This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[asdff]

Lisa, I do not know how you do it with all of the teens at school. I really admire you. My moods are out when one teen is expressing her anger, crying etc. You have a classroom of them, in non Covid times.

Quirky, thank goodness society is being educated and evolving.

[quirkywords]

I agree Lisa you are amazing teaching high school children

I did 5 days of casual teaching at high school and I cried on 3 days,,!!

I had 3 teen aged children.

[wail]

Take a look at you and me, Are we to blind to see,

Do we simply turn our head, And look the other way,

Well the world turns...

I am seeing my Dr today, I think she is right that I am premenopausal and so another chapter begins. Quirky I didn't realize you were in the fires, for you and yours I am sorry. After such upheaval it is only right you were given your own badge, to help with your identity recovery. I am impressed with how you care for others even after such a hard time.

I am also impressed and blown away with Aries knowing, what's right for himself at such a young age. And to Asdff, I to worry about possible outcomes, my Dr says I do it to protect myself, what? so if you can figure that one out, please tell me because sometime I feel she is confusing me. And Lisa I wish you had been one of my teachers. Thank you all for making this forum possible and for helping make the bipolar tolerable. Cheers M

[Airies]

Wail, I was clueless , clumsy, often distracted as a child.Lisa I don’t know how you do it. I spent a few years working at a private school, a boys school , most behaved but some privileged
i was due to do a zoom session of an mental health session today. No email so I rang only to be told after lots of confusion that as I hadn’t attended the previous sessions it was no go for me.
I know mental health facilities are struggling but why send texts, confusing messages and so on. Anyway a PTSD course in the new year and that’s enough of a brain drain. It’s very wet here today. Great for the garden..

[quirkywords]

Aries I was clumsy distacted untidy and disorganized and was told once I belonged in boys class as i was untidy and was even more untidy than the boys, imagine that!!

Wail I just do want I can do and being on this thread as helped me so much,

[wail]

Hello, My Dr says I am eligible for a psychiatric service dog and she would like me to apply. I just don't feel responsible enough and dogs always dominate me. Yes I am very scared of such a big change. If you guys became eligible, would you apply for a service dog ? Apparently the dog can go to all the places you do, but that means the general public will know that I am different. I should be excited a trained dog to help me self regulate but my worry is spoiling this offer.

[velvetfaerie]

As much as I love dogs.... I'd love a service honey badger.

😎

[asdff]

My Dad has a service dog. It’s a border collie and I would have her in a heartbeat. If it was my choice of dog for me; border collie crossed with a sheltie. 2nd choice Labrador.

[quirkywords]

Wail

What do you have to do to get a service dog, is that about anxiety.?

My friend has a dog that goes with her but not an official dog but as she uses a wheelchair he is so friend.y and everyone talks to her and the dog.

[wail]

Greeting creatures of the light, Asdff I so appreciate you mentioning that your Dad has a service dog and that the dog is a border collie and that you'd like a Labrador service dog. Thank you, I was under the impression that service dogs were all alsatians and alsatians sort of scare me. Is your Dad a veteran?

Quirky- I haven't applied or done anything worthy of such an opportunity, so they must have an over supply of unemployed service dogs. "With no person to serve these dogs walk the streets, doing gang crime and they hunt to find Velvets,' stinky nasty honey badger."

You guys crack me up! Cheers