This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Hello all.

Airies I am tired just reading how much time you spent on exercise.

I maybe sow but doesn't everyone have 12hrs from last meal on one dat rill breakfast- maybe we eat very early I guess.

I am humming along as Iread the music you like Stardust and Airies.

"too much pain and fatigue re being a girl" Amen to that.

Quirky

[Loula]

Hi Everyone,

I love how David Bowie kept changing himself. True artist. Oh Floyd!!!! I love DSOTM!!! I got and early edition on vinyl. I've actually be collecting early rock and roll on vinyl because I love the distortion sound. It sounds pure. And it's the closest I will ever come to seeing theses bands.

PMS AAARRGGGHHHH!!!! I get a bit grumpy and in need of chocolate. I've been on many pills as I actually get horrific pain but all they do is make me sick. Bring on menopause lol!

No nothing I can do about my appendix. Pain killers arnt even touching it. I just got to gritt my teeth and work.

No I don't believe everyone is 100% happy. That would just be scary. I just want to have the normal level of happiness and sadness as a person with non bipolar. I just don't want to take these tablets daily to make me function. I shouldn't need a tablet to make my head work.

[velvetfaerie]

I like ALL kinda of music. from way back when, to now.... some of now anyway. I have some vinyl. I want a proper sound system and TV etc. But I don't see the point. I am never still long enough to enjoy these things. Always on the go. If and when man thing and i live together, he has many of these things. I can enjoy them them. I can, however use one of my guitar, bass or keyboard amps. they are LOUD 😄

I have emergency chocolate money with me today 😄

v.

[quirkywords]

Hello all, how is everyone going today?

Loula,

I am not sure what 100% happy would look like maybe a hall mark card!

I wonder if musicians like artists get more famous and liked once they have gone.

Velvet, emergency chocolate money, I like that.

I wonder if any one does not like music. When I am low I get very fussy about the music I want to listen to and often prefer silence to music that annoys me. Is anyone else like that?

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Kind of. When I am really down/blue I won't listen to any music at all.

[Lady_Stardust]

Loula, I can’t say enough about Bowie. Well I can, I can talk a lot about him until people tell me to give it a rest - but I never will. 😂 DSOTM is amazing. Also Wish You Were Here. The way Shine on you Crazy Diamond goes off in part two? Wow. That is art.

I have quite a few records, but they’re not mine as such, they’re my mum’s. She’s pretty much given them to me though and it’s wonderful to have originals. A few of them are mine that I’ve bought. I unfortunately didn’t get to see Bowie, but I did see Roger Waters doing The Wall and that was so, so good. I also saw Alice Cooper recently and that was a lot of fun. I was so close in the mosh. 😮

Honestly can’t wait for menopause, hahah!

Hopefully the appendix stops being such an awful pain. 😡

I’ve said before, but I do just see it as any other pill for any other ailment. I don’t like it and I sometimes feel the same as you, but I just think, I wouldn’t get angry at someone with a physical illness, so why get angry at myself for a mental illness? Both are out of one’s control.

Sometimes I just want some silence, but I usually have music playing. I get a bit deafened by silence sometimes.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Lady stardust,

I understand the deafening silence which is why when I am very distracted I put radio talk stations on so my brain has to concentrate on the radio programs and not my racing documentary.

Quirky

[Airies]

One day at a time for me. The apps called zero ( assuming you have an iPhone. Stopped using it in June until the other day. It helped me. A light row for me today. Have to fire up the air conditioner. Gotta listen to ones body:). A barbell and weights ( eBay) for this dumbbell. More stuff to inspire,

cheers

[Lady_Stardust]

Quirky, that’s a good idea - I should do that radio trick. 😊

Airies, hope everything has been going well for you with your exercise - make sure to stay hydrated!

Urgh, it’s so frustrating sometimes to be in a house with someone who also has OCD. I believe they have OCD even if they’ve not been diagnosed, just because I do and I recognise some signs. If only our OCD tics were the same - then we’d get along just fine.

[quirkywords]

Hello all, one day at a tome sounds a good plan for us all

Quirky

ps just had my birthday and when I was younger and troubled never thought I could reach this age. Wells one me!1

Quirky