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Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

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Gillian01 How to cope with single parent mother who is aging,mentally unhealthy and put more stress on daughter?
  • replies: 4

When I thought the single parenthood will only impact on young children, I’m totally wrong when my Mom keep giving me stress on my growth and new established family. My Mom is a very good mom, after the divorce with my father, she raised up me alone ... View more

When I thought the single parenthood will only impact on young children, I’m totally wrong when my Mom keep giving me stress on my growth and new established family. My Mom is a very good mom, after the divorce with my father, she raised up me alone and send me to overseas to study. I’m a lucky child because though my parents have been divorced, they did that peacefully, both of them still love me and support me emotionally and financially. However, my mom loves to give comment on my life plan, marriage and the way of raising up my own child. She is always anxious especially after menopause (she’s been diagnosed with psychasthenia and anxiety) She does not allow my father to visit me with his new wife. She is not happy with my husband. And she is angry with me about the way I raising up my own child. I tried my best not to quarrel with her as it will hurt her feeling, after all she is my mom and I know the reason that she become unhappy and negative about things is because she has been alone for so many years that she is lack of love and safety. But if I do not do as she commend she will threat me with cutting off her relationship with me. Now I have just given birth of my baby girl, my father and his wife want to visit us, my mom is so angry to hear about this and thread me again that if they stay with me she will cut off her relationship with me. I am very stressful after given birth and this thing driving me even more crazy that sometimes I cry with no reason. What shall I do? I don’t want to hurt both my mom and father’s feeling as both of them loves me so much.

blueskye How to tell your Parents that you have Mental Health Issues?
  • replies: 5

Depression and anxiety can be seen as taboo in a family household, as with many multicultural households. ** So how can you tell your parents that you have mental health issues - depression, anxiety, etc? ** With me, it didn't go down well back then.... View more

Depression and anxiety can be seen as taboo in a family household, as with many multicultural households. ** So how can you tell your parents that you have mental health issues - depression, anxiety, etc? ** With me, it didn't go down well back then. My parents saw it as being attention-seeking and immature. I wish I did it differently. If I could re-do time, I would have first told a family friend's 'aunty/uncle' who understood what mental health issues were. They would then pass it on to my parents. My parents would have listened if it came from another senior.

Donte Born This Way!
  • replies: 0

I don't know about you, but I come from a culture where from an early age it was drilled into me that you are born the way you are. We have popular sayings like 'A man is born not made!' or 'You see a madman, he was like this from small!'. So what do... View more

I don't know about you, but I come from a culture where from an early age it was drilled into me that you are born the way you are. We have popular sayings like 'A man is born not made!' or 'You see a madman, he was like this from small!'. So what does that mean in regards to mental health? How do attitudes as such affect the way we view mental illness? Are we born this way? Or does life turn us into mentally unwell individuals due to hardships and trauma that accumulates along the way and gets us to a breaking point? Is it one or the other? Or a combination of both? Does hereditary factors as well as environmental play a role? And how does one overcome obstacles posed by culture and intergenerational notions especially in the era of information and technology and upon arrival in a western country? If we are born mentally ill, is there any hope for recovery? If, on the other hand, mental illness is an outcome of hardships and trauma, does this means it goes away once those are removed from one's life? What's your belief? What are some notions around self and health and particularly mental health and illness that you grew up with? Is it healthy to challenge these? How much to we throw away and how much we keep in this ever-changing environment of information and new knowledge that we are bombarded with on a daily basis over social media and the news? Are your attitudes in this area and your deep core values unchanged or have you altered your views by migrating to Australia and getting older? Do you think you would hold the same attitudes, views, beliefs if you never left your country of origin? Are we born this way? Or do we become who we are?

Donte New Year's Resolutions?
  • replies: 6

I've been asked a few times this week what's my new year's resolutions. It's always awkward and stressful to be put on the spot like this and no matter how expected it may be (year after year), we can get caught unguarded when the question pops up. I... View more

I've been asked a few times this week what's my new year's resolutions. It's always awkward and stressful to be put on the spot like this and no matter how expected it may be (year after year), we can get caught unguarded when the question pops up. Is new year's resolutions something you are accustomed to in your culture? Even though as an idea sounds positive, to set some new goals at the beginning of a new year and plan ahead where you'd like to see yourself in a year's time, the daunting reality for many, and especially if you are battling with a mental health issue, could be that you still feel stuck, numb, unable to plan and maybe even hopeless knowing that you haven't progressed much in the year that just ended. Progress is not easy to see from the inside out. 'Have you got over your depression yet?' someone asked me. 'Still don't have a partner?', 'Have you found a job yet?', 'Didn't you say you'd start going to the gym?', etc the list goes on. Pressure is on. The message is clear: You need to change. You're not good enough as you are now. etc. There are reasons why new year's resolutions are difficult for each of us. What are they for you? What is difficult about New Year and new year's resolutions? On one hand there is the post Christmas come-down, (eat too much, drink too much, spend too much etc), then there are the New Year celebration pressures and resolutions can just add more stress to the whole thing. Many face financial pressures (not being able to afford presents, decorations, a nice meal or the latest gadgets), or social pressures (social gatherings where we feel excluded, out of place, pressured or uncomfortable). It seems to be the time of the year where people get into some sort of existential crises, plus painful memories of childhood or lost relationships or families not living in Australia bring back difficult past memories which can hurt. So how do you prepare for those awkward questions that people ask? What are some of your responses? What to say when people ask you what have you done with yourself this year? or what do you do/ about your job? or about having a partner? or other awkward questions? When asked about my resolutions I say : I try to be present instead of buying presents. I wanna wrap people I love in a hug instead of wrapping gifts. I send love instead of cards or gifts. I donate food instead of shopping for food. I make peace instead of making cookies. And finally, I wanna be the light instead of seeing the lights.

Spencerstriver How culture related stress made me feel depressed
  • replies: 9

My name is Spencer; I am a first generation immigrant from Asia. From my personal experience over the past few years, I find it is really hard to adapt myself to a new country and obtaining a permanent visa/citizenship is not an easy task. It is not ... View more

My name is Spencer; I am a first generation immigrant from Asia. From my personal experience over the past few years, I find it is really hard to adapt myself to a new country and obtaining a permanent visa/citizenship is not an easy task. It is not like taking candy from a baby, in fact, I have overcome difficulties since the first day I arrived Australia. I was diagnosed with depression a few months after I quit my first office job in Australia. At that time, I felt so stressed because so many pressures had been exerted on me at the same time. First, while I was working, I had to spend nearly three hours on traveling between home and work every working day, indeed. I need to buy a car. But I have to get Australian driver’s license after grant of permanent visa. Believe or not, I failed the road test three times even after I practiced more than 50 hours with a professional instructor. I was so frustrated and I couldn’t believe I failed again and again. Second, I was planning to get my accountant certificate, so I booked an exam, paid fees online and then study materials would be sent to me. However, they sent a parcel to the wrong place and did not arrange redelivery until one month later. This certainly distorted my entire plan and made me worried a lot. What was worse, the process of being a certified accountant in Australia is quite different from my home country. The job I was doing does not satisfy the requirement in Australia, so I questioned my ability and totally confused about my future. Perhaps family pressure was the last straw for me. In my culture, a man is supposed to be independent at the age of thirty, and it usually implies that I should possess a good and stable job, a vehicle and a house. My parents urged me to buy a house in Australia and they planned to sell their own house in order to help me pay for the deposit. Parental love is great, but it made me feel guilty. All these things happened in three months and finally I exploded and quit my job. After being unemployed for a few months, I became depressed and attempted suicide. When I came back to life, I changed my mind. There are so many people living in poverty, illiteracy and war zones, and they still struggling to live no matter what happened to them. Maybe I was chosen to go through these difficulties, so all I need to do is to find the best way to cope with problems, build up my resistance to stress and carry on.

Nohopeforme Even right now I think no one will understand me
  • replies: 13

I used to self-harm when I was younger and I have started again. I hate myself. I always doubt myself. Even right now I think no one will understand me. My English is bad, I'm so stupid. Nothing really good about me besides my children. I want to to ... View more

I used to self-harm when I was younger and I have started again. I hate myself. I always doubt myself. Even right now I think no one will understand me. My English is bad, I'm so stupid. Nothing really good about me besides my children. I want to to stop the pain I really do but it's hurts everytime I wake. I don't like it anymore. My family is horrible to me why because I'm 35 just starting Uni. My family are all educated and I'm the only one who's stuffed, not good enough. Family supposed to love you not to mess you up. My mother said she wish she aborted me why though? Because I'm not good enough. My boys I'm sorry Mum is really trying but it's too hard. I'm not giving up but I wish someone will just tell me you're OK but knowing my luck I will be forever like this. I hate myself.

Donte Dead or Alive
  • replies: 2

People have various beliefs and views about death and dying and the responses to the end of life vary from individual to individual. Even within the same cultural and religious groups not everyone views death the same. Not two people grieve in the sa... View more

People have various beliefs and views about death and dying and the responses to the end of life vary from individual to individual. Even within the same cultural and religious groups not everyone views death the same. Not two people grieve in the same way. Death is and has always been a mystery in every culture and era throughout history. From the day we become aware of ourselves and the world around us we realize that everything comes to an end. Plants, animals, day, night, seasons and people are not exempt from this natural order. Religions, philosophies, literature, art, music etc has tried to encapsulate this experience and provide answers to the human condition. Death is feared by many and celebrated by others. Some view it as the end, others as another beginning. No matter what our belief is, one thing is for sure, on the day we die a lot of things will happen. Nothing will remain the same. The world won't stand still of course. But we won't be attending any of the important appointments and arrangements we made. The many ideas, dreams and plans we had yet to complete will remain forever undone. We won't need the calendar or diary or smartphone anymore to dictate and remind us our next move. Clothes, money, property, furniture, cars etc and whatever we worked hard for will swap hands. We won't care anymore about the criticisms and judgements that people put on us. We won't be answering any messages and texts. Calls will go unanswered. Nothing will be urgent anymore. We won't worry about our waistline or hairline or frown lines or our image, and reputation. All the anxieties, the pain and depression, the panic attacks and suffering that stole sleep from us will be rendered powerless. But, above all, on the day that we die, the few people who really know and truly love us will grieve deeply. They will feel a void. A part of them will died as well. I know this from those I love and grieve over. So I try to remember that my time is finite and I do my best not to waste a second of it. I don't want to be robbed of the joy of living NOW with those who love me and want only to share it with me. I don’t want to miss the chance to laugh, sing, dance with them, while I can. Yes, we all going to die one day. But before that day comes let us live, every day, every moment. Mental anxiety, depression and sadness, fear, stress, emotional pain can steal our joy and peace and make us truly unhappy and miserable. Let's not let them steal our life away.

Donte What's suicide in your language?
  • replies: 19

Many people from various cultural groups do not talk about suicide. It is commonly believed that if we mention the word suicide we will give ideas to people who may be vulnerable and they may start considering taking their own lives. Many religious f... View more

Many people from various cultural groups do not talk about suicide. It is commonly believed that if we mention the word suicide we will give ideas to people who may be vulnerable and they may start considering taking their own lives. Many religious families and groups won't disclose when a member commits suicide out of shame, guilt, fear and embarrassment as many religions claims that taking one's life is sinful and the person who commits suicide will go to eternal damnation. In many cultures, priests and religious leaders refuse to bury people inside the cemetery walls if the deceased had taken their own life. Many grow up in a culture of stigma perpetuated by religious dogma. So how do we start this difficult conversation with people to help them with managing negative feelings, and initiate steps to making positive changes? Especially when no one community is the same and there is great diversity within each culture and their subcultures and groups within them.Before starting the conversation we would need to understand the risks factors and vulnerabilities to suicide, fear and stigma associated with mental health problems, varying traditions when discussing sensitive subjects and concerns around confidentiality.The migration process can be challenging for many as it involves considerable changes to physical, social, cultural and economic environments. If someone has escaped war, or being a victim of trauma or torture, their levels of stress may be higher and may greatly impact on the development of suicidal behavior. The process of change experienced when living in a new country has been linked to stress and emotional problems including anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation, alienation and low self-esteem. Additionally, experiencing racism and discrimination upon arrival to a new country may lead to further isolation and withdrawal which could exacerbate mental health issues. Many things can stop people from seeking help including language barriers, limited knowledge about available services and resources and how to navigate these, stigma, religious beliefs and concerns about confidentiality, especially in certain communities when everyone knows everybody. So what's suicide in your language? How do you start this difficult chat with someone? And where do you go for help? Would the same things that applied back in your country at the time of your migration be relevant here? Let's talk suicide, shall we?

Stompy Dysthymia not treated over ten or more years.
  • replies: 5

Dysthymia destroyed my life. I recently had an IQ test and all other tests you could come up with, showed no physical or intellectual impairments within me. In fact, my IQ is higher than 100 (just average, I know) despite the 5 hours of sleep before ... View more

Dysthymia destroyed my life. I recently had an IQ test and all other tests you could come up with, showed no physical or intellectual impairments within me. In fact, my IQ is higher than 100 (just average, I know) despite the 5 hours of sleep before the day. The psychologist who conducted the test said my intelligence shouldn't have been an issue to finish the university degree (in Mathematics and Economics). I still could not accept the fact that Depression was an hindrance to completion of the degree. My dysthymia, or prolonged mild depression turned into a serious clinical depression since last year, and I turned 30 this year. I was first diagnosed with Depression by GP ten or more years ago. Back then I was an international student and the medical fees were ridiculously expensive, though I had an oversees student health cover. I originally came from South Korea and my parents were both physically and verbally abusive and I was never diagnosed or treated before the first visit to this Australian GP. I was also badly abandoned and neglected by my home-stay families in Australia. She put me on medication and I thought that was the only solution I could have. I didn't have options to seek psychologists or psychiatrists due to limited amount of money sent by my father. I knew either of my insomnia, anxiety, agoraphobia or low level of concentration was not fixed but at least it kept me going without suicidal thoughts. I went to the university without any motivation and let the years flow... my whole ten years or more were just wasted. The GP asked a question like "how are you?" and I came up with "not bad", or "my concentration is still bad"... She was satisfied with my answer and didn't initiate further treatment over ten, goddamn years. I couldn't go back to Korea to get treated. My parents were frightening and Korea was never a place to people with depression. Just like university studies, I couldn't be committed to any kind of job or work. A few months was the longest I could handle. I don't have any referee or job experience as a result of that. I got married this year to a man I have always loved since high school. I now could afford new medications and doctors but I think it's too late to start all over... I am tired. If I fail again this time, I don't know what would happen to me. I just want a normal life, having a stable job and talking about it with my friends. Is this too much to ask? I wish, I was never born.

Donte Religious or Spiritual?
  • replies: 10

The World Health Organization defined health in its broader sense in its 1948 constitution as "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." And mental health as “a state of well-bein... View more

The World Health Organization defined health in its broader sense in its 1948 constitution as "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." And mental health as “a state of well-being in which every individual realizes their own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to their community.” Many view spirituality as inextricably linked to mental health and quality of life founded on the principle that spiritual needs are intrinsic to humanity. Meaningful living is linked to a sense of purpose and is at the heart of quality of life for all people. Everyone has spiritual needs regardless of faith, beliefs and religion or the lack of. Unmet spiritual needs may manifest themselves in a range of ways such as depression, anxiety, hopelessness, challenging behaviors and ongoing dissatisfaction. Being spiritually healthy is associated with increased learning, creativity and productivity, more pro-social behavior and positive social relationships, and with improved physical health and life expectancy! Mental health is about being cognitively, emotionally and socially healthy – the way we think, feel and develop relationships. Each individual defines and express the universal idea of spirituality within the context of their culture and society. But is there a way to measure the benefits of spirituality on mental health? Could spirituality contribute to the prevention of mental health conditions, and/or support people who have experienced these conditions to get as well as they can and lead full and contributing lives? Having social connections, good personal relationships and being part of a community are vital to maintaining good mental health and contribute to people's recovery, should they become unwell. However, spiritual care is often conflated with religious and pastoral care. This has caused many people to avoid spirituality altogether, leaving spiritual needs unmet, especially if they are from a culturally or linguistically diverse background. Spirituality could positively contribute to well being if it is inclusive of activities that focus on meaning, purpose and connection as well as overall resilience building. What's your experience of spirituality and how, if, it relates to your mental health?