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Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

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Hawraa Struggling for cultural sensitivity
  • replies: 5

Hey guys! My name's Hawraa (pronounced, how-rah), and mental health is something I take very personally and am very passionate about. I've had a general anxiety disorder (GAD) most of my life with memories as early as 9yrs old, I've also experienced ... View more

Hey guys! My name's Hawraa (pronounced, how-rah), and mental health is something I take very personally and am very passionate about. I've had a general anxiety disorder (GAD) most of my life with memories as early as 9yrs old, I've also experienced bouts of depression in my adult years. I have family members that have suffered with their mental health and unfortunatley the thing we all have in common is we suffered silently and ignorantly for far too long before understanding what we were experiencing and feeling. On top of that, finding the support with the cultural and religious sensitivity to help us navigate through these experiences was incredibly difficult. Personally, I've seen a great deal of mental health advocacy, and I think it's incredible. It's becoming more of a conversation and moving in the right direction. However, I fail to see much diversity in representation when mental health is indiscriminatory. I sort counselling on a few occassions and found that most of my time was explaining my culture and faith and why seemingly social norms would be triggers of shame, guilt, and anxiety. This is why this multicultural experiences forum is something I'm excited to be a part of and look forward to engaging with people on their experiences and be able to relate through the lived experiences that come with our heritege. Empathetically, Hawraa

Hayfa Is resilience a factor in positive mental health?
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, I know that this line may cause uncomfortable reading for some but I really think it is worth pondering being that this topic may hold true for many communities especially around the world. Literature and empirical evidence suggests that... View more

Hi everyone, I know that this line may cause uncomfortable reading for some but I really think it is worth pondering being that this topic may hold true for many communities especially around the world. Literature and empirical evidence suggests that some communities develop a characteristic resilience due to the environment they live and they adapt to that life and for most, resulting in strong mental health. This may be a product of military occupation, conflict and difficult conditions in their home countries, people have been born into these circumstances so they know no other form of living and from this one and only experience they are conditioned to live as they best they can. Of course such living conditions may go two ways in a person's health and wellbeing but generally most develop good, strong mental health from these difficult conditions and in many circumstances become active to bring about a change in circumstances. I think mental health is more likely to be compromised if one lives relatively comfortably but some type of negative circumstances or changes occur which then impact their mental health causing anxiety or depression. In my work I have spoken to many people from CALD backgrounds that have had some horrendous experiences but their mental health is strong and they keep pushing on positively. Sometimes we think that people from multicultural communities deny or stigmatise mental health but is it possible that in reality they don't have much awareness of MI because in the circumstances of their lives they haven't really encountered it? What are your thoughts?

bluskiy elderly immigrant parents living with adult children - stressful
  • replies: 4

Our family is Chinese - father, mother, daughter (me). My grandparents immigrated about 3 years ago on a parent visa because they wanted to live with us in Australia. Unfortunately, we have nothing in common with them, and we aren't close. Because of... View more

Our family is Chinese - father, mother, daughter (me). My grandparents immigrated about 3 years ago on a parent visa because they wanted to live with us in Australia. Unfortunately, we have nothing in common with them, and we aren't close. Because of this, the household has a very tense atmosphere-- even though we live under one roof, it feels like two families are living there. I think the effects are more poignant because we remembered being relaxed and free to move around the home before they came and now we don't have that relaxed feeling. It doesn't feel like "home" anymore. We don't understand why they feel the need to cling on to my dad (their son), to the extent of following him overseas and intruding on our family since they were financially and socially fine back in China (all their friends and relatives are back there)! It's hard to articulate the magnitude of the stress we're under as well - we want them to be happy but at the same time them being here disrupted our family life in only a negative way. Right now, we don't know what to do. We want to live apart from them. We think having an open discussion is the best way to communicate this but we doubt they'd be honest with their feelings. My dad has checked up on them countless times before, and they'd always say they're "fine" but it's hard to believe because they don't know english, they're very quiet, they don't have many friends/no close friends, or any interest in spending the rest of their days in a fulfilling manner. Also, it's almost certain they'd interpret our desire to live apart as abandoning them. We wish we could find a way to communicate our feelings, and for them to honestly communicate theirs so we can find a living arrangement that doesn't cause so much misery... I've looked at counselling but it's hard to find one that deals specifically with the Chinese parent-adult child relationship. Any advice is appreciated: this has been going on for 3 years already...

Chris_B Meet our beyondblue Connect Peer Mentors
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, We're pleased to announce the launch of a new peer support service, beyondblue Connect, based in Victoria's Greater Dandenong region. You can read more about this free service here. beyondblue Connect combines telephone, email, face-to-f... View more

Hi everyone, We're pleased to announce the launch of a new peer support service, beyondblue Connect, based in Victoria's Greater Dandenong region. You can read more about this free service here. beyondblue Connect combines telephone, email, face-to-face and support here on our forums. The purpose of this thread is to introduce our Peer Mentors, and answer any questions about beyondblue Connect that aren't already answered on the FAQ page. beyondblue Connect mentors have backgrounds in health, community and peer support services. They draw on their own personal experience to offer caring, evidence-based interventions to improve wellbeing, decrease emotional distress and improve connections to your community. You may also see Peer Mentors responding in threads here from time to time. Please note: At the moment, beyondblue Connect services are only available if you are living in the Greater Dandenong region.

swidjaja11 Feeling Horribly Alone
  • replies: 5

I am a university student and studying Accounting. I don't hate it but it's not my main passion. My passion is piano and Applied but I can't see myself as a teacher. I see myself as a performer, which is a career that doesn't pay the bills. As for Ma... View more

I am a university student and studying Accounting. I don't hate it but it's not my main passion. My passion is piano and Applied but I can't see myself as a teacher. I see myself as a performer, which is a career that doesn't pay the bills. As for Mathematics, there are not a lot of job prospects. I plan to study Music and get a part time Accounting job after obtaining my Accounting degree but I have a dilemma. I might not maximise my career. If I talk to my parents, it will be the same conversation. Do I love Accounting? Me: Yes (lie). P: Fight for it! If I tell the truth, I will get my dad angry and getting my dad angry and disappointed in me is worse than any failure in exam. I want to talk to my mum but, being the idiot she is since she works in a menial job, can't help me so, I have no choice but to turn to my dad. My dad is smart since he is working for his ph.D however, I had a traumatic experience with him. No abuse whatsoever but he once got extremely cranky just because I couldn't understand a Math question. I remember that he nearly threw a glass to a wall just because I couldn't understand it but I have no choice but to talk to him since he is the smart one. Talking to him feels like being in a hot seat. Despite having provided me with resources and my mum claiming that he loves me, I call bullsh*t. I don't want to have to do anything with him. I just can't wait to cut my entire family off, particularly my dad. Talking to him makes my blood boil. My mum wants me to talk but I don't want to since I feel like that I'm in a hot seat. I prefer to suffer in silence. To exacerbate things, I feel pressured to lose weight because my family members in Indonesia will tease me if I don't. I once ended up wailing to my parents that I don't want to go back to Indonesia because of this. My mum, being the block-head she is, doesn't understand that, more than once, I almost become anorexic. She told me to just ignore them. This just makes me feel horribly alone. I don't know what to do and I just think that death is the best answer. If anyone can give me any advice that will be great.

op1996 Adolescence as a second generation immigrant
  • replies: 4

Hi guys, I will be talking my high school experience in Australia- how I adapted & coped with cultural difference. As an adolescent my mental health was at risk due to social and hormonal change, as well as the high need for a sense of belonging. I f... View more

Hi guys, I will be talking my high school experience in Australia- how I adapted & coped with cultural difference. As an adolescent my mental health was at risk due to social and hormonal change, as well as the high need for a sense of belonging. I first came to Australia when I was 15 year old (year 10) on my own for school. Not going to lie, it was very hard at the beginning as my English was still not proficient and I was one of the few Asians in a mostly caucasians school. I was extremely insecure of my English and that was one of the reason and that was one of the reason why I developed social anxiety & a irrational fear of people. I was too scared to even talk because I feared that my peers would judge my English so I was a very quiet kid. My lack of self esteem led to a whole lot of loneliness, self loathing and eventually it led to other problems as well. My grades started to drop because I could not concentrate in class, I started having insomnia, gained a lot of weight which did not help my crippling teenage insecurity. I did not have any friend whom I could talk to and I did not want to make my parents from Vietnam worry so I would lie and told them that I was having a good time. I also did not seek any sort of professional help. Eventually I started having suicidal thoughts and that was when I realised that my symptoms were more severe than just teenage blues. I researched and educated myself on depression/ anxiety & started to form a list of coping strategies that I forced my self to stick to. I had a journal of all the positive 'to do' things in the list each day and rewarded myself with compliments every time I completed the lists.The strategies consists of improving my overall health such as exercising and having a better diet. It took me about a month to started having better self care habits and the positive reinforcement from accomplishing the every day list made me feel much more confident and better. Towards the end of high school I had a much more positive mentality and my life tended to have an upward spiral from there. I got over my language insecurity & became more assertive, which led me to get out of my shell and experience the positive things in life. I will have another post focusing on my coping strategies and how I shifted my mind set from negativity to positivity. I regretted not seeking professional or social help because I reckoned that It would made my recovery a lot easier.

Daioz My story
  • replies: 3

First of all I would like to say that's a great idea, at the moment I'm in my bed writing this and my heart is beating so fast for some reason, maybe I'm afraid that some one will know my story and I would feel I'm a failure. I'm Australian born citi... View more

First of all I would like to say that's a great idea, at the moment I'm in my bed writing this and my heart is beating so fast for some reason, maybe I'm afraid that some one will know my story and I would feel I'm a failure. I'm Australian born citizen left Australia since I was 6 years old, my family and I went overseas cause my oldest brother used to take drugs, they were afraid that we will fllow his path and left Australia to Syria.My family members couldn't live there so they came back and lived here, our family was lost and separated, since I was the youngest I got used to how people live ther quickly and went to school learnt Arabic and went to uni doing computer science, but unfortunately I stopped and left uni due to the conflict in Syria, was threatened by ISIS members and friends was kidnapped, and some of them died in the army, got papers transfered to Australia and toldy pearnts it's time for us to leave this place, we are the minority community and we are the most targeted people over there.Got accepted in a uni in Melbourne graduated with a bachelor degree in IT, and since then I'm struggling to find a job, I think it's because of my English or maybe my accent, I don't know what's wrong . Didn't give up started to do labouring for a cement rendering company for my cousin . Wasn't happy at all but I needed the money so I can save up and bring my girlfriend from Syria based on a 5 years relationship.She couldn't wait that long and we always used to fight, moved on with my parents, all of my family members are divorced, continued to do rendering and saved up and got engaged to a girl I loved over the social networking from Syria.Now I'm back changing booses and companies cuasue my cousin used to treat me bad, I feel really bad about wasting my time on studying with no experience and no job related to my degree, and now I'm always scared to go to work and meet a new boss and work for him, I'm not happy, I wouldn't say that to my girlfriend cause, last night we had a fight about me not working cause she's waiting for me to apply for her visa so we can live together, all of my best friends are overseas, here I have no one.My dad and mum are separated and swearing at each other over the phone, no help from my brothers. I'm lost and scared of the future, don't know what to do, I'm always afraid to do new things, did a claim on centrelink since I'm unemploymed for three month so far, they rejected it after two months and two weeks of calling them and going to the office, saying I didn't provide all the required documents. My apologies for my English, I just feel no one is there for me, no one can help me.Sorry again for my bad English

Nurhos My wife has split behaviour
  • replies: 2

It is about my wife. I got married about 2 and half yrs back. This is my 2nd marriage and my wife is 25 yrs old. I brought her to Australia from India. Before marriage we had about 20 days to know each other and the marriage was an arranged marriage ... View more

It is about my wife. I got married about 2 and half yrs back. This is my 2nd marriage and my wife is 25 yrs old. I brought her to Australia from India. Before marriage we had about 20 days to know each other and the marriage was an arranged marriage with my wife's full concern. Before I got married to her I told her and her family that I had an incident in my life which was my first marriage. Shortly I described as it is very short marriage and I was a kind of cheated by that family. However, after I sponsored my first wife to come to stay with me in Australia I came to know that she was engaged with somebody and she could not live without him. Eventually after a few months of stay she left and went back to India. Since this after another 4 yrs I got married to my current wife. Before marriage I did not talk about all the details of my first marriage as it is meaningless to me. After marriage the first month I stayed in India and then came back to Australia. After a few days of my departure one of my relative shared with her that my first wife came to Australia. By knowing this my current wife became very angry and burst into anger. She phone me and asked for divorce. I was shocked as to me I was a married person that clarifies everything whether I had slept with her or bought a gift for her. Truly I stayed with my first wife in India for about a week or more. In about 4-5 months time I saw her again when I brought my mom back home in India. My mom came to visit me. Since my current wife came to know that my first wife came to Australia she is restless whenever she has any chance she bullies me for this. She says I am fraud as I did not tell her every bits of my first marriage. I told her that it was my past and I did not find any importance to tell you every details as it was just a past. Beside for very silly things she abused verbally. For example recently she was with me when I went to see my physiotherapist. After we were done with the lady physiotherapist while we were coming out of her office my wife started screaming at me. It was so sudden I could not follow her. However, finally I realized that it was due to the check up and treatment given by the therapist. In other words, my wife was trying to tell me that I am not a good person, I enjoyed when the therapist was checking my upper back and lower back. I have been very dishonest to her since marriage. I intentionally took an appointment with a lady therapist. By the way the therapist was in the public hospital and no way I had any opportunity to determine who will see me. After coming home she became violent and starting pushing me and throwing stuff. She damaged the wall of our bed room by throwing the oil heater. When she verbally abuses me I hardly can tolerate and accept that. I became very stressed and feel helpless. For very silly reason she will start this behaviour and finally after 1-2 days she will be normal. When she is normal she is a very lovely wife who takes care of me more than my mom I would say. She will fed me before she eats. She will not allow me to do anything. But when for some reason this episode starts I just get lost and think what can I do to stop her. Usually after a very long sleep she becomes normal. She denies to see any mental expert. If I try to talk about it she becomes unhappy and says that I do not love her. I really love her but have reached at the bottom of my patience. Can anyone please help me to let me know that whether this is kind mental disorder or so? I do not have any kids from my former or current wife. My current wife had a miscarriage about a year back. Thank you very much for reading my issue.

Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

shyam innocent are always left to die
  • replies: 3

i was very happy when i came to austraila as electrician in 2008. but all dreams vanished in 2010 once i injured at work (head injury) and became epliptic for life. their is no positive way in my life. even after many try to start positively but my h... View more

i was very happy when i came to austraila as electrician in 2008. but all dreams vanished in 2010 once i injured at work (head injury) and became epliptic for life. their is no positive way in my life. even after many try to start positively but my health conduction is going down. i was just 31 year when i was injured. now am 39 and i am done with it. i just want to finish it anyway but just seeing my kids laugh i forget my pain and i am just extending my life. today no friends or relatives with me and am all alone, back home in my country my parents and friends think i live a good life here and i dont want to know anybody whats going on with me. i never want to tell my problems about my health conduction to anyone but it already been known to my wife and few to my GP and psychiatrist. i dont like to tell all my problems about my personal or financial hard ship going through. before they know everything about me some how i have to end it. sorry if anything posted wrongly.