Hello Pepper,
Thank you for replying. It’s always nice to hear from you. I feel encouraged and supported by your comments.
I understand what you’re saying. Not being happy about the trauma but appreciative from what we’ve learnt as an outcome.
It’s great when we can get past the pain of the wounds left and learn something from the experience. It makes us aware, insightful, mindful, and we expand ourselves and grow through the experience.
I often wish I did it have to go through the traumas in order to learn but I can only do whatever I can with what I got in my hands right now. Can’t change what’s done or wipe out the past. I’m confronted daily with the new reality and have choices on how to deal or react/respond to this.
I hear you loud and clear when you say you don’t want to be someone who’s identity is wrapped around their struggles.
Once upon a time I used to attend support groups for people living with my illness, or groups for single parents, groups for LGBTI, groups for this and groups for that...I used to attend counseling and read everything I could find around issues that surrounded me at the time. I felt I had to do this. In due time, decades later, I’m in no need to be so intensely focused on my Illness and neither do I crave support in the way I used to in the early days of my diagnosis.
There is a place for support and services and reaching out for help but there is also a time when one needs to recognize that it’s time to stand on their own two feet. I also didn’t want to be defined by my illness or my divorce or my assault or bankruptcy etc. I didn’t want to be just that because I am more - much more - than all that.
So, the time came when I started giving back to my community, to my peers, to others who go through similar hardships. I became a volunteer. I got involved with welfare and family relationships and mental health services and supports.
Nowadays, being a spokesperson, an advocate, an educator providing information and peer support helps me dealing with my own traumas without identifying with them.
I now come from a place of eagerness to help others and support them and not necessarily from a place or seeking help.
In the process though, I receive enormous support and help and feel connected and strong.
Often we forget our pain as we try to help someone else and the learnings and gaining along the way are immeasurable. X
