This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Asdff, lost it again today,again bike related. Son says he’s never seen me like that. Tad embarrassing as he had a friend over. I used to be so patient at work, rolled with the punches, thrived on the environment and now I’m losing it over nothing.Deleted strata, other cycle related apps, just spent money at the bike shop and have decided to give it up. Trying to convince myself walking is so much easier. I need to excercise, I really do. I was a runner, long distance, then cycling for 20 odd years and now. It’s tough, BP and all that’s associated with it is a pain,

cheers

[asdff]

I get you Aries I really do. I got cranky at my kids today. I don’t think they get that I’ve asked nicely. I don’t have much energy at the moment. Having a cold and being unwell in the mind. I tried telling them I’m not well. Anyway, I went to my room and they tidied the house. They said they were looking for a reward. Ha ha. How does no sound? At least they did something nice for me.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

my parents never divorced but I did. I de died that I would never put my children’s dad down to them. He was a good dad but we couldn’t be together. Parents who are critical of the other parent only make it harder fir the children who often resent the parent who said mean

things.

[velvetfaerie]

My theory is- the parents relation break down has nothing to do with the kids UNLESS in extreme circumstances. Circumstances with warrant huge jail time.

I can see the child is visibly unnerved about the stuff between her parents.
Since last night. Since I opened up a little she has been almost inseparable from me.

In good news today's bike ride was most fun Hahahahaha.

[asdff]

Velvet, that sounds nice. Us bipolar peeps are good talkers 🙂 We are also good listeners. Well, I am.

Quirky, that sounds very grown up with you and your ex. I didn't like that my Dad constantly said it was my Mum's fault. That she left. If he said it to me as an adult. I would retort with "You left her with no other option".

[quirkywords]

hello all
How do you cope with a person who always plays the victime, their life is worse, They complain that you upset them when you didnt. It is tiring,

[velvetfaerie]

Quirky- roll my eyes at them and distance myself from them.
Some folks are draining..

[quirkywords]

I agree need to distance from certain people. Velvet.

Do you have a list of things you want to do on your time away or just go with the flow..?

One thing I find with some people is they are always ready to expect the worst in others rather than give the benefit of the doubt. I am talking about friends and family.

Quirky

I know people will be reading this thread fir the first time so welcome. If you ant to say hello that is great otherwise feel free to read. We are a friend,y lot and always welcome new people.

[velvetfaerie]

We are yet to go away so I want to do that.
New jeans.
Update resume.
I had more things like start painting the house etc but ..... It's a big job.

[quirkywords]

Have you planned fir rest.