This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

I find it easier to keep weight off when I am in. Good mood as I am a major comfort and emotional eater.

[wail]

Good morning Quirky, I feel better and I put that down to the kindness of others. If I turn the radio on and the fast talking announces don't irritate me, that's a good sign for me.

Since my husband and I turned 50 I have become careful with food, low GI, high fiber, etc. My husband sometimes goes shopping and he brings comfort food home. Secretly I am thankful, still I always 'tut-tut' him.

I exercise first thing in the morning in my pajamas, 3 days resistance and 4 days on the stationary bike, I am on the bike Now... We take a daily walk together usually along quieter tracks. My husband does not enjoy busy areas. I like activities with others dancing, singing and tai chi. My husband finds small talk nauseating and his body language in a group is aloof and a bit rude.

He was exactly that way in 1991 when I met him and I overlooked his social guard. I was a barmaid and his work mates came in, so he did too. I asked him ' do you do sign language ' he ignored me. So I said " I know sign language ' and when he did look... I gave him the bird. And he coughed yes almost a laugh.

I only ever wanted to be friends and the word stalker was not common back then but he stalked me for around 18 months. Once at a party I was in a car with a guy and he appeared at the window AHhhh. No one thought it was creepy, ' I had a puppy'. Still he didn't talk much he just turned up and he needed me to make wise ar$e conversation, to light him up. Eventually he went to Qld for work and I had to get clean so I went to Alice Springs. Four months into my cleanse he appeared and with new eyes I saw him as an asset.

So Maybe, it is unresolved parental issues like- Abandonment - that effected my choice of partner?

And so we had a fresh start, he met the real me and I met... well I'd already met him.

How did you guys meet you significant others?

[Up___Down]

Thank you for sharing.

It's so helpful to ready how other people suffering describe what we live through each day.

[quirkywords]

welcome up & down

It is great that you posted here. That first post by Kazzl is very informative. She left this thread. We are a supportive friendly group here. So feel free to share as much or as little as you like and feel free to ask questions.

[wail]

Thank you Up and Down for participating and you are right on the money- It is helpful...

Greeting Quirky it is always nice to see your posts. Cheers M

[Airies]

Wail, I met my wife at a outdoor music thing and engaged and married shortly after. I went along with a work mate and his partner her friend along. I offered her my coat, awestruck by her beauty and as they say the rest is history and more then 3 decades later we are still together. She’s the sensible one, I’m not. She’s the rock I’m not and on it goes. Anyway somehow it works and we’ve been through so much together.

[Guest9337]

Hello all my friends, I just dropped into to say I love to read the posts put up in this thread today, am really feeling like I am connecting with others... and that makes me want to share the following.

80% of loosing weight is eating/drinking. 20% of loosing weight is exercise/movement.

If you need to work "hard" at something, then work hard at being appropriately hungry, and when hungry take just a bite or two to satisfy hunger, but not to fill up in comfort.

Aim to eat just enough to be healthily loosing weight and enjoying the exercise you do.

Avoid exercising too much as it makes many people hungrier and we can all eat calories in under 2 minutes, but it takes hours of exercise to burn up calories, and that exercise itself will increase hunger!

Eat less, move just a bit, worry less about fitness, and more about a lightness in our stomachs.

With those principles I have lost some weight and not once hurt myself in exercise.

[wail]

As my soul heals the shame, I will grow through this pain, Lord I'm doing all I can, To be a better man...

What a beautiful memory Aries and Wow, what a gesture. I do think it is our opposing attributes that create a good bond in relationships. You have inspired me to seek out the movie 'An officer and a gentleman', thanks for that.

Hello to david 'n'goliath, thank you for sharing your weight management technique it is so good to read new ideas. I understand your style and it is good, I think, I exercise to remain physically strong as I age and also I do enjoy the endorphins plus who can say no to real good tucker, I would have to sew my lips shut! Cheers

[quirkywords]

My PP present partner, we met on a dating site. The first time we met I was going home after being in the big city and he put my heavy bags in his car and after our first date he drove me to coach stop and helped carried my bags. I thought I would not see him again. Our combined ages were nearly 125,!,

I suppose at our age more practical attitudes than romance .

DnG for me as I have said before it is not food or diet but mood. In a good mood I eat well and move a lot on a low mood I eat all day and sit on the couch.!

[wail]

Absolutely fabulous later life romance story Quirky. Your attitudes may have be practical and yet his gesture to carry your bags was perfect. I think these manners show respect to the recipient and a willingness to give.

My darling husband is the eternal Bambino, the baby to an Italian family. I do read romance novels and I love watching romantic films but I don't experience these romantic gestures. The first gift he ever bought me was a front tyre for my cute postie motorbike. Romance aside, this practical gift that ensured my safety was so endearing that I cried, overwhelmed and grateful. He is a good man!

I am curious about your low days Quirky ? Do you get the odd day or short episodes ? and Is it one type of food or is it eating to feel better ? I visit some of the women in group when and if they allow it during lows and each person has different coping behaviors. I admire your honesty- your a cool cat ! Cheers M