This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

V I like splashing in puddles and walking in the rain if I can get changed quickly.

lisa glad the appointment went well.

2 of my children live close to cbd in a big city and the rents and unit prices are so high.

I like visiting them but like my place a couple of hours from the city.

[Airies]

V , I hope the rain washed some of your sorrows away. That guy sounds like a right pr*ck. At least you rallied and smiled in the end. Wife and I plan to walk by the beach tomorrow, a rarity more so because of me as I lack motivation to do anything. Ran into an old neighbours child, now an adult and I remember her as a 4 year old when we first moved in.
Hopefully a good nights sleep. A walk and ride should have helped. I’ve also been forgetting to take my melatonin

[velvetfaerie]

Well he wasn't the only one..oh well. Same reason I suspect. Precious entitled parent syndrome.

Some people are so full of their own self righteousness. Sorry my dear but you and your kids are not unique nor special.

[velvetfaerie]

And some can't handle a difference of opinion or life choices.

As they say... the trash took itself out.

[quirkywords]

Velvet,

I had some who has been involved in a group thst looks at helping people through wisdom scream at me because I did not agree with them. The group is all about understanding people’s childhood trauma to grow as an adult and make choices.
Yet this person can not stand that I had a different opinion. So ironic.

You don’t ave to agree with someone but let them have an opinion .

Hope you are ok.

Aries I remember when I asked about a friends brother who I had known many years ago. Her little brother is now 50. I feel old.

Bye bye April hello May.

quirky

[velvetfaerie]

I am just sad a conversation wasn't had first to understand each other so as to avoid losing a friendship. I wonder if they judge other minorities as harshly not knowing their story fully.

To be an adult is to have different experiences and opinions and still exist in harmony. Not crack it because you think only your way or life is worth a damn.

I'm very sad dude.

[Lisa611]

Airies a walk along the beach sounds nice.

V people will always judge regardless of what you do. Narrow minded people will always think that their way is the right way to live life.

Today was a good day. Visited eldest daughter this morning then helped partner clean the old place. Youngest daughter got the share accommodation place. She moves in next weekend. She will be living with another girl and a guy. I hope they are decent people. I suppose I have to trust her to make smart choices. She will be living in an area that has alot of alternative people. It is close to uni and closer to her work. When she moved out to live with her boyfriend that was at his parents place so it was different as she didn't have to pay any rent. I know I have to accept that she is an adult now and I know the move will do her good but it doesn't stop me from worrying.

[Airies]

Quirky that is disgusting. I hope the facilitator stepped in and said something. Was it a long time ago? Not that time excuses it. I know at the groups I’ve attended at the Clinic rules have been put in place to alleviate this.

My next group if I go ahead will be PTSD. I’ve done loads of groups and therapy. There’s only so much you can do and my last group was cut off due to the facilitator pulling out and to be quite honest it takes a bit to attend and put yourself out there. Walked along the beach where we used to live, people everywhere but it made a welcome change

[quirkywords]

Happy May to everyone ,

I wonder what May will hold for us all.

Aries

We were just talking not in a group situation when she erupted. I thought it was ironic that someone who came from a group that espoused wisdom decided it is wise to tell others how to think.

Velvet

I am sorry you are a sad dude.

Lisa

yes we never stop worrying about our children as long as we are alive.

Autumn tree ,

how are you.?

Take care all

[Dani70]

Hi Autumntree,

i too have bipolar T2. At first I felt like you. It's important to accept your diagnosis to help you on your journey. Bipolar does not define you, YOU are still YOU, you're just living with a mental illness. Yes it will effect you most days but mood stability is paramount.

I do a mood chart everyday to track my moods and write in a journal. My psychiatrist put me on lithium and epilum and this has dramatically reduced my manic episodes.

I hope this helps. Be patient and kind to yourself!

Daniella.