CALD Multicultural issues and loneliness

[Usako]

Hello everyone, thank you for reading my post.

I could not find a thread for this topic, so if you find this post to be a duplicate please let me know.

I was born overseas and I am very limited linguistically which hinders me to interact with people confidently.

People seem to feel uncomfortable taking with me because they can't understand me and I misunderstand them.

I have lived in Australia for over 10 years but I still have great difficulty in speaking in English.

I have been trying to improve my English and avoiding using my own language because my English seems to get worse when I use my own language.

I feel very lonely because I have no friends or family in Australia.

Also my family members don't have strong connections.

I hope I can get some help with overcoming the issue.

Thank you.

[james1]

Hi Usako,

Welcome to the forums. I am really happy to meet you here because we have so many people in Australia who were born overseas but find it very lonely, but do not know how to find help for their mental health.

I hope that there are others like you who perhaps are not confident in their English, but gain confidence to post as well when they read your post. (which, by the way, was very clearly and well written! good job)

Feeling lonely is really really difficult, especially for people born overseas. My parents are from Guangzhou in China, but I was born in Australia. So in a way I am quite lucky, because I have my parents here and can speak the language. However, we have no extended family here and my parents are separated anyway. So in a way, it kind of feels like I have no family here except the friends I make. It makes "family time" quite hard for me.

I have made many friends with people who were born overseas and one thing they have all talked about is a thing called "MeetUp.com". I live in Sydney and we have a number of Meet Up groups which are specifically for international people to meet others and try to practice English. Since most people have English as a second language, they find it easier and less awkward.

Do you think something like that would help you develop confidence in speaking English?

Another option is to see if you have a GP who is able to speak your language. It's so important to be able to speak about your feelings and, in my own experience trying to communicate in Cantonese or Mandarin, it can be easier to do this in a language we know fluently. Do you have a good GP at the moment?

I hope we can keep talking here. I'd love to hear more about you if you would like to speak.

James

[baet123]

Hey Usako,

Welcome to the forums and great to have you as a new addition to our community. People here are great and are non-judgmental and offer great advice.

I commend you for sharing your story with us mate. That is extremely brave and courageous of you. Hats off to you!

I am currently on work placement and most of the clients I deal with are CALD clients. I have learnt so much from them and multiculturalism is a beautiful phenomenon. I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling the way you do but it will get better mate.

If you let me know what city you are in I can recommend more specific options that might interest you but here are some things you can look into if you are in Sydney:

- Meetup like James said above is great. This is a great way to connect with people and share your experiences and learn from one another. This will improve your English skills as well as improve your social network and meet new people.

- Your local council also may offer free English classes 🙂

Depending on whether you live in a heavily populated migrant suburb, your opportunities to socialise and receive English classes will be there. You can also try searching on google or social media website community based groups from your country of origin or any other ethnicity and find like minded people and start from there.

It will get better mate and stay positive.

If you wish to tell me what city you reside in I can further assist you.

All the best mate and look forward to hearing from you.

Baet123.

[Usako]

Hello james1,

Thank you for your kind reply and sharing your story.

I am now browsing "MeetUp.com". It looks like I can find a group to join!

A few years ago I tried to find people on Gumtree.

I found a language exchange group and went for a meeting. But somehow I ended up getting many calls and messages from the the organiser asking me to meet him privately. It continued until I eventually told him not to contact me in a really awful way. I did not go to any other meetings and I felt terrible that I hurt him. I then found a volunteer work (again on Gumtree) and found an elderly couple who were looking for a care worker for the husband with paraplegia. I somehow ended up getting many calls and sms from him (plus he often hugged me in a strange way and touched me accidentally) so I stopped. I got scared after these experiences.

I hope I can find some female only groups on MeetUp.com.

Thank you very much for giving me advice.

[Usako]

Hello baet123,

Thank you for your offer to help me.

I live in WA. If you know a group that is specific to female, please let me know.

I do not have a facebook account or any other similar ones. I am not proficient in social media and slightly sceptic about it. But I will consider it if that is necessary for my issue. I feel that I need to be brave.

I will search for English classes in my area as well.

Thank you.

[Hayfa]

Hi Usako

Welcome to the forums!
This is a great place to talk and get support and as you will see everyone here is fantastic and very supportive.
Thank you for sharing with us your problem, I just want to say that this can be a very real concern for many people from CALD backgrounds, it can be very difficult and challenging but there are some wonderful ways of improving your language as James and Baet have suggested.

Have you thought about toast masters? This is a group that exists in most cities around the country, people meet and learn how to be better, positive public speakers. Toast masters has been proven to be greatly beneficial for people who want to improve their spoken English. Basically you will be encouraged to talk about virtually anything or sometimes a topic chosen for you on the spot. It encourages confidence as well as being a great way to meet new people who are all there for the same purpose.

You can google toast masters and see which venues in your suburb of the city you live in run toast masters groups.
I hope this helps. Please keep talking to us here and inform us of your journey.

Hayfa

[james1]

Hi Usako,

Ah I have heard of people looking on Gumtree, but I think it is mainly to sell/buy old items and for job/volunteer searching.

It is a shame you have had those negative experiences. I think that there are going to be some pretty bad people out there, but I do hope that you find something good. I really like board games and I used to go on MeetUp to look for board game groups. The groups I found were very safe and, actually, had quite a lot of people from overseas. Perhaps you could also have a look at some hobby groups as well, because then there is an activity to find conversation starters. Certainly a female-only group would help with that too (and there are many of them on MeetUp).

What kinds of hobbies do you enjoy?

James

[Usako]

Hello Hayfa,

Thank you for your suggestion, I am very excited about your idea!

I will definitely look for a group in meetup.com.

Is it suitable for a person whose English is at an elementary to intermediate level?

Thanks.

[Usako]

Thank you James, I love board games! Who doesn't!? I have never thought of that.

I love swimming and searched for it on meetup Perth. I could not find any unfortunately. But I found a board game group! See if I could join them...

Thanks!

[Usako]

Hello again,

I found two toastmaster groups on meetup which says people with different nationalities and backgrounds can join! Only problem is that the meetings for both groups are held regularly on Tuesdays only (the day I work very late.) I will contact them if they could help me. Meanwhile I will look for other similar groups.

Thank you so much for your advice, I started to see hope...