This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Asdff
You have a wonderful mum and a wise psych.

All you can do is love and appreciate your mum as much as you already do . You have a kind soul and I hope accepting and naming feelings as your psych suggested, helps you.

[velvetfaerie]

Hugs to you all.
Quirky, asdff, in your difficult times.

[asdff]

I currently have one teen professing there is nothing to eat. What a load of hog's wash. There is plently to eat. There might be stuff you don't want to eat. I am not going to the shops like you have screamed at me, we need to do. There is loads of junk food. This one is a hoover. Eats everything and wants more. Thin as a reed. The other child asked can we go out? No. You have both been out all week. Even if it's "just" to swimming lessons. Yeah, got to love school holidays.

[quirkywords]

Velvet hug received and appreciate. How are you going?

Asdff, teens and food . I had a teen who wanted to be a Vegetarian but thought that meant a diet of cheese and pasta. Or they say I have no clothes which means no clothes that are trendy, yes I know that dates me.

I was lucky to have parents in the Big city who arrange outings each day of the holidays .

asdff as you know the children will grow up have their own lives and you may wish they were with you in the holidays.

[asdff]

Quirky, I am hoping they will come and visit then. We visit my Mum and Step Dad on the School Hols. We visit with my in laws every week. That’s how much we like them. We would visit my parents more, if they lived closer.

[velvetfaerie]

Teenage girls seem to be hard work. She child Helped self to every corner of house including the food. Ate and drank like she was never going to see food again. Has no concept of other people. ave me attitude. Was mean to nana too. No wonder I flipped out at her.
If this kid is old enough to hear the sordid details of her parents divorce, she is old enough to be pulled into line and hear my truth. I HATE narcissitic manipulators. Can read them like a book too. (Her mother).

I'm ok. Still very anxious and waiitng on fallout. Man is the same but we have united in anxiety lol. Supporting each other atm.

Had a lovely date day yesterday. We needed to reconnect. We need to schedule a date or 2 every month. Was fun having a beer and seeing some historic items and locations.

We have been enjoying some gardening together too. For someone who claims to hate it, he's done well. Ahhaha.

V.

[quirkywords]

Velevt

I was hard work as a teenager for my mum due to my moods.

I am glad you had a lovely date yesterday. It is good to spend time with just thr two of you.

Gardening together is a good sign too.

[Airies]

Hope you are all doing ok. Xmas , New year and the changing daily events is challenging enough. I’ve sort of decided to give myself a couple of weeks to try and get my routine back. It’s right out of whack. I’m tired , so so tired at times. Exercising lots but a lot undone by eating lots. It’s a vicious circle.
Gardening's a great therapy. I enjoy it, do it most days.I’m never satisfied., always needing something to fill the void.Sorry for the rant,

[velvetfaerie]

Airies, rants are healthy.
I'm feeling unsatisfied too.
I'm laying here annoyed all I managed today was a 5km walk. I have a chronic physical health issue that's been playing up. It's being stupid. GRR

[quirkywords]

Aries I tried a year to get a routine as I can't ever have my old one but in a year I aged a lot and tire easily.

maybe I need to smile more and look for a new routine who knows.? Not me

Velvet only a 5km walk I would not do that in several days.

I feel I am only one year who dienst exrecise a lot. I do wlak every day when it is not pouring.

Does anyone get irritable with a loved one for no reason because it is morning. I irritate myself too!!