How childhood beliefs from other cultures influence your life in Australia

[Donte]

I grew up in a culture where the beliefs that 'whatever happens in the home stays in the home' and 'the world is evil and no one wants you to succeed' have impacted on the way people relate and deal with issues within the family, often excluding others and rejecting external supports. This affects directly not only the person struggling to understand their mental illness but also the family, friends and relatives and everyone that surrounds them.

Many people who have migrated in Australia continue operating under the same belief systems they embraced in the society where they grew up. Those first impressions and knowledge of the world around us, coloured by the familial, cultural and religious spectrum is at the core of our thinking and acting and influences who we are, no matter how many times we migrated and how many languages we learnt or qualifications we achieved.

If you carry in your core value a belief that says 'the world is evil and everyone is out there to get you' it makes sense that you will try to protect yourself and loved ones from the 'world'. It makes sense that you won't open up and talk about your issues or whatever troubles your family. You won't easily reach out. You won't want to be ridiculed, judged, criticised, marginalized, discriminated, disadvantaged etc.

How have notions from early childhood and growing up in a different culture, tradition, beliefs etc have influenced the way you live today here in Australia? How have these affected your ability to reach out? To include others in your struggle? To seek professional help?

[Donte]

Thank you Pepper,

Life is pretty tough for everyone in different ways, especially growing up no matter what era you are born, and trying to separate yourself from your parent’s identities and develop as a unique individual within your cultural context.

Of course sexual orientation, gender, migration, family experiences, abuse, illness, poverty, relationship breakdown, isolation from peers and relatives and harassment/ridicule due to differences in religion etc may impact someone in ways that could be traumatic and shape their identity further embedding stigma, shame and fragmentation that could lead to mental health issues later on in life.

Despite this though, there are also positives. There’s immense strength and resilience that one can develop even out of stubbornness and anger and determination to not give in into the bulling.

In my case, most certainly it seems that these hardships have pushed me to become a strong, independent, resilient individual who always bounces back and has survived severe traumas and still smiles and often laughs at the face of challenge and adversity.

Looking back, I’m very thankful for my wounds. Without this trauma I wouldn’t be who I am today: The courageous, bold, honest, authentic individual that I am and perhaps I wouldn’t be here chatting with everyone else in these forums.

Breaking from tradition and religion wasn’t really a conscious option I guess but rather the only possibility if I was to become me. Otherwise, I would have to remain married, continue living a lie and a life less than fulfilling and would have never reached my maximum potential in life out of fear of breaking the mould.

Its good to dare. Dare to be different. And anything we have ever learnt it means we can unlearn it. And relearn it. Mine is a life of unlearning!

All those honoring traditions and following the well-known paths that others have created before them (there’s nothing wrong with that), could benefit by reminding themselves that the person who first initiated that very same tradition they honor and hold so sacredly, was the one who broke all the pre existing traditions of his/her time in order to develop this path. It was a rebel. An outsider. Someone who didn’t fit in. Every leader of every religion or philosophy or any ideology that people follow as an absolute truth, has at some point broken traditions and moulds. There’s no other way shaping a new path. To build a road you need to chop down trees and clear the path. 🙂

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’,

You’re most welcome 🙂

Life has certainly been a big learning curve for you. Another beautiful post.

I really enjoyed reading your point about how breaking tradition and defying expectations was more of a necessity (i.e. to live a life feeling true to yourself) than a conscious decision. That makes a lot of sense. I feel a lot of people who break traditions have a similar mentality whether it’s to be true to themselves, believe certain traditions are oppressive, feel they are at odds with basic human rights, etc.

I must admit it confuses me a little when some people follow tradition purely because it’s the “done thing.” I understand if they have thought it through and have decided that they genuinely see value in certain traditions. But I find it mind boggling when some people honour traditions and their main rationale is “because it’s what we’ve always done.” Um, okay...

Thanks again for sharing. Always a pleasure to hear from you.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper