Dare to be different.

[Donte]

Sometimes it’s good to do things a bit differently than usual. it helps break routine, expand your knowledge and develop new neuropathways in your brain. This can lead to new mindsets that are serving us and support us instead of battle with us and drain us.

Take a new route home. Improvise a new meal. Wear something different. Listen to new music. Whatever it may be: try to do at least one new thing each day.

We are all easily comfortable with the familiar. The path well traveled seems easy and less challenging. However, it could be cultural notions and religious beliefs or superstitions that has led us to a place where we doubt our own selves and feel defeated.

Tonight I cooked a traditional recipe of stuffed vegetables with rice and herbs but added meat and chicken stock. The dish turned out delicious but I wouldn’t have known unless I was willing to take the risk, experiment and see what happens.

Does anyone else apply this principle in their lives? How has it helped you? How do others perceive you because of it? And do you mind?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’,

As always, another thoughtful thread topic 🙂

Yes, sometimes the familiar can feel very comfortable but it can also be good to try something new/different too.

I like how you gave that traditional recipe your own “twist” to it. I think that principle can be helpful to apply to cultural traditions more broadly too.

I feel those are pretty challenging questions to answer in a single post. Lol. I’ll simply say my personal issue is I don’t mind so much if people don’t agree with my worldview; I’m okay if people disagree. But what I do wish is for my worldview to be accepted as equally valid and worthy as more traditional world views. I hope what I’m trying to express makes some sense...

Thanks Donte’!

Pepper xoxo

[Donte]

Hello Pepper,

I love it too when people disagree.

It gives us the chance to explore our viewpoints, analyze and communicate. And the process of doing all this help us expand and grow as individuals.

Each worldview is equally valid and worthy. We are our only benchmark and there is no need for comparisons.

Truth and reality are very subjective and depended on individual experiences.

I love hearing a different point of view and being challenged with different thought processes and ideas. It’s one of the most stimulating things in life.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.

Well said!

Generally speaking, I agree that theoretically each worldview is equally valid. Although I feel sometimes certain worldviews dominate and can try to invalidate other ones...i.e. so-called norms trying to “squash” alternative ways of thinking.

On a related note and this is just my opinion but I feel this is where many of us struggle as humans; I feel not many of us are very good at respectfully disagreeing and sometimes we can get so caught up in trying to “win” an argument rather than trying to understand...what do you think?

Kind thoughts,

Pepper xoxo

[Donte]

I agree Pepper.

It is very easy to believe that our views and beliefs are the 'right' ones.

Everyone believes their faith is the truth. Thus, everything else is a lie. World religions, politics, nations etc are build on this premise: 'we are the right one, you are false'. That's human nature.

At some primal level it probably goes back to our pre-evolutionary stage as primates.

The truth is most of us listen to respond and not to understand. And we live in such a fast-paced technological world that we often do not have time to process, reflect and consider other points of view or ideas or lifestyles. We are easily swayed by our emotions and manipulated by the media and culture to follow the path like sheep.

Luckily, here and there there's a black one that stands out...

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’,

Thank you so much for the thoughtful, insightful post 🙂 Much appreciated, as always...

Yes, I feel you have a highly valid point about how humans can sometimes have an “us” and “them” mentality. On the one hand, I suppose this mentality helps some people validate their own sense of identity. But then on the other hand, I feel this kind of attitude can also hinder understanding, growth and mutual respect...

I see your point about the media and agree to an extent. I feel it can definitely play a role in swaying opinions. But I feel the media, though powerful, is one of many elements. I also think schools, families, communities, etc can play a huge role in shaping minds.

There’s a very famous saying about how you end up being like the 5 people you spend the most time with. I’m not sure if that’s true or not and I’m pretty sure it’s not meant to be taken too literally.

But I understand the sentiment of the quote about how “like attracts like. “ As in most people tend to secretly like people who are similar because it validates their own worldview. I wonder what do you think?

Always good to hear from you.

Warm and caring thoughts,

Pepper xoxo

[Donte]

Hi Pepper,

Thank you for your insightful response.

Opposites attract, however, similars stay closer together for longer periods.

My mum always said: ‘Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are’...It’s a common Greek phrase.

Some interesting points...

I think when younger, generally is easier to make friends and the approach to the world is so much more innocent and pure.

The older I get, the more I realize that it’s not easy to find people that are similar with me and/or have interest or need to connect. I’m set in my own ways and enjoy not having to explain myself and argue etc with others. I seek solitude and would prefer a walk alone on the beach or park with my dog anytime over spending this time with people. I feel tired and drained most of the times and this could also be attributed to my mental health condition but not only.

Personally, I haven’t got many friends nowadays. Definitely not anyone to communicate in a daily or weekly basis. I have many acquaintances and some feel we are friends, however, from my perspective there’s no need to engage or spend time with anymore.

It could be due to the technological advances that have filled the ‘gap’ in terms of needing to engage. Netflix, Stan, social media and internet pretty much keep us constantly engaged and connected without having moved from our chair.

We now communicate with thousands around the world instantly and that provides us with stimulation and fills our day with interactions which do not require us to dress up, get ready, get out and meet someone. It’s easier. It’s faster. It meets the needs. Even this forum, is all part of that! Instead of talking with my neighbor this morning, I chat with you in here while drinking my coffee and enjoying my breakfast. Alone. But not lonely.

On the other hand, some argue that we are more isolated and disconnected than ever before.

I think as long as we are happy, not bored, engaged and mentally stimulated, it doesn’t really matter how we connect. We still connect. And technology is shaping us and changing us and affects our lifestyle and relationships. Good or bad, it’s here to stay. X

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Donte’ (and all readers),

I think it’s great that you’re comfortable in your own company, and that you usually prefer to spend time with your dog rather than with other people. I feel that’s completely okay and good for you 🙂

Maybe you’ve just reached a point where you’re just very self aware and know what you like/dislike and can/can’t tolerate. I like your strong sense of self awareness.

Personally, and this is just my opinion, I feel it matters less how we communicate so long as it works for us. Some people prefer face-to-face conversations. Some people are happy with online interactions. Some like phone calls. Some probably like a combination. Etc...

I suppose what I’m getting at is I feel there’s no definitive right or wrong with communication. I feel there is a pro and con with pretty much every form of communication so it’s more about finding what works for us personally 🙂

Always good to hear from you 🙂

Pepper xoxo

[Donte]

Thank you Peppermintbach for your insightful reply.

I have to agree with you. Very nicely summed up.

No matter what or how, we still communicating, right now. X

[Elizabeth CP]

Getting back to the original question 'Can daring to be different help you' If you look at children playing happily they do what they want without the rules. The other day my grandsons were wearing new onsies & wanted to be dragged along the polished floor by their legs as they screamed with delight. They didn't think 'is this appropriate or sensible but just enjoyed the moment.

As adults we get caught into the trap of being sensible & sticking to what we know works or is generally accepted. While that can be helpful in avoiding difficulties & ensuring we get what we expect but it stops us from experiencing new things & stops us breaking out of a rut.

Years ago I took a huge risk & moved overseas with my husband. It was scary & a few times things went wrong & I wondered what I was doing but it broke us out of our normal routine & every weekend we would explore new places & had lots of great experiences. On Nov 5 'Guy Fawkes night in England' I wanted to be part of the fun but had nowhere to go. Looking out our window we saw family groups walking past so we followed them to see if they went anywhere interesting. Probably not a normal sensible thing to do!!! We ended up at a local pub with a massive bonfire at the back & fireworks. Several hundred people were crowded into the small area watching the fire & fireworks many of them young children. It was such fun enjoying the atmosphere. I was glad we took the risk of following the people with no idea what was ahead of us.

It is hard when you feel depressed or anxious or life has thrown some nasty situations at you to push yourself out of your comfort zone & take a risk. It is easy to see all the things which could go wrong but this is the time you most need to try something new to get a spark back in your life.