Purple

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

Was recommended to start my own thread so here it is. The gist of it is I am unhappy, unmotivated and don't enjoy or look forward to anything. Am always tired and hate my life!

[quirkywords]

Hello Purple,

Grandy has said what I was going to say. Thanks grandy.

I too believe that things will get better.

I used to feel everyone was in a play with the same script but I had a different play so I did not connect and felt left out.

I remember telling a person who I felt was so confident and popular and she often felt she did not fit in either.

I could not believe that. I thought I was the only one who felt like I did not belong.

Quirky

[Purple_lady1]

Hi ggrand

Have spent hours reading through your thread. Oh my god, wow, I had no idea. Have so much to say to you. You truly are a survivor.

I have many things in my life that I am not proud of and I mean many. I think I was the original wild child. I just don't seem to stay on the straight and narrow. All of this involves drinking. Not good, not good at all. A lot of what you feel guilty about seem to have been out of your control.. You are too nice a person. Some of your guilt is completely unfounded. Oh How I wish you could see this. You did what you had to do under unbearable circumstances. I no longer drink and haven't for 20 years. The reality of what life is for me at the moment is not good. I have nothing but me. I have already told some of the things I have lost or never had in the first place. I love that I have you on my thread

Thankyou

Purple

[Purple_lady1]

Quirkywords

How do we fix this? Does everyone feel disconnected?

urple

[quirkywords]

Purple,

I think to some extent everyone feels at times they don't really fit in with other people.

Some people appear to effortlessly connect with others and belong but I guess even they have times when they feel awkward and unlikeable.

It is human nature to want to belong and be liked and valued but at times we will struggle and it will require a big effort. Sometings come naturally to some but to most people it does require a plan or practising behaviours that work.

You said that you don't like yourself. have you seen the Do you love yourself- it is a great thread where people discuss how they ate trying to like themselves and what works and what does not.

Don't worry about the word love, that is the title but mostly it is about trying to like ourselves and be gentle to ourselves.

Quirky

[Purple_lady1]

Hi Quirkywords, since I have been writing here I kinda feel slightly better. I am trying very hard to feel worthwhile. I have nothing and no one around me to help or to do things with but I really am trying. If only I could feel I belong somewhere. I don't think I will ever like myself so don't expect others to like me. The loneliness is ever present and the sadness is so, so hard to pull away from. Ggrand I would love to hear from you, it was you who through all your sadness spoke to me so positively. I thank you for that. Hope to hear from you

Purple

[Ggrand]

Hello Purple,

Im sorry I was so long in replying to you,

Thank you very much for your kind words they are very much appreciated. I feel honoured that you read through my thread, thank you❤️.

Congratulations on not drinking for 20 years, well done.

I am so very proud of you, not just words but coming from my heart when I read your words " but I'm really trying". thats all any of us can do. trying is a powerful thing to do, by trying you are also being kind to yourself, well done,

I relate to you feeling disconnected to people and life, I have felt this way for a long time, I'm thinking that the more you talk to the people at your gorgeous fur buddy meeting, you might connect with one or more of them. again it's worth a try honey.

Do you live in a busy city, town etc, just can't remember if you said so before, sorry.

The more I am here speaking to you, the more I can see what a gentle soul you really are, we all make mistakes, wow my whole life is a mistake, but I'm trying so hard to put that behind me and move on. Hard I know, but I hope not impossible and one day I can wake up in peace.

Have you checked out the thread Quirky mentioned, I use it that a lot, I join in and post there and i am learning a lot about being gentle to ourselves and the people in there are so knowledgeable and encouraging, please try and see what you think even post something if your up to it. you can join in any conversation on any thread maybe you have suggestions, or you can support or encourage them. You can maybe help someone.

You are special to me Purple, please believe me when I say that. Looking forward to hearing from you again.

Kindness only,

Grandy.

[Purple_lady1]

Hi ggrand

What was the thread Quirky mentioned? Sorry I forgot? How are you doing these days. The fur baby group are extremely lovely people, but can I connect? Probably not. It seems to be how I am. An outsider, never fully included. I just can't feel close to anyone. I see other people so close and so happy. I don't have that. This is what I crave. Why am I so disconnected? Seriously I am forever getting talked with no one really caring what I have to say. That is why these forums are such a shock to me. People listen and care. This is new to me. I can't believe that anyone really does care. It is very hard to accept especially seeing as none of you have actually met me. I suppose if I admit it, I don't let anyone in. I am so alone

Purple

[Purple_lady1]

Hi GG

How are you doing? Are you seeing or communicating with your sons? I hope you can realize that your life is not a mistake. Oh my god you are so worthwhile You are lovely. I wish you can see that. On the other hand, my mistakes are many and varied and they affect my life now. It is so frustrating. If I had my life over......

I disgust myself, but like I said I am trying, getting nowhere fast. I hate being alone. Mother issues are wide and varied. No one could believe the extent of her hypochondria. ( not sure how to spell that). These moments of writing on these forums keeps me occupied. Everyone is so nice and interesting. I hope you let me know what's going on. I really would like to know

Purple

[Ggrand]

Hello Purple,

Thank you for your post,

The thread was do you love yourself, your thoughts are welcome. It's a good thread to learn gentleness on yourself.

Please honey don't feel discussed in yourself, If and only if you want to open up a bit about your past here, it can help you, different suggestions etc, but that's entirely up to you. I would love to try and help you with it. But it's up to you. No pressure at all.

My youngest son I hear from a lot, but not the other two, it upsets me, but I don't blame them, I done wrong by them,

I really like it that you say that the fur buddies group have nice people, you are nice also, give it time and patience, be friendly and talk regularly, find out their interests, in convo only then see how you go. I'm really hoping for you that friends with a feeling of contact happens for you.

Do you see much of your mum?

Im usually quick with replies but I'm still struggling so hard to stay above the water, since my psych visit last Tuesday, it was the first time I spoke about some issues in my marriage that I wanted to keep hidden.

I love these forums, the people in them, I love helping people so much, I only hope I do, The people that support and help me on both my threads are so treasured and precious to me, they are the reason I'm still here. The have my gratitude for ever.

I hope your day went and still is going okay for you, I am so proud of you for continuing to go to your fur buddies meeting.

Kindness only 🌸

Grandy

[Ggrand]

Hello Purple,

Just checking in to see how you are feeling.

I hope your day was a good one, with a little light shining through your beautiful soul.

Kindness always.

Grandy.