This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Asdff

thanks for that review. I have seen the previews but didn’t know one was about bipolar.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

I just watched the program with Ann Hathaway about bipolar. I thought the depression part was well done but the mania was romanticised literally like a musical in a supermarket.

Also so the transition from moods were very quick, I know they are for some people.

The lots of men , the lots of jobs, was dealt with. I wish sometime a not so attractive actress could play the part of a woman with mental illness.
Thanks for letting me know about it. I will watch the other episodes as well.

[asdff]

Quirky, I’m going to rewatch the episode during the week. Thanks for giving your point of view. I was looking for other’s opinions. Most Hollywood depictions of BP are romanticised. The one with Angelina Jolie, I think it’s Girl Interrupted. I haven’t seen that one in years. I did think Ann’s character moved through her moods quickly. They said she missed 4 of 20 days of work. I did like that they had her with no make up and puffy eyes when the ‘date’ got her out of bed.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

Anns hair was pretty good after a few days in bed. Mine looked like licorice stuck to my head, plus I looked far more dishevelled. I know when I was dating men did know if they were getting a saint or a sinner.
I remember in the 1980s and 1990s the only people with bipolar on tv shows were in police dramas and they were either very violent or very sexual or both.

[asdff]

Yes, I’m another one that the hair doesn’t get brushed when down. Teeth will get brushed but not till rather late in the day. Showering, it’s hit and miss. All of the hygiene things take lots of energy. No wonder we get really tired when down. Our brains are in survival mode.

Men I’ve dated think oh wow she is fun. Then probably a few months in…. Hmm I’m not sure. I honestly thought my moods were hormonal. Like around that time of the month.

[wail]

Sittin' in the morning sun

I'll be sitting when the evenin' comes

watching the ships roll in

Then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah...

Big thanks for tip about the love story to Asdff and Great review to Quirky.

With my husband still down, now is the right time for me to watch romantic tv. I am the routine partner and I keep the beat. My darling husband is the unpredictable partner he gives this union it's tempo. When he gets better I am gonna tell him " You are the most fun I've ever been around". That is a killer line and he will love it. Cheers M.

[velvetfaerie]

I don't get much time to watch TV.....but my meds atm have helped me watch a little bit lately !

I wish to ask some advice given the wisdom here. Seems people like to spit their chewy at me when I am open and honest. I always thought honesty in friendship was valued. Silly me!!

Anyway my friend who i am a bridesmaid for later this year didn't let me finish a thought process before chewing my head off 3 months ago. Haven't spoken since. I've let it be because of things in both our lives. They've had some personal tragedy, (well not really, she's latched onto it making it all about her so she can white night herself. Weeks prior she was slandering these people from pillar to post!).

I don't know how or if I should bother approaching this. She's really unapproachable and is the perpetual narcissistic victim. I'm just concerned she's going to expect me to play nice when I'm surrounded by people I'm very uncomfortable with on the wedding day. It's only fair she finds someone else if needed. There is no one else. She's alienated all her friends!

Thanks dudes.

[asdff]

Hey Velvet, If I was on your shoes. I would ask friend point blank would you still like me to be your bridesmaid? I would open in an SMS with something light. How are you? How are the wedding plans coming along? Then go in with the direct question. Then you know where you stand. If she wants you to be a bridesmaid or perhaps, they have gone down the route of no attendants? Maybe the other people on the thread have different suggestions? Enjoy your day.

[velvetfaerie]

Asdff... good advice if she was a reasonable human.

She's not approachable and always right. Very narcissistic and a complete victim. Sprinkle that with arrogance and pride when it suits.... You know the type right? There is no negotiating with people like that. I'm tempted to block and delete.

But I've got time to figure out a way to approach this the best way. But it's also not up to me to anticipate her needs. I'm merely a seat filler for her bridal party because her sister and best mate won't talk to her. I wonder why.

Anyway thanks though. Will give it thought re your advice.

[asdff]

Oh dear. Why are you friends with someone like that Velvet? You don’t have much spare time. Fill it with people who like you and you like them in return. As for why her sister and best mate won’t talk to her because she is a B word 🙂