This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Asdff

i feel tired all the time.
Just being me is exhausting but not many understand.

[Airies]

Hi folks, it is tiring , the extremes but touch wood feeling ok. I’m lucky in a way that I can crawl into bed lie on the couch when I need to. My world doesn’t extend past my house boundary. Excercise is important and 2 weeks into intermittent fasting.Going to pig out with takeaway on Friday.

All subject to change at a moments notice. I started watching a film. Couldn’t get past 30 seconds of credits. Constant annoyance, same with some people. I’m suprised I haven’t broken teeth. The grinding on 1 side leaves my face numb. I should practice Mindfulness more often .That is a circuit breaker in my day

[asdff]

Oh Airies, I feel you. The grinding of the teeth and tension in the jaw. I am lucky I have Netflix, so if one film is rubbish. I go for something else. I hope your day is peaceful.

[Airies]

Netflix, catch-up tv , thank god for smart TVs . Funnily I can watch something and then have no recollection or can rewatch a few days later. Blame the meds.
More importantly Thankyou in wishing my day is peaceful,.You have such an ability to say the right thing at the right time. I hope your day improves and your on the way up .

This forum is the best therapy. The clan ebbs and flows but we get one another.

I’m missing my morning walk, stomache upset. I’m cold , tense but anyway small issues with what else is going on in the world.

[quirkywords]

Hello all

I am watching A series about Sherlock Holmes and his partner Dr joan Watson set in modern NY. Even though it’s about murder it is entertaining and relaxing and find when watching it I don’t over think.

Aries I find this is one of the places I can say how I thin,

Asdff how are you feeling..?

Lisa how are you going ?

[Lisa611]

Hi All...am going ok. Am very mindful of relapsing and falling back down the rabbit hole. I got my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine today. Next one is in 3 weeks. Had Chinese for dinner- steamed dim Sims and curried prawns and rice. Am now lying on the lounge watching the footy on telly. I've been trying to go for a short walk each day to get out of the house. I went to the GROW meeting on Tuesday night via zoom. I guess it'll take me a while to get to know people especially over zoom. I still find it reassuring knowing I'm not the only person who has mental health issues which is also why I like you guys. I hope everyone is plodding along doing ok. I'm definitely over this lockdown. There's talk that it could go on for weeks.

[quirkywords]

Lisa

I feel my grand child maybe ready for school before I can meet them.

Afterbyou have written ab out support groups I looked into ones near me but they are all closed to new people till after lockdown.

I suppose this thread is the closest I have been to a support group!!

[wail]

I go to weight watchers it is a support group for people like me who like food a bit to much

[quirkywords]

Wail welcome to this thread.

Do you find weight watchers supportive.?

There are many groups that give support. I wonder has anyone had experience with a group.

A friend has found a gym helps her as they focus on what she can do not what she can’t.

[velvetfaerie]

My comment had nothing to do with any of you guys BTW. Take care of yourselves. All of you. Lockdowns and all the things.

Been a hectic 2 weeks here. Foster dog. Virus from hell. Burnt out to the serious Max. Psychiatrist. Diagnosis. Meds. Falling in a complete heap. No support where I should have had it. Just blah.

But ..... things are on the up. One day at a time.