This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Loula]

Are you not medicated Velvetfaerie?

Ive been on 5 different medications till I have found the 2 I’m on. I’ve had the weigh gain. I’ve had them make me feel worse. I’ve had them make me feel slow in the head. It’s horrible! I wish there was a one pill dose all trick.

Are you seeing a doctor or someone regularly to help you if your doing it on your own?

I did it on my own and thought I was surviving but had a dangerous fall so I started the medication I’m on today and I’m like omg when I thought I was surviving I barely was.

You guys know me and how much I hate taking tablets and I just want to be human normal what ever that is. Mabye talk to your doctor about it because it sucks when your having a bad day and know you need some extra help.

Why don’t you plan your dream holiday today. Go to a happy place?

[quirkywords]

Everyone,

keep asking questions because we all learn from the answers.

Loula,

I think everyone is different and has a different experience with medication. You,velevet and me have all had different experiences.

Some people take a long time to get a balance with medication and some don't use medication at all. I fee lucky tht I found one medication that worked for me with few minor side effects.

Velvet I like your advice-

Keep up appointments

be self aware

be honest

I have a few more to add

Keep healthy and fit

Keep a sense of humour

Be flexible

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

I am not medicated. I see a psychologist. I use exercise and decent diet to manage. I have an emergency stash of anti anxiety meds.

Dream holiday - getting the leave off work for a year is going to be an issue sadly.

I see psychologist on Monday.

Bad day yeh. Tomorrow will come.

[velvetfaerie]

Cool list quirky 😄

[Airies]

Velvetfaerie,

hats off to you for managing medication free. Takes true grit and resilience. I rely on my meds. Excercise and diet help. I just pigged out on Kfc , lollies and chocolate and spent some quality time with my son playing an old fashioned board game. Spent 3 hours excercise today which was good. Frustrating at KFC, young kid with what must have been brand new braces and elastics. Drawn out saga to order. I couldn't understand him at all talking through gritted teeth. It was funny and frustrating but why have him on the front counter. The chips were soggy as well but my son and I had a ball. Dragged him away from the computer and so nice to relate to one another. Anybody been watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here? My wife and I make a point of holding hands when walking the dog.

going to be a wicked night of dreams with all the crap I've eaten, meds and excercyding

cheers

[Loula]

Qurikywords words I love your words of advice. I think it works for everyone of us in every process we are in. I just wish I was super smart and could invent a pill that suits everyone for bipolar.

Its strange how we are all so different with how our treatment works on us. Like one agrees with you but not with me.

Velvetfaerie that’s amazing your doing this unmediated. Shows determination and inner power. That’s good you have your anxiety stash. I have one of those to as I had horrible anxiety but I’m getting really on top of it but then some days it just goes well hello I’m coming in a large wave that all your logic in your head is not going to be able to calm you down.

OMG a year of work would be amazing!!! I know it will never happen to me. What are some of your dream holidays guys? I’ve also wanted to go Alaska in spring. See the bears teaching there cubs to catch fish. All the different types of whales and scream at the killer whales. I don’t like them. Bullies of the sea. Lol!!!

Airies 3 hours exercising! Wow!!!!! Remember chocolate is never bad lol! Now the big question did you get potato and gravy at KFC? It’s great you had a good day with your son. Sounds lovely.

I’m not watching Celebrity much, I just see bits. I am though watching MKR. I really want to go on that show haha.

Enjoy your dreams tonight. I dreamt of neon snakes last night. These meds set my brain of.

[velvetfaerie]

It gets hard at times without meds though believe me. Just had small anti anxiety dose now. Been wound up today.

I’m very resilient/stubborn/etc. I may fall but I’ll get back up. I’ll fight.

Mmmmm chippies. I had some too!!

lol I love the anxiety description Loula 😊😊 I giggled coz I understand!!!

I don’t watch tv. I probably should as escape mechanism. I find it really hard to slow my brain, and body, down. Always been like that.

Dream holiday - New York. Storm chasing in tornado alley. See More of Europe especially the Scandinavian places. Vikings 🙂🙂🙂

v.

[Airies]

Loula,

dream holidays, I love cruising ( on the high seas), great way to get pampered, see the sights and realise how vast the sea is. No potato and gravy can't stomache it.

id love to do a cruise through Alaska, all that Nordic stuff and I always wanted to climb Everest or get to base camp. I now have a fear of heights. My meds totally stuff me up in that regard. I watched a series on NetFlix where a handful of people were living in isolated parts of Alaska and lived off the land hunting and fishing. Totally blew me away.

i can't cook to save myself. Luckily my other half is a brilliant cook. Go for it as going on the show. Been watching a bit of Married at First sight. That's totally daft.

Neon snakes sounds totally wicked. Gawd knows what I will be dreaming about tonight.

Tomorow more xcecise to burn off the calories. Sweet dreams I hope

cheers

[velvetfaerie]

Boats are AWESOME! yeh I think Alaska would be fantastic too.

I love cooking. My latest fad is air fried spring rolls. Stuff rice paper with veges/meat... roll and bash through the air fryer for a few minutes. OMNOMNOMNOM.

Neon snakes. Awesome name for a band.

V.

[quirkywords]

Thanks everyone for your great replies. I really like the informal exchange of ideas here.

Dreams, as I have said before I dream a lot and they never make sense but I often wake up worried by the emotions from the dreams.

Loula, I like the description of anxiety and I could apply it to bipolar as well!

Velvet, tell me how do find your air fryer, I thought it maybe be another fad but obviously you use one.

Aries, I have never ever been on a cruise. Alaska would be too cold for me!

I often dream of one day of going unmedicated but probably won't happen.

Quirky