This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Velvet How you are going. How is man thing? Do you feel you have a decent break from work?

Yes there is a balance between listening and not replying which makes the person think you never listened or waiting till its their turn to speak and not listening.

[velvetfaerie]

He can be a pain. Treats me like an idiot. Forgets I got this far in life with little help, be it from my olds, or from a partner.

I feel mostly rested. I have developed a chronic gut issue which sucks. The medicationside effects aren't much better hahaha. Typical right?

Bracing for mass sackings as of next year at work. Things are likely to heat up legally as they're potentially breaking a legal agreement. Time will tell. Well, if they sack me it costs them a lot. I have a plan if this happens.

Back to the garden!!! Enjoying some sun.

Hope you are all well.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

Sorry about your chronic gut issue

[velvetfaerie]

Ah it's ok. I am in perfect health otherwise.


😉

[asdff]

Velvet, you are a perfect specimen! i hope the workplace isn’t too taxing when you go back. I read about a WA workplace, might be similar to yours. Saying they have made cutbacks and it’s like an Old Boy’s Club. Eye roll eye roll. So while the rest of the country is coming up to behaving like it’s 2020 these workplaces are staying stuck in 1950.

How is everyone else?

I am tired too. I could do with a nap, except I have one child home from school sick. That makes my whole day feel out of order, muddled. I even feel a bit headachy but I’m not sick. It’s just the change in routine. Does this happen to you all? You feel off when your routine/s are out of order? I am sooooo sensitive to change.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

routine is so necessary for me but this year I don’t have my routine.

I have a new routine but it’s not the same. So I know what you mean asdff.

I wonder what others feel?

[Airies]

V, you sound in pretty good nick. We all are considering. Yep I rave routine, very regimented. It’s all or nothing though. Regimented negatively and positively if that makes sense. Sick of hearing about the U. S. elections. Hopefully a bit more freedom Covid wise come Sunday here in Vic

[velvetfaerie]

I function better with routine.

The election . Urgh. I've used it as an opportunity to learn about some things. I'm quite ignorant regarding history and so forth.

[quirkywords]

I don’t understand about USA elections .

[velvetfaerie]

Me neither. Believe me I have tried to understand it.
Failed. Haha.