Struggling to go on

[Tess2]

Life is being really hard for me and troubles keep compounding. I cannot face wading through what is needed to move forward I feel isolated and alone. I have people who care but I think they can be overloaded with my despair and it can be a burden. There seem to be obstacles all along the way.

Two years ago I lost my job. A career of 50 years. I am 66 and have no partner. I have not coped well with this loss and now have significant financial problems too. I have to sell my home. Pay off my mortgage and buy a new place. I live with my son who is very caring but I have suppported him financially and emotionally through the family court. His ex is trying to remove him from his daughters life. I feel I have reached my retirement years with very little and no joy. Depression has been a big part of my life. But I have managed. Now I also have severe anxiety. It paralyses me. And panic attacks. I don’t know how to do each day.

[Tess2]

Anxious. But I do feel calmer as the evening comes on. I feel that I am safer. Thank uou

[Guest_1584]

Hi tess.

First up l've gotta ask , but you don't have to say for privacy reasons if you'd rather not.

But what is tess from ?

Reason l ask is l call my gf , well now ex , tess, but her real name is teresa. l'd never heard tess before it was just something l made up from teresa. But now l've seen a few tess's , there's even two in BB and just this week a new furniture brand out called tessa , which is another version l call her. . Sorry if you mind l know you got much bigger things on your mind.

Tess you could get the pension now couldn't you ? I'm not asking you to talk about your personal finances but maybe when the house sells and it'll sell don't worry ok.

Would there be anything left to downsize right down into something you could afford on the pension? Could somebody very good with finances help perhaps ? Not necessarily a financial adviser personally l don't have much faith in them , unless it was someone very good. But just someone that really knows their money and tricks. Know anyone self made maybe , you could talk to about your sitch.?

rx

l'm very sorry about your sitch and also your sons and l pray he doesn't give into that and give up his kids.

[stormcloudz]

Hi Tess

Really glad that it was a little better yesterday evening.

How are you going now? Feel free to ask the forum for anything you would like in terms of practical suggestions or general support. Many of us have been in a bad place at times and will understand.

So glad yesterday was a bit lighter.

[Tess2]

I am not sure where the tess came from, but it. COuld be from my name ... yes i get the pension. It is partly the stress of having to move, and feeling the loss of choice, I have lost a lot in the last few years and i think it has all compounded. I cant help it. I am sure once i have sold and moved some of this will go away, but the anxiety is terrible and the physical panic. Everyblittle thing seems to make me very stressed. Yoday infeel very down about it all. Thank you for your reply

[Tess2]

Tess is also a not uncommon short form of teresa, therese. And so on. There is alsoma famous heroine in literature. ” Tess of the D’urbevilles”. A novel by Thomas Hardy.

[Tess2]

Thank you, i find your posts supportive. I seem to have a reasonable day and then fall in a hole. Today i feel very anxious again. The process of selling my home is wearing me down. Getting ready for home opens twice a week i seem to be always cleaning and tidying and living in an unnatural state in suspension. It is like living in a display home .

I never used to be much of a worrier, now i worry about everthing and cant seem to turn it off, even if it is beyond my control.

I just want to feel calm.

[stormcloudz]

Hi Tess

Don't be too hard on yourself for being anxious over this period - selling a house is stressful, and having to keep the house looking like a display home is exhausting!

I think you are absolutely right, and once the sale process is over and you have settled down, the extreme anxiety will also settle down. In the meantime (and afterward) we are here for you.

Can I congratulate you on keeping the sale process going and maintaining the house for inspections? I think that is great, you really deserve a pat on the back. All that extra housework!

[Tess2]

Thank you for the encouragement. It is a hard slog to keep doing this. I know it is small in comparison to somethings, but it is wearing me down. I feel a bit down today and stressed. I feel like i am not living , but can do nothing about it. I really want to lighten up.

[stormcloudz]

I recognise that a little....sometimes we go through a difficult period of transition where we are just aiming to cope with all the changes, nothing more. For a while, life narrows down dealing with what's in front of us. Is that what it's like for you at the moment?

Selling your house isn't small, it's a big deal and takes a lot of energy (physical, emotional and mental). It's courageous of you to keep slogging on, despite the anxiety and the lows.

What type of things interest you normally? Do you like books, music, animals, sport, crafts? I am a big animal lover - cats, dogs, horses, fish, anything : )

[Guest_1584]

Yeah spot on storm , it is tess , God it feels strange call someone else that name . BUT It's really big thing all that your not alone , most people go through all that selling.

Last time for my my realestate would ring up , he'd always give me 24hrs notice , but there were a lot of lookers and once or twice a day sometimes , others just a few a week , l'd get the call. Couldn't relax or live how l live , l'm messy haha, cleaning up every 5mins for the next one, what a pain..

One night l had a party , no calls all week , 9am sat morng he rings up with a special request if he could bring someone right away, an hour. after a party , l'd only just gone to bed , drunk , place looked like a bomb hit it . l said no but he said you really should let them come l think these people will buy it. Oh ok then , damn it. Raced around cleaning up , hung over 2 hours sleep, but he was right they bought it thank god so that was the last one.