This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

U have struggled with food and exercise all my life. Disordered.

Abscess is in my groin.

I was waiting for surgery for 14 hours in ED and starved for 24.... discharged to come back today for surgery.....
The health system is grossly neglected by the government. Day 2 no food. J am starving.

Will check back soon.....

[quirkywords]

Hello all

Velvet sorry for all the waiting you have to endure, I hope you have your surgery soon..

How much pain are you in ?

thanks for letting us know how you are going.

[Airies]

Hi folks, Asdff agree totally with getting overtired doing things. Whether I slow down or not there's always something going on internally or externally. I ate really healthy in my early twenties, raw energy diet, fit and fin. Wish I had your control.,BP is a pain, and that see saw flick switch in my head shits me. Btw what your favourite lolly? Love the typo I'm a lowly lover.id pass on seeing an absys drained. Having said that when doing hospital escorts with corrections I'd see the end result of people swallowing forks, spoons, stabbings. A lot of blood and guts. They were a breeze yet one early in my career who was the officer who fainted when some blood was being taking from someone else.

Velvet I hope you get the medical attention you need and rightly deserve, sounds painful.My experience with ER wasn't overly flash after my bike accident. Waited hours, 5 minutes with a doc and to add further insult to injury received a bill after toing and throwing between TAC and the hospital.

Quirky hope you are doing ok. You do an amaysing job keeping this forum going. Conducting from the bridge and keeping us afloat. Too much violent Netflix before bed resulted in horrible sleep and dreams, take care

cheers

[asdff]

Airies oops at the typo. It was meant to be lolly lover. Favourite Allens Party Mix. Strawberries and cream or yellow snake. I agree that Quirky is like the Mother Hen. She is amazing. xoxox

Velvet, so you have had no food? Not even dinner last night? I would be throwing things if I had no food for two days. I get hangry. Would still watch it being drained.

[Airies]

Asdff I hope I didn't offend you regarding your typo. Sorry if I did. Partial to Allens party mix, Quality snakes., loved fan tails at the movies and reading all about the actors on the wrappers.Can remember when 50 cents would buy you a big brown bag of mixed lollies. 2 days without food I'd be cranky as...even with food I get cranky, defensive if someone has a crack re extra food bread. I'm about to do a ride, dodge people, dog poo, dogs on a bike trail. I'm gob smacked at the number of people not wearing masks, puting them on only as you approach. Wife says you're not the mask police.Day by day here in Vic. as. Is everywhere. I really feel for the elderly and young children.

Watched an interesting Australia story featuring Joel Edgerton, opened up about mental health issues, anxiety issues which really spiralled within the past 5 years.

Be kind , take care cheers

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone
Thanks ASDF and Aries for your kind words.

I am on the train to see my granddaughter giving a bit fragile . So I don't feel quite amazes at the moment but were kind

I forgot my iPad so I'm using my phone and I never use it for the for the forum so it isquite difficult.

Typo alert I normally do quite a few so will be probably heaps as it is so hard and I chappie fingers to type

[quirkywords]

Grrr phones and chubby fingers.
Message sent too soon.

Thanks to everyone reading and everyone posting that has made this a real community.

I don't have many places where on the world where i can be totally honest besides here .

[asdff]

Quirky, that is where my typo came from. The phone, plus mine likes predictive text and types out The wrong thing.

Airies, not offended. I am a clown so jokes don’t offend me. Humour is what has gotten me this far. I hope the non masked stay inside. That would bother me too. Us Bipolar people are rule followers.

[quirkywords]

Asdff humour is one of my four Is that I live by.
I try to laugh at myself if I can and try try not to take myself too seriously.

I follow some rules and break others or does that
make me?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hi team I meant to write that humour is one of the four
Hs I try to live by

The others are
Hope
Health
Honesty