This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Airies I used to be ab,e to walk faster than many and walk up steep hills without a worry. Since having covid twice I am short of breath and find the slight incline a challenge. I am tired most of the time 

[velvetfaerie]

The cold weather/less sunlight affects me a lot. I have to supplement vitamin D during this time. I still feel flat/down/etc though.

[quirkywords]

Velvet 

How is workplace  anything changed ?

my vitamin d is low. I am taking it in liquid form as I am.

I feel tired and blah. I think in over 40 years. Have slept in one go for  at least 2 hrs maybe once or

twice. The older I am the more I can’t handle cold weather. 

[Airies]

It’s sunny outside but cold. Full of excuses to not excercise. Nearby estate getting prepared and the trucks have made a mess of the residential streets. I’m feeling flat,agitated and a tad grumpy.A few medical things have not helped.

[quirkywords]

I feel flat and a bit sad and grumpy. 

[velvetfaerie]

Well, my workplace is interesting to say the least. You reap what you sow!!!! 

Managers are born liars and really only care about themselves. End of story. I suspect the other high manager here is being lined up for sacking too. 

Good. 

I have a bad headache because I've been run ragged for days here and when asked to do more I said no. Well, aren't I a horrible person? I mean I'd love to stop for lunch ya know!!!!

[quirkywords]

Sorry post sent early. 
velvet hope you are ok. I am glad you said no. 

[velvetfaerie]

Saying no meant nothing. So I pointed out their blatant hypocrisy and the rules are for all not just some. 

The management structure at work has been blown apart with the directors sacking. More will go. They're being watched by a senior executive at the moment.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone, Asdff , Lisa, Velvet how re you?

I think workplaces are complicated as you have shown Velevt. 
When I volunterec, I I imagined it would be cosy supportive and peaceful. 
I was so wrong as there is so much politics and gossiping ants people dobbing on others .

Whether one is paid or a volunteer I think one wants ro feel valued an appreciated 

[asdff]

Hello, It’s been busy here. We had the anniversary of a loved one’s death. I think I coped well with the day, not too much thinking and crying. We have been busy with family life, sport and school. I can’t wait for it to calm down a bit. Airies, I am terrible in the freezing cold.