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This bipolar life
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Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.
Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.
Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.
Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.
Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope
Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.
Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.
I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!
Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.
So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.
I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!
Love
Kaz
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Lisa
I remember one day as a casual high school teacher ( I was primary trained) when I had a rough period with a class. I was told I would have one difficult class . Little did I know that rough class was not the difficult one!! I found casual teaching exhausting but it was the only work I could get.
V a birthday is another day . Spoil yourself .
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Hi all,
Lisa, thank you for your lovely compliment. A bright star on a somewhat Bleh day. We are all doing something to keep moving on, it's a pat on the back for all of us. Velvet, I reckon a bushwalk would be amazing. That is something I've never done and now cannot do. I would love to hear about what it is like. Will you go on an organized walk or off on your own? And yoo hoo, I think Top Gun 2 lands on Boxing Day this year.
Just a quiet day. Took my son to the dentist. The dentist of course is late. Of course, he (my son) is practically rolling all over the floor ( I'm hungry, I'm bored, I'm tired...). Why does a near teenager turn into a three-year-old when they have to wait? We get in one and a half hours late, and he is there for three minutes. Of course, he is practicing some hideous screaming guitar on Garage Band on my phone, which sets the tone for the whole visit.
One thing about today is I didn't spiral. Really I should count this as a good day.
Leisa
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Leisa
waiting for an appointment not much fun for adults and children. At my dentist one is charged for every 15 min one is late.
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I will make cake and enjoy some nature.
Maybe some wine too.
It's naked gardening weekend as well Hahah.... again. I've not been brave or intoxicated enough.
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V
Mosquitos love me so no gardening for me with out being covered head to toe!!
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Yes indeed. The first weekend in May.
Hehehe. My neighbours don't need to see that.
Flu vax yesterday. Yep. Not happy. Bleh. By immune system gets the memo every time. Feel horrible at the moment. Won't be staying all day.
Have covid going through work as well.
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Hi everyone,
A naked gardener hey! Gees I would have to watch where I put my cactus. I have one very big one which comes up to my abdomen. He has some pretty big spikes as well towards the top. He's a dangerous beast and part of my arsenal if anyone is silly enough to break in here. Very good to see everyone is doing well, warms my heart. I was off to the club today, one of those RSL thingies with friends was lovely. We just sit there and solve the world's problems. Well, mostly our problems. I always enjoy the day and always forget something I had to shoulda bought up. Oh well.
No spiraling today. Day two. Lovely. Hope you are all well.
Leisa
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Leisa
I will never look at a cactus without thinking of worry what a nude gardener would do :
V I hope you feel better soon.
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