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Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

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Donte Turn your radio off!
  • replies: 0

If you are like me, overwhelmed and emotional about all the tragedies, afflictions, devastation and disasters that we are constantly fed through radio, newspapers, tv and social media you might want to consider switching the world off! Of course ther... View more

If you are like me, overwhelmed and emotional about all the tragedies, afflictions, devastation and disasters that we are constantly fed through radio, newspapers, tv and social media you might want to consider switching the world off! Of course there are billions of terrible things taking place as we speak and that’s unfortunate but living in a constant state of fear, sadness and helplessness, which is often what the media aims to achieve with oversensationalism and focusing on certain events and portraying them in such a way as to create emotional reactions, may be very harmful for one’s mental health and levels of stress. As if it’s not bad enough driving through morning traffic to get to work or take your children to school etc. do we have to worry also about a mudslide on the other side of the world, the extinction of rare species, a volcano about to erupt, a plane crash on another continent, a war that’s been raging somewhere, the ice melting in Antarctica, economy collapsing and possible meteor hitting the earth in 45 years from now? You get me? I don’t mean to sound selfish or careless to the state of the world around me but one has to draw a line in order to preserve whatever mental health remains before we make it to morning coffee! Breathe! Take it slow! Feel the air! Smell the rain! Just take some time each morning to switch off the world, each day, whenever it gets too much. These things won’t stop from happening. We can find out about it tomorrow. It won’t chsnge anything. Switch off. The world can wait. There are billions of amazing acts of love, kindness and care that take place each moment but I don’t see them or hear them getting broadcasted every minute of the day, repeatedly with graphic pictures and illustrations! Maybe I’ll create my own channel. Maybe I’ll broadcast my own news! Meanwhile, switch off everything and breathe. The world is still here and so are you!

Donte The gift of anxiety
  • replies: 2

Now that the festive season is officially over there's no more forced socializing and uncomfortable small talk in the name of being festive. So we are free to return to our life and enjoy some of the awesome benefits of our condition (if we suffer fr... View more

Now that the festive season is officially over there's no more forced socializing and uncomfortable small talk in the name of being festive. So we are free to return to our life and enjoy some of the awesome benefits of our condition (if we suffer from anxiety)! How, you might say? Hear me out. Anxious individuals usually are great thinkers who love learning and adding to their vast stores of specialty knowledge, even out of fear of failure. It’s no surprise that anxiety can often help us become experts in our field. Anxious people tend to gravitate toward working alone. When you’re alone, you can clear your mind and focus your thoughts. And all this deep, concentrated thinking can lead to novel solutions and brilliant ideas. Albert Einstein, the world-renowned physicist who developed the theory of relativity once said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” People who are anxious and overthink may work harder on a team because they care a lot about what others think of them. When you have an anxious person in your life, you may experience intimacy like never before. That's because anxious individuals really want to make sure that they attend to you and your needs as they do not want to be rejected or judged. - What have you learned lately? How are your ideas evolving? How are you really? They really want to know and they mean it. Anxious people tend to listen more than talk and think before they speak. They choose their words carefully because they know that once said, words can’t be retracted or easily forgotten, if at all. If an anxious person is working hard, they’re motivated from within. They are thinking of new ways to adjust. Before everyone else panics, they are already coming up with a backup plan. Quietly. If you are one of those people, spending time alone (which anxious people love to do) may help you develop more empathy, especially for people outside your social group. This is probably because being alone means you spend time reflecting. Solitude actually makes you more connected to others believe it or not. When you don’t rush things, you often make better decisions. Anxious individuals create worlds in their heads — and help create the world we live in. They can make great leaders because they know the value of being alone and focusing deeply. What's your thoughts on anxiety? Can it be looked from a positive lens? Can it be a 'gift'? Can it actually serve us, give us skills and make us truly special?

Gillian01 How to cope with single parent mother who is aging,mentally unhealthy and put more stress on daughter?
  • replies: 4

When I thought the single parenthood will only impact on young children, I’m totally wrong when my Mom keep giving me stress on my growth and new established family. My Mom is a very good mom, after the divorce with my father, she raised up me alone ... View more

When I thought the single parenthood will only impact on young children, I’m totally wrong when my Mom keep giving me stress on my growth and new established family. My Mom is a very good mom, after the divorce with my father, she raised up me alone and send me to overseas to study. I’m a lucky child because though my parents have been divorced, they did that peacefully, both of them still love me and support me emotionally and financially. However, my mom loves to give comment on my life plan, marriage and the way of raising up my own child. She is always anxious especially after menopause (she’s been diagnosed with psychasthenia and anxiety) She does not allow my father to visit me with his new wife. She is not happy with my husband. And she is angry with me about the way I raising up my own child. I tried my best not to quarrel with her as it will hurt her feeling, after all she is my mom and I know the reason that she become unhappy and negative about things is because she has been alone for so many years that she is lack of love and safety. But if I do not do as she commend she will threat me with cutting off her relationship with me. Now I have just given birth of my baby girl, my father and his wife want to visit us, my mom is so angry to hear about this and thread me again that if they stay with me she will cut off her relationship with me. I am very stressful after given birth and this thing driving me even more crazy that sometimes I cry with no reason. What shall I do? I don’t want to hurt both my mom and father’s feeling as both of them loves me so much.

blueskye How to tell your Parents that you have Mental Health Issues?
  • replies: 5

Depression and anxiety can be seen as taboo in a family household, as with many multicultural households. ** So how can you tell your parents that you have mental health issues - depression, anxiety, etc? ** With me, it didn't go down well back then.... View more

Depression and anxiety can be seen as taboo in a family household, as with many multicultural households. ** So how can you tell your parents that you have mental health issues - depression, anxiety, etc? ** With me, it didn't go down well back then. My parents saw it as being attention-seeking and immature. I wish I did it differently. If I could re-do time, I would have first told a family friend's 'aunty/uncle' who understood what mental health issues were. They would then pass it on to my parents. My parents would have listened if it came from another senior.

Donte Born This Way!
  • replies: 0

I don't know about you, but I come from a culture where from an early age it was drilled into me that you are born the way you are. We have popular sayings like 'A man is born not made!' or 'You see a madman, he was like this from small!'. So what do... View more

I don't know about you, but I come from a culture where from an early age it was drilled into me that you are born the way you are. We have popular sayings like 'A man is born not made!' or 'You see a madman, he was like this from small!'. So what does that mean in regards to mental health? How do attitudes as such affect the way we view mental illness? Are we born this way? Or does life turn us into mentally unwell individuals due to hardships and trauma that accumulates along the way and gets us to a breaking point? Is it one or the other? Or a combination of both? Does hereditary factors as well as environmental play a role? And how does one overcome obstacles posed by culture and intergenerational notions especially in the era of information and technology and upon arrival in a western country? If we are born mentally ill, is there any hope for recovery? If, on the other hand, mental illness is an outcome of hardships and trauma, does this means it goes away once those are removed from one's life? What's your belief? What are some notions around self and health and particularly mental health and illness that you grew up with? Is it healthy to challenge these? How much to we throw away and how much we keep in this ever-changing environment of information and new knowledge that we are bombarded with on a daily basis over social media and the news? Are your attitudes in this area and your deep core values unchanged or have you altered your views by migrating to Australia and getting older? Do you think you would hold the same attitudes, views, beliefs if you never left your country of origin? Are we born this way? Or do we become who we are?

Donte New Year's Resolutions?
  • replies: 6

I've been asked a few times this week what's my new year's resolutions. It's always awkward and stressful to be put on the spot like this and no matter how expected it may be (year after year), we can get caught unguarded when the question pops up. I... View more

I've been asked a few times this week what's my new year's resolutions. It's always awkward and stressful to be put on the spot like this and no matter how expected it may be (year after year), we can get caught unguarded when the question pops up. Is new year's resolutions something you are accustomed to in your culture? Even though as an idea sounds positive, to set some new goals at the beginning of a new year and plan ahead where you'd like to see yourself in a year's time, the daunting reality for many, and especially if you are battling with a mental health issue, could be that you still feel stuck, numb, unable to plan and maybe even hopeless knowing that you haven't progressed much in the year that just ended. Progress is not easy to see from the inside out. 'Have you got over your depression yet?' someone asked me. 'Still don't have a partner?', 'Have you found a job yet?', 'Didn't you say you'd start going to the gym?', etc the list goes on. Pressure is on. The message is clear: You need to change. You're not good enough as you are now. etc. There are reasons why new year's resolutions are difficult for each of us. What are they for you? What is difficult about New Year and new year's resolutions? On one hand there is the post Christmas come-down, (eat too much, drink too much, spend too much etc), then there are the New Year celebration pressures and resolutions can just add more stress to the whole thing. Many face financial pressures (not being able to afford presents, decorations, a nice meal or the latest gadgets), or social pressures (social gatherings where we feel excluded, out of place, pressured or uncomfortable). It seems to be the time of the year where people get into some sort of existential crises, plus painful memories of childhood or lost relationships or families not living in Australia bring back difficult past memories which can hurt. So how do you prepare for those awkward questions that people ask? What are some of your responses? What to say when people ask you what have you done with yourself this year? or what do you do/ about your job? or about having a partner? or other awkward questions? When asked about my resolutions I say : I try to be present instead of buying presents. I wanna wrap people I love in a hug instead of wrapping gifts. I send love instead of cards or gifts. I donate food instead of shopping for food. I make peace instead of making cookies. And finally, I wanna be the light instead of seeing the lights.

Spencerstriver How culture related stress made me feel depressed
  • replies: 9

My name is Spencer; I am a first generation immigrant from Asia. From my personal experience over the past few years, I find it is really hard to adapt myself to a new country and obtaining a permanent visa/citizenship is not an easy task. It is not ... View more

My name is Spencer; I am a first generation immigrant from Asia. From my personal experience over the past few years, I find it is really hard to adapt myself to a new country and obtaining a permanent visa/citizenship is not an easy task. It is not like taking candy from a baby, in fact, I have overcome difficulties since the first day I arrived Australia. I was diagnosed with depression a few months after I quit my first office job in Australia. At that time, I felt so stressed because so many pressures had been exerted on me at the same time. First, while I was working, I had to spend nearly three hours on traveling between home and work every working day, indeed. I need to buy a car. But I have to get Australian driver’s license after grant of permanent visa. Believe or not, I failed the road test three times even after I practiced more than 50 hours with a professional instructor. I was so frustrated and I couldn’t believe I failed again and again. Second, I was planning to get my accountant certificate, so I booked an exam, paid fees online and then study materials would be sent to me. However, they sent a parcel to the wrong place and did not arrange redelivery until one month later. This certainly distorted my entire plan and made me worried a lot. What was worse, the process of being a certified accountant in Australia is quite different from my home country. The job I was doing does not satisfy the requirement in Australia, so I questioned my ability and totally confused about my future. Perhaps family pressure was the last straw for me. In my culture, a man is supposed to be independent at the age of thirty, and it usually implies that I should possess a good and stable job, a vehicle and a house. My parents urged me to buy a house in Australia and they planned to sell their own house in order to help me pay for the deposit. Parental love is great, but it made me feel guilty. All these things happened in three months and finally I exploded and quit my job. After being unemployed for a few months, I became depressed and attempted suicide. When I came back to life, I changed my mind. There are so many people living in poverty, illiteracy and war zones, and they still struggling to live no matter what happened to them. Maybe I was chosen to go through these difficulties, so all I need to do is to find the best way to cope with problems, build up my resistance to stress and carry on.

Nohopeforme Even right now I think no one will understand me
  • replies: 13

I used to self-harm when I was younger and I have started again. I hate myself. I always doubt myself. Even right now I think no one will understand me. My English is bad, I'm so stupid. Nothing really good about me besides my children. I want to to ... View more

I used to self-harm when I was younger and I have started again. I hate myself. I always doubt myself. Even right now I think no one will understand me. My English is bad, I'm so stupid. Nothing really good about me besides my children. I want to to stop the pain I really do but it's hurts everytime I wake. I don't like it anymore. My family is horrible to me why because I'm 35 just starting Uni. My family are all educated and I'm the only one who's stuffed, not good enough. Family supposed to love you not to mess you up. My mother said she wish she aborted me why though? Because I'm not good enough. My boys I'm sorry Mum is really trying but it's too hard. I'm not giving up but I wish someone will just tell me you're OK but knowing my luck I will be forever like this. I hate myself.

Donte Dead or Alive
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People have various beliefs and views about death and dying and the responses to the end of life vary from individual to individual. Even within the same cultural and religious groups not everyone views death the same. Not two people grieve in the sa... View more

People have various beliefs and views about death and dying and the responses to the end of life vary from individual to individual. Even within the same cultural and religious groups not everyone views death the same. Not two people grieve in the same way. Death is and has always been a mystery in every culture and era throughout history. From the day we become aware of ourselves and the world around us we realize that everything comes to an end. Plants, animals, day, night, seasons and people are not exempt from this natural order. Religions, philosophies, literature, art, music etc has tried to encapsulate this experience and provide answers to the human condition. Death is feared by many and celebrated by others. Some view it as the end, others as another beginning. No matter what our belief is, one thing is for sure, on the day we die a lot of things will happen. Nothing will remain the same. The world won't stand still of course. But we won't be attending any of the important appointments and arrangements we made. The many ideas, dreams and plans we had yet to complete will remain forever undone. We won't need the calendar or diary or smartphone anymore to dictate and remind us our next move. Clothes, money, property, furniture, cars etc and whatever we worked hard for will swap hands. We won't care anymore about the criticisms and judgements that people put on us. We won't be answering any messages and texts. Calls will go unanswered. Nothing will be urgent anymore. We won't worry about our waistline or hairline or frown lines or our image, and reputation. All the anxieties, the pain and depression, the panic attacks and suffering that stole sleep from us will be rendered powerless. But, above all, on the day that we die, the few people who really know and truly love us will grieve deeply. They will feel a void. A part of them will died as well. I know this from those I love and grieve over. So I try to remember that my time is finite and I do my best not to waste a second of it. I don't want to be robbed of the joy of living NOW with those who love me and want only to share it with me. I don’t want to miss the chance to laugh, sing, dance with them, while I can. Yes, we all going to die one day. But before that day comes let us live, every day, every moment. Mental anxiety, depression and sadness, fear, stress, emotional pain can steal our joy and peace and make us truly unhappy and miserable. Let's not let them steal our life away.

Donte What's suicide in your language?
  • replies: 19

Many people from various cultural groups do not talk about suicide. It is commonly believed that if we mention the word suicide we will give ideas to people who may be vulnerable and they may start considering taking their own lives. Many religious f... View more

Many people from various cultural groups do not talk about suicide. It is commonly believed that if we mention the word suicide we will give ideas to people who may be vulnerable and they may start considering taking their own lives. Many religious families and groups won't disclose when a member commits suicide out of shame, guilt, fear and embarrassment as many religions claims that taking one's life is sinful and the person who commits suicide will go to eternal damnation. In many cultures, priests and religious leaders refuse to bury people inside the cemetery walls if the deceased had taken their own life. Many grow up in a culture of stigma perpetuated by religious dogma. So how do we start this difficult conversation with people to help them with managing negative feelings, and initiate steps to making positive changes? Especially when no one community is the same and there is great diversity within each culture and their subcultures and groups within them.Before starting the conversation we would need to understand the risks factors and vulnerabilities to suicide, fear and stigma associated with mental health problems, varying traditions when discussing sensitive subjects and concerns around confidentiality.The migration process can be challenging for many as it involves considerable changes to physical, social, cultural and economic environments. If someone has escaped war, or being a victim of trauma or torture, their levels of stress may be higher and may greatly impact on the development of suicidal behavior. The process of change experienced when living in a new country has been linked to stress and emotional problems including anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation, alienation and low self-esteem. Additionally, experiencing racism and discrimination upon arrival to a new country may lead to further isolation and withdrawal which could exacerbate mental health issues. Many things can stop people from seeking help including language barriers, limited knowledge about available services and resources and how to navigate these, stigma, religious beliefs and concerns about confidentiality, especially in certain communities when everyone knows everybody. So what's suicide in your language? How do you start this difficult chat with someone? And where do you go for help? Would the same things that applied back in your country at the time of your migration be relevant here? Let's talk suicide, shall we?