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This bipolar life
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Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.
Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.
Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.
Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.
Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope
Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.
Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.
I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!
Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.
So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.
I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!
Love
Kaz
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Do people free warmer weather or cold weather. As I get older I feel the cold more.
Mood wise I do better in warm weather.
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I hope all went OK asdff. I think anyone who isn't a psychopath would find funerals draining.
Ticking along ok here. Just really tired.
So apart from being run down and frustrated due to either a virus having a tickle or my blood issues, I'm good. My dogs good. The blood issues are under investigation by a relevant specialist. Results pending.
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Velvet I hope you find out what is causing blood issues.
i was tired For a year after covid 1 and then for two months after covid 2. Had so many test and so in the end that I gave up as there was no answers.
How is everyone else .?
where I sometimes volunteer I fell some are ready to tell tales to those in charge. I can’t be myself.
there is a high turnover of volunteers.
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Asdff, I hope you’re ok after the funeral. Possibly a relief afterwards but don’t take that the wrong way.V is it a large dog. Mines keeping me warm by being in my lap. I’m tired. Tired of drawing a line in the sand. It’s everyday as I try to walk, balance my food intake and the absurd time driven to distraction.
i had my blood tests done a while back can only assume all is good. Sometimes one doesn’t care.
i am struggling, mainly because of my weight which affects everything else. Not fun getting old.
Quirky, small work environments can be challenging. You’re the one that matters.
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Quirky, I enjoy the warmer weather especially the rays of the sun. Struggle with the colder weather. I used to love running in the rain when younger. I could move up North on a whim but my partner wouldn’t. I’m very impulsive.
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Airies I also used to run in the rain. I am also impulsive, my meds have made me less so. Yes, the funeral was draining. Nice to see people I haven’t seen in ages.
Quirky, I am better in the between seasons; Spring and Autumn. I’m not great in Winter, the long cold months aren’t great on my mood.
I’ve been super busy lately; appointments for me. Some for the family.
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Have been asked to type part in a study regarding one of my meds and issues with and blood samples and results. Hopefully there will be a little device similar to what diabetics use.
Anyway will take part
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Airies I like doing surveys on many topics including mental health. I like giving my opinion.
as I get no,der my age group is often the o,dest option!!!
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Hi Quirky and everyone,
I don’t like the hot summer months, they make me feel worn out and exhausted most days….I used to like winter but the last winter definitely changed my mind….Autumn and spring are very pretty seasons…
I agree with you Quirky, getting a psychologist/psychiatrist/ counsellor or even a GP…is really hard in rural or country areas…
I hope everyone is doing better then okay…
Grandy..
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Ggrand
yes the extreme cold and heat is too much for my aging bones.