This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

I am so old I recall when there was a manual Exchange and a woman in charge knew all the local gossip.
asdff you probably don’t remember phones with a cord and where you had to stand still and everyone could hear your conversation.

[velvetfaerie]

I am making a work people list on my phone and blocking them when I am on leave. Turing my phone off isn't fair to my friends and family.

I remember rotary phones..... hahahahahahahahah

[quirkywords]

Velvet

if you block people do they know they are blocked on the phone.

[velvetfaerie]

If they phone me they go straight to message bank. If they hide their number it will ring through. I doubt my colleagues will think of that.

Texts - they'll have no clue.

We see. We have a big meeting with the union now. My dept. Eeeeeek!!!

[Airies]

Soon you will be on holidays V and treat them with the contempt they deserve. I managed a walk. I haven't cycled in weeks. Said to son set the bike up and 10 seconds later, said don't worry about it. Just like a flick of a switch. Feeling lacklustre and don't know why. I could, should be riding but I can't be fagged . Attacked a pack of violet crumbles..temporary fix lol.

cheers

[velvetfaerie]

MMmmm violent crumbles are so tasty. Yes I call them that HAHAHA.

Ah we had a meeting. Was lol. LOL. Managers were all like"do not contact us outside of hours" blah blah blah.

Me: "last week I had 3 staff contact me after hours and on my day off. I am not in a position of authority. I was not at work. I don't have a company phone. That is three strikes so as far as I am concerned, put it in an email or contact a manager !" The look on their faces. It was in front of all their staff as well. Until i am paid what I am worth, stuff off. Wage theft is is actually a thing guys!

I want choccy now. NOMNOM. I will drag myself to the gym, but, i have an attack of the can't be fagged's as well.

V.

[quirkywords]

Velvet good on you for standing up for self and sharing the staff.

[quirkywords]

How is everyone going ?

Does anyone find very windy weather to ne so annoying. When I was a teacher we didnt like windy days as students were very restless on such days.

[velvetfaerie]

I am knackered after this week. The meeting was interesting. Union. They're already going through arbitration with other staff at my large employer... They're not keeping to the legally binding agreements.
My dept is next, written evidence and so forth pending. A friend/ colleague has resigned. That's another down. More to go. Soon they'll have no staff.

I just don't care. I hope all my colleagues feeling the hurt like I am leave. I am hoping to do the same in the best few months. Slave labour is illegal. The higher ups are throwing us little workers under the bus to save their own 6 figure salaries and perks.

I have to go shopping. Pfft. Hate shops.

I am just worn. Out.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

I hope you get to have a long rest.

I always am annoyed when company directors get millions of dollars yet they object to workers getting a rise or compensation.