good person, I enjoyed when the therapist was checking my upper back and lower back. I have been very dishonest to her since marriage. I intentionally took an appointment with a lady therapist. By the way the therapist was in the public hospital and no way I had any opportunity to determine who will see me. After coming home she became violent and starting pushing me and throwing stuff. She damaged the wall of our bed room by throwing the oil heater. When she verbally abuses me I hardly can tolerate and accept that. I became very stressed and feel helpless. For very silly reason she will start this behaviour and finally after 1-2 days she will be normal. When she is normal she is a very lovely wife who takes care of me more than my mom I would say. She will fed me before she eats. She will not allow me to do anything. But when for some reason this episode starts I just get lost and think what can I do to stop her. Usually after a very long sleep she becomes normal. She denies to see any mental expert. If I try to talk about it she becomes unhappy and says that I do not love her. I really love her but have reached at the bottom of my patience. Can anyone please help me to let me know that whether this is kind mental disorder or so? I do not have any kids from my former or current wife. My current wife had a miscarriage about a year back. Thank you very much for reading my issue.

Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

shyam innocent are always left to die
  • replies: 3

i was very happy when i came to austraila as electrician in 2008. but all dreams vanished in 2010 once i injured at work (head injury) and became epliptic for life. their is no positive way in my life. even after many try to start positively but my h... View more

i was very happy when i came to austraila as electrician in 2008. but all dreams vanished in 2010 once i injured at work (head injury) and became epliptic for life. their is no positive way in my life. even after many try to start positively but my health conduction is going down. i was just 31 year when i was injured. now am 39 and i am done with it. i just want to finish it anyway but just seeing my kids laugh i forget my pain and i am just extending my life. today no friends or relatives with me and am all alone, back home in my country my parents and friends think i live a good life here and i dont want to know anybody whats going on with me. i never want to tell my problems about my health conduction to anyone but it already been known to my wife and few to my GP and psychiatrist. i dont like to tell all my problems about my personal or financial hard ship going through. before they know everything about me some how i have to end it. sorry if anything posted wrongly.

MisterM How to handle racism and abuse in the family
  • replies: 9

Hey all, My niece recently revealed to her parents that she has been seeing a guy for over a year now. She didn't want to tell them because of her dad's and to some extent her mum's racist beliefs. Her boyfriend is of a different race which her paren... View more

Hey all, My niece recently revealed to her parents that she has been seeing a guy for over a year now. She didn't want to tell them because of her dad's and to some extent her mum's racist beliefs. Her boyfriend is of a different race which her parents cannot accept. Her dad was so furious she kept it from them for so long that he verbally abused her, calling her names of a sexual nature which I do not want to repeat here as it may lead to my post not being published. He told me what he called her yesterday as he called me to tell me she has a boyfriend. Anyways, I saw my niece today and when I asked how she is going she started crying, she's very upset and cannot understand why her parents won't accept someone of a different race. My sister keeps saying to my niece that her boyfriend is using her for sex even though she has not met him. From what my niece tells me he seems like a very nice and caring young man. They met at high school. My niece is 2 months shy of turning 18 yet her parents say she is too young and has TAFE to worry about. I was furious at this, I regret not pulling my brother in law up on the phone about the verbal abuse, specifically the one of a sexual nature. I asked my sister to call me after work and I told her that her and my brother in law are wrong and that they are overreacting. My brother in law did not want me coming over as he is crying and all upset and hurt at being lied to. Today I told my niece I am there for her and see nothing wrong with her boyfriend and told her I understand why she hid her relationship for so long. She choked back tears because she wants to be open with her parents but feels like she cannot due to the racism and that her dad won't accept someone of a different race into his house. I am just concerned my sister and brother in law will think I am overstepping the line as it is their daughter. I just don't want my niece to end up suffering mental health issues because of this. Her dad calls her stupid, dumb and worthless and says she won't amount to nothing. I told my sister on the phone this is very damaging and why I developed mental issues because of how my mum did the same to me. Am I doing the right thing here, am I overstepping? I handled it the best I could. I cannot sit idle and let this slide, I'd be complicit otherwise. My niece is a good person who is mature for her age, I don't want to see her dad destroy her. Thanks in advance.

LostInAustralia New Immigrant Feeling Lost and Alone
  • replies: 11

Hi, I don't usually frequent these kinds of forums, but I am at a loss about what to do next. I am a long term expat who has arrived with my Australian husband over a year ago. While in our former postings it took me a while to settle in, make friend... View more

Hi, I don't usually frequent these kinds of forums, but I am at a loss about what to do next. I am a long term expat who has arrived with my Australian husband over a year ago. While in our former postings it took me a while to settle in, make friends, and feel like I belong, things have been taking a lot longer here. I haven't been able to make the network of friends I would have done in other places, in spite of finding work, joining clubs and classes, trying meetup, reaching out to random people at cafes... my usual tactics don't seem to be working. People are just too busy, or not interested in acquiring new friends, or I can't talk to them about interests in common, no one seems to have a background like me, and if they do, I am not finding these people. Where are they? I suppose it doesn't help that before my husband and I were in the same situation, but now he has fallen back into his old social groups and hobby (which I don't share). His friends are nice, but not the people I would call up on the phone. He seems to be oblivious to my struggle, I am sure he is not, but I feel like he is living his life and has forgotten what it used to be like to not have a network. I have come to a point where I am wondering what the point of being here is aside from my husband, who I am crazy about and when he is here everything does go a bit better. But he travels about 2 weeks of every month, so I am left to my own devices. I have gotten tired of going to Meetups and reaching out to people with no result, the few friends I have are from my home country for the most part but to be honest I don't really click with them. This is the first time, having lived in 4 countries, that I haven't been able to find a "tribe" and a reason to exist apart from my love for my husband. I would appreciate any advice, bearing in mind that I have tried all the usual stuff to "get a life" in Australia because I am at a loss as to what I am doing wrong. This is really affecting how I feel about myself and my ability to reach out, it all just seems pointless. I am usually very good at this, what am I doing wrong?! Thanks...