My story

[Daioz]

First of all I would like to say that's a great idea, at the moment I'm in my bed writing this and my heart is beating so fast for some reason, maybe I'm afraid that some one will know my story and I would feel I'm a failure.

I'm Australian born citizen left Australia since I was 6 years old, my family and I went overseas cause my oldest brother used to take drugs, they were afraid that we will fllow his path and left Australia to Syria.My family members couldn't live there so they came back and lived here, our family was lost and separated, since I was the youngest I got used to how people live ther quickly and went to school learnt Arabic and went to uni doing computer science, but unfortunately I stopped and left uni due to the conflict in Syria, was threatened by ISIS members and friends was kidnapped, and some of them died in the army, got papers transfered to Australia and toldy pearnts it's time for us to leave this place, we are the minority community and we are the most targeted people over there.Got accepted in a uni in Melbourne graduated with a bachelor degree in IT, and since then I'm struggling to find a job, I think it's because of my English or maybe my accent, I don't know what's wrong . Didn't give up started to do labouring for a cement rendering company for my cousin . Wasn't happy at all but I needed the money so I can save up and bring my girlfriend from Syria based on a 5 years relationship.She couldn't wait that long and we always used to fight, moved on with my parents, all of my family members are divorced, continued to do rendering and saved up and got engaged to a girl I loved over the social networking from Syria.Now I'm back changing booses and companies cuasue my cousin used to treat me bad, I feel really bad about wasting my time on studying with no experience and no job related to my degree, and now I'm always scared to go to work and meet a new boss and work for him, I'm not happy, I wouldn't say that to my girlfriend cause, last night we had a fight about me not working cause she's waiting for me to apply for her visa so we can live together, all of my best friends are overseas, here I have no one.My dad and mum are separated and swearing at each other over the phone, no help from my brothers.

I'm lost and scared of the future, don't know what to do, I'm always afraid to do new things, did a claim on centrelink since I'm unemploymed for three month so far, they rejected it after two months and two weeks of calling them and going to the office, saying I didn't provide all the required documents. My apologies for my English, I just feel no one is there for me, no one can help me.Sorry again for my bad English

[Hayfa]

Hello Daioz,
Thank you for posting, please don't apologise and say your English is bad because it is not.
I am sorry for what you have been through and I understand this difficult life because I myself am from the Middle East and I have witnessed war.

You say you don't like to tell your story because you think you will be seen as a failure, but you don't consider that perhaps you will be actually seen as a resilient young man who has lived in a most unfortunate place in difficult circumstances and this is not ordinarily experienced by the rest of the population.
It's wonderful that you did not give in to armed groups in Syria and join that conflict. Your determination to stay true to yourself by studying and finding a different life shows your good character and more importantly proves that you did not come to Australia like some for a better life but to save your life and this is what makes listening to your story an inspiration and an example to others about how to defeat the odds.

Do not be overwhelmed if things take time to happen, it is all perfectly timed to happen when it should at the precise moment.
You can find the job that makes you happy and is for you by starting to look at the right connections, there are some organisations that are specific to helping connect people that have come over from conflict zones, to the right employers ( look at Given A Chance Program by Brotherhood of St Laurence) in your State and area.

Your girlfriend will understand when you explain what you are doing to improve your situation and explain to her that the immigration process could be a long one so she has to be patient.
You say you feel lost and scared of the future but I don't think that's entirely true because anyone who has gone through that recent tormented life over there and stood up fighting to get out is not lost or scared, they would have to be smart, strong and determined to do that.

This sounds like you are a little unsure and anxious about things but keep persisting because it will work for you and, try to make some more social connections by finding community groups that are from your background that have come here under your similar circumstances and can share your experiences.
I encourage you to post here when you feel you need to, someone will always respond.

Haifa

[J_M_12345]

Hi Daioz,

Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you have faced so many difficult situations and have stuck through it. You sound very brave and I commend you for reaching out. Migration is hard, finding jobs and starting from scratch is hard. But you've also had a hard time in Syria and with your family. In light of all these difficulties and the fact that you are feeling lost and scared, I recommend that you speak with a mental health professional like a counsellor or a psychologist. These professionals can help walk beside you in this tough time as you settle down and can help strengthen you mentally so you are better equipped to deal with anything that comes your way. Is there a community health centre where you live? They usually have psychologists for free. You can also talk to your doctor about this.

Other self-care tips like meditation, regular exercise and healthy eating are important too.

Now more specifically, I want to let you know that finding a job is really hard, and it's not a negative reflection of you that you can't find one. I finished high school this year and am struggling to find a job - any job - to make some money. My parents, also being migrants, struggled a lot till they found a job because of a lack of experience in the country. The job market is competitive and that's why it's hard. So I know it's easier said than done, but please don't think it's because of your English or your skills or qualifications, and don't lose hope. Seek those work connections, talk to people and continue applying. You might get rejected many times, but don't lose hope. Did you know J. K. Rowling, author of the famous Harry Potter series, had her book Harry Potter rejected 12 times before she got it published?

You might find it helpful to contact recruitment companies to help you find a job. Write the best resume possible and build connections through social media and face to face.

I'm also sorry you've had a bad experience with your previous boss. Again, this is something I think you could address in therapy, especially to deal with your fear of having another bad boss. If it helps, not all workplaces have bad bosses - many are quite lovely - and your past experience is not reflective of your future ones. It might also help to remember that if you do fall in that situation again, there are measures you can take with your workplace to address bullying or any cause of concern.

As Haifa said, speak honestly with your girlfriend.

Josette

[demonblaster]

Hi Daioz and all 🙂

First up well done reaching out and opening up, can be hard & poor thing your heart racing like that, you've been & going through a lot.

Excellent advise & support from Hafa & JM

What stood out to me reading your post is understandably you're feeling despondent regarding getting IT work, but I couldn't help feeling that you've put the hard yards in that as hard as it is, keep trying, eventually life throws some positives at us.

I commend you finding other work, it's hard out there I've often heard, so many wanting work & not enough jobs but that as you've proven doesn't mean you can't get it.

You're clearly a survivor and don't give up easily, well done.

Agree talking to your girlfriend is the way to go, you are trying your hardest and that's putting extra pressure on you.

I wish you every success

Thankyou for sharing 🙂

Tc all