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This bipolar life

Kazzl
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

10,705 Replies 10,705

Yeh I have a large doggo. He's also a large bratto at times. Hehee.

If I have blood results that are a bit ordinary I'll be needing a marrow biopsy. EEEK.

V , life’s incomplete without a pet. As much as boarding costs cost, food and vaccinations I love my pooch. A big week in the city seeing a concert. A big few weeks of appointments,travelling to the city.

More importantly I hope they get to the bottom of your blood issues.

 

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

How is everyone going.?
I have started accupuntre so fingers crossed 

All good Quirky,ive started injections to curb appetite and loose weight.As they say desperate times call for desperate measures 

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Aries 

I have a chocolate craving that I find hard to resist .

i hope injections work. 
Has anyone tried acupuncture for pain relief. i have had two sessions and it is early days. 

asdff
Community Member

G grand we have had extreme heat these past few days and today I’ve had two sleeps. I prefer Autumn and Spring. Wait it’s still Spring. Mild Spring! 

I’ve been getting through the days and nights. Sticking mostly to my routines. Sometimes things pop up and annoy me as they do but I am going okay. First time in my life, I haven’t been up and down like a yo yo. 

Velvet I hope the bone marrow biopsy goes okay and it’s nothing sinister.

 

Quirky acupuncture interests me, as in I’m not scared of it and would be open to receive it. Is it in a specific part of your body? 

Airies I hope the appetite suppressant works. 

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Asdff

thanks for your update. It must be a relief not to be yo-yoing.

acupuntyre is to help with interstitial cystitis . 

Quirky your condition sounds painful. I hope the acupuncture brings you some relief.

 

Just like our condition, likes to keep us guessing. We are never too far away from a crash or an up that leads to a crash. I was so overstimulated today; my child woke me up before 6am. Then it was non stop most of the day, including my child had a friend over. I had wanted to put up our Christmas Tree but that didn’t happen. The straw them at broke the camel’s back was actually a fly today. Sitting at dinner, the fly annoyed me. I tried to block it out. I couldn’t and I ended up taking my dinner outside to eat. Yes, it’s been one of those days.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Asdff you describe your moods with such insight which I find hard at times.