This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[meercat]

Hi issi. TGIF ..thank god its Friday we used to shout.

Do you have any plans for your weekend😉

Im recovering from train trip to Syd. and packing for a short break. Been many years since iv been on hols.

Looking to long sunny days and walks along sandy beaches.mmm

meercat ..

[quirkywords]

Saying hello to everyone here.

Good to see lots of conversations here.

I just want to not feel so exhausted.

Meercat, love your avatar.

Whats a weekend? I open 7 days.

Quirky

[Airies]

Saying hello to everyone,

daylght saving is great, doing more but eating more.. Food one of my triggers.14 hours sleep last night. Rowed 2 hours on machine walked dog for an hour to stop eating more.using zero app to track weight and eating. Back to basics to what works. A 100g weight gain feels like a kilo. All or nothing person. I can't to moderate.Feel ok today... Got to take it 1 day at a time.

Quirky what keeps you working 7 X days?

cheers all. Wish the weather would warm up again bbbrrrrr it's getting cold and I'm getting old

[quirkywords]

Airies,

I run my own book and gift shop 7 days , I love being my own boss!!

Rowing for two hours- that is amazing.

Quirky

[Issi]

Meercat

this weekend I'm going into a travel expo to get some brochures for my assignments, some have great information about unique places and Airlines to get you there like Kenya and some places in South America. Plus it's always a good place to dream. Then the other day I've got normal stuff to do "washing, ironing, baking and some actual study".

Enjoy the weekend, Quirky I hope you are busy

Issi

[meercat]

Hi issi. How are you?

Is tms a new thing?. Are there side effects?

Regarding looking for a job.. i started hunting before completing my course, so i could get a foot in early before the others.

I made a list of the suitable employers in my area and "cold called" with a brief typed resume' on a day when i felt up to it.

I know its hard walking up to strangers, but it gets easier. I gather you apply for jobs on net nowdays but this seems to work.

Call me if you need any help with your resume.

Cheers

meercat xx

[meercat]

Hi everyone. Out of my burrow at last!

Quirkywords: 7 days in a book and gift shop! Id luv to visit. I had to look up avatar..oh dear this little meercat has a lot of catching up to do.

Ps can you suggest a good book with big print to buy for hols.

meercat xx

[meercat]

Quirky. Pls tell me..

Whats all this tiredness we're feeling is it cause we just dont sleep or is it our body adjusting to meds etc? Or is it the 21st century

meercat xx ZZZzzzzzzzzz

[meercat]

Yes. I think it is good to dream of mystic places far away. You'll certainly travel the world in your job!

Husband and i, are always planning something but life gets in the way. Not sure whether to save for Phuket kayaking around the caves, or.. or maybe the new ship, princess majestic, cruising around NZ. She's magnificent!

Cheers

meercatxx

[Nad]

just this morning i felt like vommiting after breakfast, i have no idea why. now my mind is going into over drive anxiety mode. one of my problems when i vommit is that i can't stop and my arms and legs become weak and feel like a cramp. i lose control over pretty much anything from neck down and have to always call an ambulance to get some sort of anti panic shot.... i'm not up to that point yet but i'm super duper drozy and barely can concentrate (this message has taken me awhile to write)