This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

Quirky and Airies, I like how you describe it as peaking/crash and burn. That is exactly how I feel. We went hard and the. We have no more to give. I can give more in the gym or exercise arena but that’s it. I can function enough to work and raise a family. I can only do one at a time. I can’t juggle things like I used to. I was the master of multitasking. Now it’s hard enough to stay focused on one task.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

i used to say I could multitask but it meant I did 5 things badly at once.

Now I start to do something then 5 mins later I am wondering what I was going to do.

[Guest9337]

Hi I am having a topsy turvy day. Moving from meh and blah to argggghhhh and back again.

love dng.

[quirkywords]

DnG that sounds like a difficult day. Meh to blah to arrrgghhh , I know those days,
I hope you are looking after yourself .

I had a few grrrrrrrr moments today.

[Lisa611]

Hi All...it's just after 4pm and I'm already showered and in my PJs. I'm not going anywhere and nobody is allowed to come over. Am watching the Olympics. That's come at a good time. At least it's a distraction. Went to check my house today which is in a hotspot. Luckily I'm living with my partner in another LGA. Being in this lockdown for another 4 weeks is going to be tough. The only time I leave the house is to go for a walk or to see the doctor. My other half does the shopping. Only 1 person from a household is allowed to go. The other half has just changed the channel to golf. Not the most riveting sport to watch. I really feel for those in lockdown who are not working and have lost their income or those whose home is not a safe haven for them. In that way I'm very fortunate. It's hard not to feel low when all you hear about is Covid.

Hoping everyone is having a good weekend.

[quirkywords]

Lisa I am still in my pjs at 11am some days. I feel so rebellious doing chores and writing in my pjs.

[Airies]

Hi folks,

Lisa , agree the Olympics are a nice distraction, golf not flash lol. It’s great to see Australia doing so well. Our restrictions have been lifted but no visitor’s.Had a friend phone, not close and during the course of the conversation said I know people are bending the rules. I was thinking of coming over. He was a bit gobsmacked. Anyway until it changes it won’t be happening.

[quirkywords]

Aries, I get distracted so quickly these says. i start on one task and then i drift to another until I realise that I know have started 3 things and left them all..

[asdff]

Same Quirky, I have to put my mind to completing a task.

My whinge for the day is how come family don’t investigate into our condition? How come they don’t know what might be a symptom of bipolar? I investigate when a family member gets cancer or similar. I am peeved that someone in my family made snide remarks about me behaving like a child. Did he think that maybe I had been triggered? Or that I behave like a child for a reason? We have lost a family member who has the same condition as me. Yet he didn’t think maybe she is upset ? Yes, I did post about being upset on social media but I had been behaving well for ages. I did delete the social media post after my husband asked me to.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

I have the problem where friends or family read one article in bipolar and instantly consider themselves a mental health expert.?