This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Tams,

I am glad you found this too, If I see people on other posts I mention this thread but of course it is good when you can find it by yourself,

Evereyone is different, was in denial and tried to manage for many years with out medication but finally realised for me if I wanted a stable life I need medication an Ma lucky I found the right one that suited me and have been ok for over 20 years. It still requires lots of work for me and monitoring of my moods and physical health. The support I receive here is really helpful,.

If you scroll back and dip in and out you may find discussions that will help you,

Welcome again

Quirky

[Loula]

And there we go!!! It’s happened.. I’ve snapped! I can’t breath, I’m screaming at people, I’m depressed, I’m high. I hate everyone including myself. I’ve also taken back to my harmful tactics of coping. I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow but I just feel mad and like I’m going to scream at him.

[quirkywords]

Loula,

I am so sorry and can sense your disappointment and frustration.. I am glad you are seeing your doctor today. Let us know how it goes. If you scream at him he will understand and let him know exactly how you feel and how you are trying to cope.

Are you managing to work as well? That mixed state of high and low and hating everyone is so horrible and confusing , I found it hard to describe to others but you have manage to express yourself so well.

I hope the doctor can help you. I am glad you are getting help.

I would love to have a magic wand and make things better for you.

Take care

Quirky

[Issi]

Good Afternoon All

Just a general question, would a low iron level and thyroxine levels have an impact on my mood? Only looking to see if anyone has had a similar experience. I have to follow up with my Psychiatrist and gp this week, so looking information.

Issi

[Loula]

Hi Issi, I’m no doctor but I assume they would. I don’t eat meat and always get my iron checked to see if that’s affecting me. Because that can you make you tiered and not run correctly and when your body is not 100% I believe it can affect your mental health.

[quirkywords]

Issi,

I assume your doctor monitors your iron levels when you have regular blood tests. Makes sure you know what regular blood tests you are having. It is a such an importnat test i would be surprised if a dr wasnt not regularly checking your iron levels. You should check with your doctor to make sure it is being monitored.

Lola, how did your appointment go with your doctor.

Quirky

[Issi]

Hi

No I don’t eat red meat, my gp does monitor my levels but with tablets and extra liquid supplements it hasn’t got any better so now need an iron infusion.

Since I’ve had my thyroid removed my thyroxine needs to be increased, so with both of those out of balance has thrown my bi-polar out of balance. So a temporary adjustment in meds is also happening. Good thing is hopefully in a few weeks things should be back in balance again.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Issi,

Thanks for explaining the situation. You have so many complexities as well as bipolar. I hope it gets sorted out soon. It must be hard for you and your doctor to find the right balance.

Do you have to be on a special diet or do you take lots of supplements?

Quirky

[Loula]

Hi Issi, I also don’t eat red meat or actually any meat. But I’ve been lucky my iron levels have been fine and I’m not a healthy vegetarian eater. I hate half the foods I need to eat. Im not sure if your stage in life or this will be helpful but have you and your doctor talked about the marina? I know a lot of people with low iron it fully helped then I know heaps of people who hated it. It ever loves you or not but something worth looking into.

Hi Qurikywords. My appointment sucked. Just ride it out. I don’t want to ride it out!!!! Make it stop!!! Make it stop!!!! So hello getting drunk!!! But my psychiatrists called up a psychologists and got me in today for an emergency meeting to help me figure out coping strategies. He also wanted me to keep working but I’m like I can’t I can’t be around people so I chucked a sicky.

[Issi]

Hi

I have a few supplements that I take each day, along with my medication so I need to space them out as some don’t go with others but after dealing with for a while I’m used to it, even with the regular blood tests. It’s just when things don’t go to plan, everything goes a bit off. But in a few weeks everything will be ok. The Marina unfortunately isn’t an option for me.

Issi