This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

My morning routine will change. Daughter’s school is out of my way. Primary School is on the way to where I go to the gym. For the first two weeks. I have to drop at primary school,drop at high school. Then drive back to gym.

after pick up primary school, pick up at high school. So teaching daughter to use bus is beneficial to me. Fingers crossed no bullying on the bus and she doesn’t get anxious about using the bus. She is a pretty cluey kid. Also doesn’t get highly emotional’ like her mother.

[velvetfaerie]

😉

Flippy wallet type phone cover where you can shove the train card in. I do that and it is marvellous. Given the phone will be in the childs hands at all times, it is pretty convenient. (Adults too). I find they also save screen smashes HAHA!

[clown_of_mine]

asdff - that was so crappy that you had to take 2 buses each way to high school - what a waste of time , it's good that your daughter has only the one bus to catch.

[quirkywords]

I walked a couple of kilomteres to school but I just did not like high school I liked the comfort of primaty.

4 buses is a lot of travelling. How are you feeling now asdff

[Airies]

I can recall walking an hour to and from secondary school, then the buses came along at a later date. Sometimes when I first started work and before gaining licence I would walk over 1.5 hours to get home. Lesson learnt pretty quickly as a young adult.It was a big adjustment for me from primary to secondary.
Asdff I hope your new routine becomes the norm.it’s natural for parents to worry about their children. My mother, who I miss immensely was always protective of me. I was born early, my twin passed and a slow learner. My weight is yo yoing again. I’ve made a tentative call to help out once a week with a landcare group close to me. Hopefully talk to a few other people, pull some weeds and assist in replanting. I will have a look and if it’s not for me I won’t.it’s rather a sad existence. Thankfully this thread and forum is here

[quirkywords]

My parents let me walk to school at 12 years alone but that was the early 1970s.

you would have been so precious to your mum Aries.
asdff I think you should be proud of what you achieve and change is hard for most people.

within a month you will have a new routine.

[clown_of_mine]

Airies I hope the land care thing turns out to be good - their work is really helpful in so many ways, bushfire reduction, water table mass management the list goes on and on cause plants are life it's awesome - says beating heart greenie ! And Like the old NORM commercials " and little did they know they were EXERCISING!!!"Happy Australia Day Gang

[Airies]

Quirky I was, her world was her family and it’s only now as an adult I understand as to why was so overprotective of me. I could do no wrong. Clown of mine it’s a volunteer group doing work along the rail trail close to me. Turns out can’t make it this week. Gotta help with shopping but that’s ok, always next week. Hope everyone is doing ok . I pose the question do we live in the best country on earth?

[quirkywords]

I do think I am grateful to live in a great country.

comparisons are problematic.
sorry Aries you just wanted a yes,

[Airies]

Noooo that’s quite fine Quirky I just thought id pose the question as it was Australia Day. Grateful that my parents resided here from overseas. I don’t get people who don’t assimilate into our country. That’s another story. It was lovely to walk this morning, smell the damp eucalyptuses and here and see corellas overhead.

clown of mine , they were great ads in those days.One of many. Sounds like you , me and Quirky are similar vintage .